Dear overly exhausted mama,
I want to get to know you. I want to reach out to you. I know you are there. But I feel as though something is standing in the way.
I cannot see you. I cannot find you.
Please, don’t stop reading. What I am about to tell you will hopefully change your perspective and open your eyes a bit. Because I know exactly what you’re going through.
I know how exhausted your fragile soul is.
I know how hard your sleepless days are. I know that you spend your days feeling all kinds of emotions. I know that the only things that are keeping you awake are caffeine and your anxiety.
I know that you try very hard to do everything by the book, but I also know that most of the time you feel like you’re failing at all of them. I know that it feels like you are losing your strength.
I know that you’re doing your best to be the best mother for your loved ones, the best partner for your husband, but I can see that you’re doubting yourself. You feel like you are not enough.
I know how much love your vulnerable heart carries, and I know that you would sacrifice everything in life for your family, but I can see your guilt. It is eating you up.
I know that there are days when you lock yourself in your closet for 5 minutes and just cry in silence. I also know that in that moment when you hear your kids screaming, you think that you are the worst mom for leaving them unattended for a few minutes.
I know that your going crazy inside your head. I know how confusing and disturbing your thoughts sometimes are.
I know that you’re going out of your mind balancing between your work, your house and your children. But this makes you a Superwoman. Have you realized that?
I know that you cry at night worrying whether you’re a good, patient, present and loving mother. I know that you question yourself a lot.
But I cannot see it on your face, dear. I cannot see the pain in you, because you’re doing your best to cover everything up. You are wearing a mask. You are putting a smile on your pain. Your eyes look like they will burst into tears, but somehow you pull yourself together and keep doing that needs to be done. You are a hero.
But, let me tell you something. You are also a human.
A fragile dandelion in the wind. You mustn’t lose your strength trying to accomplish all.
Try to remember this the next time you feel like you want to scream from the top of your lungs and let the whole world know what it feels inside your soul. Remember that you are nothing less than any other mother out there. You are not the only mama who feels that way.
It is all a part of this journey called life. It’s how we grow. It is how we learn that we are stronger than we think. It is fine. Believe me.
So, this goes to you, brave mama. You are carrying the world on your shoulders. But you deserve to take that break. It’s not selfish, it is called self-love.