Dating is a complete minefield. We’re constantly trying to push past the noise to find our perfect person. Sadly, there’s often too many people that are wrong for us and not enough that are right. That can cause us to go into one failed relationship after the other with no end in sight.
Somehow though, most of us don’t take the time to understand what’s going wrong? You can clearly see that your relationships aren’t working out, but what’s the problem? Well, you could be dating the wrong emotional or physical type.
The Emotional Type
Have a think about the kind of people that you normally fall for. Are they sweet, funny people who make you laugh? Perhaps they’re the cool and distant people who leave you wanting to uncover the mystery of who they really are. Worst of all, maybe you find yourself attracted to narcissists who only think about themselves.
In my case, I was always attracted to people who liked to live life on the edge. They seemed fun and exciting, the kind of people I could enjoy my time with. As it turns out, what I thought was excitng was actually just reckless. Eventually, that led me to some serious self-reflection on who I really wanted to be with.
Between all the relationships that haven’t worked out for you, is there a pattern in your partners’ emotional types? Were they too harsh, too nice, too introverted or extraverted, or perhaps just not compatible with you? If you can find a common link between them, then you can break that cycle.
The Physical Type
When we talk about a “type,” we’re normally referring to a physical type. Most people have one, whether they’re aware of it or not. Sometimes, these can be things like a preference in hair or eye color. In other cases, it can be how that person presents themselves and how they dress.
If you look back on all your exes, do they look like a police line-up of almost identical people? Did they all have brown hair and brown eyes and dress like a teacher? Were they all the edgy type with tattoos, piercings, and a love of black clothing?
If your choice of physical type up until now has been pretty much the same, it may be time to broaden the range of people that you’re open to dating. Otherwise, you’re quickly going to run out of people.
How to Break the Cycle
So, you’ve identified your type and have come to the conclusion that you’re stuck dating the same kind of people. The solution now is simple – date a new type.
In some cases, that can be easier said than done, but be open to the idea. Maybe you’ll find someone who is the complete opposite of everyone you’ve ever dated and you’ll still be attracted to them. It could even be the best relationship of your life.
Although we may think that we do, we don’t always know what’s best for us. We can think that we only like a certain type of person, but it always seems to end in failure. The best way forward now is to figure out whether your emotional or your physical type is your biggest problem. After that, you can figure out a way to try something new.
Do you know someone who always goes for the same people? Share this article with them to help them break the cycle of falling for the same type.