Being a mother is the biggest blessing of them all. They are the most important role models in our lives. However, even though there is no emotion in this world more beautiful than a mother’s pure and unconditional love for her children, some of us have not been lucky enough to experience that feeling. It is sad, but it is the truth.
If you grew up experiencing hell with a toxic and emotionally unstable mother beside you, you already know what I am talking about. The sad part is, not everyone who faces the same destiny is aware of that issue. That is why the first step towards freedom is acknowledging the problem and accepting that it might take time for you to heal.
Here are 7 signs that you’ve been raised by an emotionally unstable and toxic mother:
1. YOU HAVE NO SELF-ESTEEM
And, how would you? You’ve spent your whole life listening to stories about people who are better than you. She constantly pointed out your flaws and compared you to other children. As much as you wanted to detach yourself from her claws and build self-worth, she never let you.
2. YOU ARE CONSTANTLY SEEKING APPROVAL FROM OTHERS
Her toxic behavior has scarred you for life. Her cruel comments have turned you into an insecure person who is desperate for love and attention. So, now you are trapped in a prison that you’ve created for yourself. You don’t love yourself and you don’t believe that someone could ever love you.
As a result, you crave reassurance and approval. You need to feel needed. Because that is exactly what she failed to provide you with. Love and support.
3. YOU PUT OTHER PEOPLE’S NEEDS BEFORE YOURS
She has never been there for you when you needed her the most. This toxic behavior of hers affected you and turned you into a weak person with no sense of self-worth.
As a result, you’ve never learned what it feels like to take care of yourself. You’ve never understood the importance of the word NO. This pain has made you forget about what you want in life and put everyone else’s needs before your own.
4.YOU CATCH YOURSELF BEHAVING LIKE HER
Realizing that you are slowly turning into your mother and you’re copying her harmful behaviors can be truly devastating, especially if you’ve tried hard to protect yourself from her toxic behavior. But you shouldn’t worry.
The first step towards solving a problem is acknowledging that there is one. Being honest with yourself and working hard on reframing on reactions will your key to finding your true self. Don’t lose hope.
5. YOUR MOTHER MAKES YOU FEEL ANGRY, AFRAID AND MISERABLE
Her presence affects your wellbeing. When you are around her, it feels like the whole house freezes and suddenly you are too anxious and afraid to sit in the same room with her. There is negative energy in the room that is making you feel uneasy and the pressure is unbearable.
6. YOUR GOALS GRAVITATE AROUND IMPRESSING HER
Growing up with her has made you bitter, hopeless and insecure, but it has also turned you into a person who desperately needs their mother’s approval.
So, whatever you do in your life, whether it is earning a college degree, dating someone, finding a good job, you always make sure it is something she would like. Unfortunately, nothing you do is ever good enough for her.
7. YOU CONSTANTLY FEEL GUILTY FOR EVERYTHING
You’ve spent your whole life getting blamed for things that you did not do.
The brutal criticism and the constant blame became a part of who you are. An insecure, codependent human being who craves love and approval.
If this is you, don’t lose hope. You may not have had the choice to be born and raised by people you love, but you have the choice to decide who deserves to stay and who needs to get out of your life. Take care of your wellbeing, believe in yourself and work hard on creating a future for yourself. You are strong. You can do this.