Someone once said that people grow when they are being loved in the right way. And I truly believe that if you want to help them heal, you should love them for who they are, without explanations or hidden agendas.
The truth is, you can’t love someone and secretly hoping that they will change with time. That your love will mold them into the person you really want them to be. Love doesn’t work that way.
Loving someone means accepting them as they are, at this moment, in all their wholeness.
And yet, so many people enter relationships hoping and expecting that their partner will begin or stop doing certain things that bother them.
That is not love. Period.
It’s us wanting to change another human being to become someone who we think would be more compatible with us.
It’s us taking thread and scissors to sew and cut someone’s good and bad qualities until they become someone who we think they should be for us to love them and have them in our lives.
But, how about instead of trying to change someone, you were to love them as who they are, flaws and all?
Because the most courageous thing that anyone can do is to love someone else for exactly as they are.
When you have that approach of relationships expecting the other person to change, you lose sight of what’s truly important in love and where your partner is on their journey. And instead of allowing everything to fall into place and let your partner grow and be whatever they are supposed to be – you set up roadblocks because you want them to grow only in the way you think they should.
No one wants to be changed. No one wants to be told what they need to do to be loved more. We all want to be loved for what we are.
And we should all wait for a love that doesn’t want to change us but does expect us to grow and become a better person.
Because the best relationships are those in which every person is free to go where their heart is guiding them to. There is no pressure, no rules, no confinement.
However, this doesn’t mean that you should allow someone to treat you badly. Rather, it means that you are choosing love and you are hoping that your love would inspire you and your partner’s growth. That you two will be growing together.
The best type of love that you can have is the one where your partner wants to help you grow through your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical path – and not because they want to change something about you, but because they want you to become the best version of yourself.
A love that inspires you to become more of who you are – not less.
The biggest proof that you are in a right relationship is a love that grows but doesn’t expect you to change. It will give you a sense of freedom and peace that will enlighten you in many ways.
You will know that you don’t have to do anything special to deserve the love of your partner. And that’s amazing.
Because when you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to change anything about you, you are accepted for all your demons and flaws. And you accept the darkness and wounds of your partner.
This type of love does exist for those who are willing to wait for it.
When you make a decision that you are worthy of true love, that you want to give your love to another person as you are being your highest and evolved self, and when you find your highly evolved counterpart – then the aspects of you that you didn’t want others to see, will suddenly become beautiful to the other person who will be able to see all your light within the darkness.
Every one of us is meant to grow and explore ourselves in all kinds of ways. We shouldn’t stop our growth process for anything. Rather, we should find someone who has the same mindset as we do and inspire each other constantly.
Rather than being restricted by someone’s limited ideals, we should wait patiently to experience the magic that will happen when we meet someone who will love us for what we are.