Dear “Best Friend” who was once everything to me,
I decided to let you go.
I know that you may care a little or not care at all, but I’ve come to terms with myself that the best way I can start healing is, to be honest, and open about my emotional state with you.
So, here I am. Trying to heal my wounds by scratching them all over again.
You broke me. You broke who I am. You killed my hopes for unconditional, pure connection and a real friendship. You shattered my heart to tiny pieces that I’m now struggling to glue back together.
So, it turns out that there’s no way to completely mend a broken heart. I learned that the hard way. The scars will always be there for everyone to see.
Anyway… I will never be the person I once was.
I thought that what we had was something that lasts forever. A true friendship, an everlasting bond between two best gals just like the ones in the movies. Someone would say that I’m naive, but I truly believed in that.
Because you were the only person in my life who showed me what unconditional, unreserved support looks like. That’s why I can’t understand how this happened to us.
Remember how close we were to each other? Remember those quiet, cozy nights when we sat on the balcony and talked about everything that really matters in life? Remember the time when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and came running to you with eyes full of tears and a heart full of confusion?
Well, I remember it vividly as if it was yesterday.
I know it looks like I’m in the same old, bitter place you left me in, but this is the only closure I’ll ever get.
I said I had let you go, but I need to say everything that was left unspoken.
I know that when someone means the world to you, you do everything to keep them. You go through all the rough patches, you survive every hailstorm, you fight. But, this isn’t a rough patch.
You left me. You pushed me away and I didn’t even know the reason for your decision. It struck me out of nowhere and it left me speechless causing me the biggest heartache I’ve ever experienced.
I tried to understand. I tried to talk to you, but you were nowhere to be found. When you didn’t show up, I tried to put myself in your shoes and understand what was going on with you. But, I couldn’t find the answer.
Because I was always there for you. I was even more than you asked for. Still, I can’t understand how it was so easy for you to make that final decision and cut me off like I didn’t even exist.
So, after a long depressive period of grieving and weeping, I decided to let you go.
It still hurts me deep inside, but it’s for the best.
You know that no matter how much you hurt me, I will never hate you. So, regardless of how it all ended, I thank you. I thank you for those unforgettable moments, and I thank you for all the lessons you’ve helped me learn. I thank you for supporting me when I needed someone.
But most importantly, I thank you for the greatest lesson of my life. I thank you for showing me that trust is something sacred and it shouldn’t be put in everyone.
Thank you for making it clear to me how cruel life can be. Thank you for making me grow. And thank you for making me understand that I should always choose myself over others!
I wish you all the best,
The friend you pushed away