Home Psychology WHY WE NEED TO STOP HATING OURSELVES, ONCE AND FOR ALL

WHY WE NEED TO STOP HATING OURSELVES, ONCE AND FOR ALL

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You have all probably heard the saying that we are our worst enemy and be assured that there is nothing more right than this. No one can ever harm us like we could, no one!

We tend to blame others for what we are going through, but actually no one can hurt you, or make you nervous, or put you down in any way if you know who you are and if you believe in yourself.

Unfortunately very few of us have so high level of confidences within and know their self-worth. And even these people have learned to be so, the hard way. (1)

Most of the time we doubt ourselves, we complicate our lives, pollute our minds with unnecessary and mostly negative thoughts, we punish ourselves, hate ourselves, feel sorry for ourselves and above all, we pin this wrong-doings to the “outer forces”.

We blame the whole world for making our life a living hell. And I can easily tell you things like: life is beautiful; you must be positive; don’t worry the Universe knows what it is doing; but all these words won’t make you happier, won’t give you the protection you need and definitely won’t change the way you feel.

Although true, but they are just words and what you need is actions, visible results. But I could try to explain why are you feeling so worthless and suggest few tips how you could stop this feeling which might work if you are willing to understand.

First of all you must know that your thoughts are not even yours! How come? Well, think about it – we are all born as “tabula rasa”, “blank slate” which as we grow up is filled with sentences written by others, and since we don’t know this fact, we confuse them as our own thoughts.

Remember that at that particular age, when the words of others started writing themselves on our mind-board we were too young to understand them, or to rebel against them and thus these words, these thoughts remain stuck to us. (2)

Now, imagine that most of these thoughts were full of anger, disappointment, unworthiness, that was pure reflection of the people with whom we were surrounded and because at that age our mind acted like a sponge, we have collected everything without questioning their liability.

So this is how these unreal, foreign thoughts became the very foundations of our own opinion for ourselves as we grew up.

I hope this explanation brought little more light upon the subject of thoughts and now you can take this knowledge into consideration and start seeing the beautiful being you are, which deserves all the love and protection in the world!

To beat all the negativity in you, to clear yourself from the negative thoughts, you must make radical changes and finally take full charge over your own life.

After all it is your life, so stop putting yourself on a plate for others to cut you into pieces and throw them around.

The first step is to understand that the one who can truly help you, is you! Having this in mind you can start analyzing your thoughts, more precisely “the thoughts” that are in your head. As you examine them, you can see that none of them are actually you, so what to do now?

Try to be very aware of every thought and start cleaning up the mess that you have unconsciously made, or was made to you. Remember, this is the most painful phase, but if you do go through with it you shall be reborn once again and totally new you shall shine upon the earth.

So, this cleaning part is actually the process of acknowledgement of the thoughts in your mind. You must acknowledge them and confront them, you can’t possible pretend that they are not there.

If you do this, you will drive yourself crazy, so instead, gather all the strength you have left and confront all the negative thoughts you have.

They will scream at you, hunt you, hurt you and try to pull you down, but remember- they are not you, and most of all you are not them!

Go directly through these negative thoughts, destroy them one by one until they no longer control you. You must stop feeding them, and trust me they were well fed until you have thought about them.

The thoughts are fed by your own energy, your own emotions, which in this case is your fear. So now you must cut them off of their energy supply and wait, just breath and wait, and they will start to go away.

Maybe you’ll get flashes of some angry thought, but remember that this is their last try, so stay calm and let the thought go away. Just let them all go, they are not you!

Now with no negative thoughts left, there is plenty of space to form the real you, to start growing a beautiful flower inside you, a flower that you like to become. And for a beautiful flower to grow, a beautiful seed is needed, so start sowing such seeds.

Your mind is your garden and you can plant whatever you like to grow there, because eventually what you sow, so shall you reap. If you plant positive thoughts, they shall grow up to be positive characteristics of you own self.

Your thoughts are the driver and you are the vehicle, so if you don’t like the place you are going to, please replace the driver!

It can be done, just start changing and let go of all the baggage you do not need any more, let go all that wasn’t yours anyway and you shall be free and happy. (3)

I know that it is hard to become your own boss, but push yourself further away from the opinions of the others that have for you, push yourself so you could become the perfect person you are and let all the chains you hold on to, just let them go.

Remember – the key to your own Happiness is YOU!

David Smith

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