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This Is How A Long-Distance Relationship Helped Me Discover A Different Side Of Myself


Can a long-distance relationship work?

My entire life, I’ve been a strong believer that long-distance love stories simply don’t have what it takes for one relationship to survive.

To all of you out there who are about to prove me the opposite, don’t get me wrong. But the thought of maintaining a relationship that is basically hanging on a single thread of fabric is something that makes my blood curl. The thought of being separated from the love of my life scares me. And why wouldn’t it?

It makes no sense.

A relationship is supposed to be based on togetherness. Being in love with someone means being able to hold them in your arms. It means being able to kiss them whenever you want. It means being able to see them whenever you have the chance.

Relationships are about unity. About intimacy and closeness. That’s the only way to keep that fire burning.

You can’t share a hug on Hangouts. You can talk about what worries you, but you cannot feel the comfort and love you’d otherwise feel in the presence of your loved one. You can cry your heart out on Skype, but they won’t be there to wipe your tears or hold you in their arms until you fall asleep.

They may be right there on the other side of the line, and you may still feel lonelier than ever.

But, it is funny how the tides usually turn.

People say never say never. I finally understood that.

I already told you that promised to myself that I’d never let myself enter a relationship were distances were involved. But, to me and I believe your biggest surprise, I ended up doing exactly the opposite.

I’m a woman who stands her ground and respects her values in life. But, when an unpredictable hurricane hits you out of nowhere and takes total control of your life, you begin to wonder.

When Cupid strikes you and you finally meet the person who has the power to make the butterflies in your tummy crazy, you are suddenly willing to change your old beliefs because your hopes and dreams are stronger than anything else.

That’s exactly what he did to me.

I fell in love with a man of the world. The most amazing, passionate and loving human being I’ve ever met. My soul instantly recognized his energy. It was the kind of connection people only read about in novels.

But, he was a pilot. And his profession and passion in life involved large periods of separation.

So, he left. The first couple of mouths were harder than I thought. It felt as though somebody had ripped a part of my soul. We agreed that we’d take it slow, because this whole experience was new for me. He didn’t want to raise my hopes so quickly, but he also didn’t want to leave me hanging. Because he loved me.

And so, we tried. There were days where I didn’t even have the strength to express the pain I felt inside of me. And, then there were days when I was fine. There were days when I hated him for doing this to me, for making me fall for someone so unattainable, but there were also days when I felt like the happiest woman for having him in my life.

The most important part was the fact that we were determined to make this work. From the very minute we laid eyes on each other, we knew that were not going to give up on this just because of the distance.

6 months passed, but to me felt like an eternity. I cannot find the words to explain the hurricane of emotions inside of me when I first touched his hand and hugged him. An ecstasy, a pure bliss, or a state of inexplicable happiness doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.

I knew that our time is limited, and I knew that after a month I’d get back to being alone. But this time was different. This time I was more relieved. The fear was no longer there. I knew that what we have was stronger then the pain of being separated from one another. It was because we trusted each other, and we fought hard to make it work.

I learned that life won’t always follow your plans. And that sometimes you may experience exactly the things you once resisted. But, not necessarily face the consequences you were terrified of.

So, here we are. I can honesty say that I’ve never been happier in my life. We’re together for more than 2 years and he’s coming in 4 days. And I swear to you, it feels like my heart is going burst out of my chest.

To all of you out there fighting the same battle, I hope you know how brave and strong you are. No relationship is ever perfect. But, when the love is real, no distance and no obstacle can ever get in your way.

It will be hard, but I promise you. It will all be worth it.

So, hold on to your lover, believe in what you have and fight against all odds.

Stephanie Reeds