In this world that is getting more cruel and brutal, there seem to be people who are predators and people who are preys. And it’s up to you which side you’ll choose.
Narcissists are predators. They are the ultimate players. They possess an alluring charisma that is so hard to ignore. They also have a sense of entitlement as they require constant admiration and attention from their “prey.”
I am sure many of you have already fallen for a narcissist. This doesn’t make you a weak person for not being able to resist them. Many women fall for the narcissist’s honey words.
However, strong women who were raised in secure and warm families where the family members loved and respected each other are confident and secure enough to not fall for their words and manipulative tricks.
Sadly, women who were abandoned, unloved, or even abused as children are not so lucky.
Since they lack the feeling of safety and emotional support from their parents, they grow up to be insecure and codependent individuals always seeking for love and support from others that they didn’t get as children.
As a result, these women can easily lose their awareness and their ability to make a difference between a good, nice man and a narcissist who is manipulating them only for their own selfish needs.
So, they become an easy prey for the narcissists.
Typically, there are 2 kinds of toxic attachments – fearful avoidant, and anxious preoccupied.
The fearful avoidant daughter has a very low self-esteem and thinks that everyone is better than her, so she doesn’t deserve anything good. She is constantly pushing good people off even though the things she desires the most are love and affection.
The anxious child is extremely needy and codependent person who is afraid to be disappointed and hurt. She is constantly searching for reassurance of her partner that he loves her and that he will never abandon her.
So, why do these 2 types of women attract narcissists?
Their neediness is giving narcissists the ultimate power they need. Their immense and constant need for attention and love and their desire to fill the hole in their heart that is there since their childhood is the main sign that a narcissist needs to start with their abuse.
They confuse the narcissists’ wicked and manipulative games for love and passion. Insecure and emotionally abused children often mistake the narcissists’ games and harmful gestures as a sign of love because they don’t know any better. They never received real love from their parents and that makes them vulnerable to fall for the narcissists’ make-believe love.
They don’t know how to respond to verbal abuse and that’s what makes the narcissists even more powerful. Abandoned and unloved children have experienced emotional, physical, and verbal abuse many times in their childhood and they have accepted these kinds of behavior as normal. Many of them even chose to remain silent from fear. This is why they are prone to accept the narcissistic abuse as something normal.
And finally, control and manipulation are things that they grew up with. So, any kind of manipulation and control that they get from the narcissist is not strange for them. They are accustomed to that since they were little girls. And this mindset is what empowers the narcissist.
So, whenever you can’t recognize a person’s malicious behavior and their toxicity, or whenever you are scared to stand for yourself and cut them off from your life, remember that you are giving them your loaded gun and you make them stronger by making yourself weaker.
Don’t do this to yourself. You can always help yourself to heal and become strong enough to not allow this type of behavior anymore.