As a society, we’re becoming more aware of toxic people and how we can cut them out of our lives. Thankfully, there is a wealth of knowledge out there about narcissists too. As a result, many people know which warning signs to look out for. Likewise, they also know when and how to walk away for good.
However, something that most people don’t talk about is what happens when a toxic narcissist knows that you’ve figured them out. Sadly for us, they’re not dumb, and they’re going to catch on if you start acting strangely around them. So, this is what happens when a narcissist knows you’ve stopped falling for their bullsh*t.
Attempting to Reestablish Power
Let’s be clear – a narcissist will always discard you in the end. However, they don’t want to lose you when you still have a purpose for them. Once you’ve figured out that they’re just playing games, it can put their power at risk. You, the victim, will more than likely try to take back control of your own life, and that’s the last thing they want if they’re not done with you.
So, they’ll try to take it back. They will want to falsely prove you wrong and make you think that you’ve gotten the wrong idea about them. To do that, they’re likely to use gaslighting against you. Then, they will attempt to revert to all their old techniques which they used to control and manipulate you.
In some cases, they’re immediate efforts to grasp back onto their control of you will work. However, they don’t always. If you’ve already begun to understand who this person really is, it will be harder for them to reclaim their power. That means that they need to move onto another tactic instead.
A narcissist will try to appease you in some way. They will “give in” and feign remorse. Along with that, they’ll even pretend that they’re taking responsibility for their actions and are willing to change. To do that, they’ll offer you a fake apology and use the love-bombing tactic to convince you that there’s still some good left in them.
After they’ve used all of those methods, they will then use guilt. They’ll play the victim and act like you’re hurting them deeply. For example, they may ask you “how could you do this to me” or “how could you say those things about me?”
Increasing Toxic Behaviors
When a narcissist has exhausted all their other methods of gaining you back, they can become desperate. Their attempts at manipulation have failed, and that can leave them feeling frantic. That’s when they become extremely dangerous.
In situations like these, their anger, negativity, ego, and their intense need for control can kick in. This then forces them to amplify all the other forms of manipulation and abuse that they were using previously. They will gaslight, stonewall, and bait you, as well as using smear campaigns against you. Unlike before, however, they will do these things far more aggressively now.
Narcissists put a lot of work into manipulating and controlling their victims. So, they’re not going to give them up without a fight. If they see that you’ve caught on to their bullsh*t, they’re going to do whatever it takes to get you back. Although it may be difficult, try to stay strong in the midst of it all. Most importantly, try to remember why you needed to get them out of your life.
If you know someone who’s recently caught on to a narcissist’s lies, share this article with them. There’s a tough road ahead of them and they need to know what to be prepared for.