You gifted your heart and soul to someone who you felt was your soulmate. The connection was immediate and intense. An instant recognition of two souls who seemed to know each other since forever.
A soul from your soul. They feel like your best friend, your lover, and your parent all combined into one person.
So, that’s why you gave your all to them. Sadly, you gave your all to someone only to find that they are nothing but a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Both men and women believe that a soulmate is their perfect fit. You meet someone with whom you have instant chemistry and you think that they are your soulmate. However, the problem is that not all soulmates are emotionally available and healthy people.
And even though you feel as they are the missing piece of the puzzle of your life, and they complete you in every way – they will show their true colors sooner or later. You’ll find the ‘not so good’ aspects of their character and it will all look like a bad dream to you.
Maybe you’ll find that they are a cheater and a liar. Maybe they have addictions – to alcohol, drugs, other people, anything…
And you start wondering, how can this happen? How can someone so charming and loving turn into the devil almost overnight?
Listen, the term soulmate doesn’t mean that they are capable of an honest, loving, supportive and long-term relationship. They may be the most generous and kind person out there. They may tell you that they’ve never met someone like you and that they can’t lose you because they would never get over you.
Soulmates are those people who are magnetically drawn to each other due to similar emotional patterns. And often, that’s not a good thing.
A misogynist is usually drawn to a controlling woman who may represent their controlling and abusive mother. A codependent woman is often drawn towards an abusive and absent soulmate, representing her detached and abusive father. A narcissist will seek for an innocent and naïve soulmate who will tolerate their verbal, emotional, and even physical abuse.
Emotionally-impaired soulmates understand each other’s flaws intuitively and interestingly, they are comfortable with their destructive and unhealthy behavior. For instance, a woman who has seen her father physically and verbally abusing her mother, may know deep inside that abuse is wrong, but still, accept that behavior of her partner because abuse is familiar to her.
However, the problem with loving an abusive soulmate is that it is extremely hard, for many even impossible, to end the relationship.
Soulmate relationships are also extremely passionate. They are filled with many irrational and illogical emotions – a bling kind of love. A love that you know is slowly destroying you emotionally, but you are holding to it tightly, unable to let go.
But be careful. Because in my opinion, a true soulmate is someone who will never manipulate and control you. Someone who won’t play games. Someone who will never cheat on you or lie to you. And most importantly, someone who won’t abuse you in any way – never!
When you are with your soulmate you feel at peace. The foundation of the relationship is trust, honesty, and real love. And that should be the foundation of any healthy relationship.
So, if you find yourself in a relationship with a destructive, abusive, and deceptive ‘soulmate,’ please consider that your relationships will never improve until you let go of those toxic behaviors and emotional patterns.
Finally, I sincerely believe that everyone deserves healing and forgiveness, but only those who are aware of their flaws and truly want to overcome them.