Since I was old enough to care about dating, I wondered what my perfect partner would be like. I planned out what they’d look like, how they’d behave, what they’d be interested in, and even what habits they did and didn’t have. After a few years, those innocent plans became my requirements for who my future partner would need to be. Because of that, I didn’t even want to give most people a chance.
Despite that, love always finds a way. I met someone who was so different from who I thought I should be with – and I’ve never felt such a strong love as I do with them. That’s when I realized that your soulmate isn’t always the person who checks all the boxes.
We Have Too Many Expectations
There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want. However, it is a problem when you start giving yourself so many guidelines that your idea of what you want stops existing. We’re telling ourselves exactly who our ideal person is when in reality that person will probably never be real.
Say you want to find a guy who’s 6ft 3 with brown hair, blue eyes, and a muscular body who’s older than you but still young. He needs to be kind, funny, generous, adaptable, never get angry, and like everything that you like. As well as that, you want him to be a doctor who somehow also has an abundance free time to be with you, along with rarely going out with his friends and taking you out for dinner twice a week.
When you say all that out loud, it sounds ridiculous. Despite that, most people’s expectations really are that rigid, even if they don’t realize it.
You Don’t Need to Compromise on Everything
There’s no need to decide on every detail of who your future life partner will be when you haven’t even met them yet. That will only ever lead to disappointment. However, there are some things that we can know that we want and decide not to settle for anything less.
Mainly, we shouldn’t have to compromise on what’s really important. If you want someone who’s kind, then find someone who’s kind. If you want to have kids, then find someone who wants to have kids too. Stick to whatever is truly important to you and throw out the rest.
Just remember to always be realistic. No one will ever be able to devote every single bit of their time to you. Likewise, everyone has days when they’re moody and won’t act like themselves. People aren’t robots, so don’t expect them to be perfect. Find someone who you love more than anything in the world, even if they falter sometimes. That is the only kind of love worth searching for.
One day, you’re going to find someone who you’ll immediately know is your soulmate. Please don’t write them off just because they don’t meet all your criteria. The love of your life might not be the person that you always imagined, so allow love to find you even if your partner isn’t perfect. Trust me, it won’t make you love them any less.
Share this article with your friends to show them that the love of their life doesn’t need to meet all their criteria.