“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”
I am not sure who wrote this quote, but I fell in love with it when I read it. I like it so much because it is so true.
I am not someone who blames other people for my mistakes, and certainly not about my depressive episodes and meltdowns. However, when I think about all the times that I let someone else’s behavior to put me down and hurt my feelings, I know that this quote really holds some truth in it.
I mean, just ask yourself, how many times you were involved with someone who treated you like crap and you were the only one in the end who was feeling hurt and depressed?
There are people in this world who are assholes. Their existence is only to make others feel bad and bring them down. That’s who they are. It’s their nature and you can’t do anything to change them. You can only protect yourself and your energy by staying far away from them.
How can you recognize them? Well, if people around you possess these 3 characteristics then chances are, you are not depressed, you are only surrounded by people who make you feel that way.
1. THEY ARE LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS
I have never met an asshole that is shy and quiet. Most of the assholes I know are not able to talk properly. They don’t understand the concept of ‘give and take’ that a good conversation requires.
They shout, interrupt, monologue, dramatize, and take-over your personal space as if they are the only ones that have something valuable and interesting to say. As if everything revolves around them and they are the most important people in the world. Not cool.
2. THEY ARE SELFISH TORMENTORS
Selfish does not equal self-care. Respecting yourself and taking care of yourself, your emotions, and your mental state is a very important and healthy thing to do.
Assholes, on the other hand, are only selfish. They disregard the values and opinions of other people because they only care about themselves. They have the audacity to even ridicule your ideas and emotions only to make themselves more important than you.
3. THEY ARE HAPPILY LIVING WITH THEIR STUPIDITY
By saying ‘stupid’ I don’t mean unintelligent. No person can know everything and make smart choices all the time. As for myself, I don’t know a thing about sports except that sometimes it’s exciting to watch a game for a change. However, I don’t go around telling everyone that I am a genius and even try to teach them about sports.
Well, assholes do that. They are more than excited to gloriously dwell on their stupidity and speak confidently about something they don’t know anything about. And even trying to teach others about it. It’s ridiculous and downright crazy.
But why do assholes make us feel sad and depressed?
Because the majority of us are wired to be nice. Our parents taught us from a very young age to be nice to others, to respect them, to value their ideas and opinions, and never ridicule or belittle them.
Nice people are always compassionate with others. They always take other people’s feelings into consideration. They are not intimidating. They are not loud. Instead, they are calm, warm, and respectful.
And assholes make them feel naïve and stupid for being so nice. They see their exceptional qualities as flaws and make them question themselves and their values.
All this may lead to destroyed self-esteem which further could lead to experiencing feelings of sadness, fatigue, insomnia, and depression.
How can you help yourself heal?
Easy. Be honest and real with yourself and try seeing other people for who they are instead of your idealized version of them. Learning how to recognize an asshole is the first step towards healing.
The second step is being brave enough to act. It doesn’t matter if the asshole is your brother or your best friend, you can always remove yourself from their toxic presence for your own good.
Last, fall in love with yourself again and take care of yourself like you are the most exceptional human being – because you are. Eat well, sleep well, undertake a new hobby, buy yourself something you want… do anything that makes you happy.
And never ever let assholes ruin your day!
I am currently writing my first book titled “Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a free chapter after we publish it.