There are many people who feel like they are magnets for narcissists because they’ve been dealing with narcissists their whole life. And they can’t help but wonder, why are they attracting so many narcissists. What’s in them that says to a narcissist that it’s okay to approach and abuse them.
Well, many psychologists agree on the premise that it’s not that one person attracts more narcissists than other people, but they are ‘keeping’ the narcissists (knowingly or unknowingly) in their life.
For instance, let’s say you go on a first date with someone you find very smart and attractive. You ‘click’ and connect, and after a number of dates, you notice red flags, but you decide to ignore them. You notice that they have many narcissistic characteristics such as a need for attention and validation, a lack of empathy for your feelings and so on.
The truth is, you don’t have to be able to diagnose a narcissist in order to be repelled by this type of behavior. A person may not know anything about narcissism but it’s enough that they know that that kind of behavior is wrong, and so they immediately disengage themselves from the interaction.
Here are some questions and thoughts to think about: Do you have clear and strict boundaries about what you will and will not allow when it comes to relationships? Have you ever put an end to a relationship because your partner didn’t care about your feelings? Have you ever stayed in a relationship that started off wonderfully but quickly went downhill? Do you often make excuses for your partner’s behavior?
If any of these questions relate to you and you nodded your head and replayed ‘yes’ to them – then chances are, you are keeping the narcissist in your life that other people would weed out to escape any future hurt and damage.
What are your thoughts on this? Share your opinion with us in the comment section below.