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Stop Forcing Things To Happen And Let Fate Lead The Way


We all have our own unique life story. We all have our own journey to follow. A quest for the things that set our soul on fire. A purpose that we need to fulfill before our time here is up. We all have a different path in life, paved with the experiences that we are meant to go through.

But we also have another thing in common.

As human beings, we don’t really want to be spontaneous. Spontaneity and unpredictability make us anxious and insecure. We love to know exactly where our life takes us. Otherwise, the everlasting suspense will drive us mad. We need a concrete road map of our life in order to feel safe and secure. We feel much more powerful when we have control over everything that goes on in our lives.

And so, we tend to force things. Things that don’t usually go as planned, things that we’ve never imagined happening to us, things that change our routine and things that drag us out of our warm and pleasant comfort zone.

We set our expectations high and we desperately try to control life. We plan everything hoping that life will always go accordingly to what our minds have envisioned.

We force love. We force happiness. We force life. We force ourselves to get that degree and finish college before 25. We force ourselves to get married at a certain age. We force ourselves to become the person out parents always wanted us to be. We rush things and, in that process, we forget about finding our own happiness.

It’s not that we don’t know how unpredictable this life is. I believe that besides having experienced life in all its splendor, we’ve also experienced its darker side. We all know how exciting, overwhelming and challenging this life is, but we are aware that sometimes it’s also painful.

We know all of this from our experience, yet we continue to force it, without allowing fate to do its work. We refuse to wait for our life to unfold on its own because sometimes unpredictability carries unpleasant things that make us suffer.

And when life’s unpredictability strikes us and we’re no longer capable of meeting our expectations, we fall down on our knees and we give up. We feel disappointed, tricked and betrayed. We worked so hard to reach our milestone and then suddenly life threw us off balance. Totally unexpected.

Why me? With what did I deserve to experience this? Why is this happening to me and not to someone else?

Well, let me tell you why. I’ve been on this Earth enough to realize that no matter how hard we try to always be in control of what’s happening to us, life does not always go according to our plans. It’s the truth. Nothing in life is actually promised. You may enjoy the sunrays on your face this morning, but tomorrow might bring a heavy thunderstorm.

My point is, it’s scary to not have a clue where you’re going. But, isn’t that what makes our journey much more exciting and much more worth living? Isn’t that what life is all about?

We were not brought into this world to live life solely according to our strict principles.  We were not brought into this world to follow a tedious, repetitive routine called life. There’s much more to our existence. I believe that our purpose is to live a passionate, fulfilling and all-consuming life, to change society’s norms about what is right and what is wrong, to follow our deepest goals, to live unapologetically, to share our unique story with the world and to inspire people to never stop dreaming. In a nutshell, to make a difference.

But in order to make those changes and at the same time, find our happiness, we have to let go of the idea that we control life. We have to stop forcing things to happen.

The truth is, everything in life happens at its own pace and in its own time. I don’t know about you, but I call that fate. And I honestly believe that if something is meant to happen to you, it will. Regardless of all the obstacles that stand in its way.

Stephanie Reeds