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The Toxic Attraction Between The Narcissist & The Empath


The narcissist is a wounded warrior.

Something happened, probably around the time of their childhood, that made them feel unvalued and worthless. And because of this, they are in a constant need of validation and approval from others.

The empath is a healer.

The empath is capable of absorbing other people’s emotions and feeling them as their own. This would not have been a bad thing if the empath was surrounded only with happy and positive people. But, that’s usually not the case. So, the empath feels the pain and misery of other people as well.

If the empath doesn’t have clear boundaries and is not protective of themselves and their feelings – they will burn themselves out and fall prey to the narcissist.

Their connection will be intense from the beginning and that is because the empath, being a heal, will try to “fix” and heal the “broken” and “wounded” narcissist.

The empath fails to realize that the narcissist is a taker – an energy vampire. Given the chance, the narcissist will suck the life and soul out of anyone they come into contact with.

The empath, on the other hand, is someone who thinks that everyone is as kind-hearted and good as they are. The empath always puts themselves in other people’s shoes and forgets that not everyone is a good person and that many people have evil agendas.

The narcissist has an agenda of lies and manipulation. For them, it is crucial to be in control so that they can rise above everyone else. The empath’s agenda, however, is one of caring and loving which the empath does so naturally.

The more love and care the empath gives to the narcissist – the more powerful and in control the narcissist feels. There can never be a balance between these contrasting personalities.

The more powerful the narcissist feels, the more will the empath feel like a victim.

And then, a drastic shift will happen – the empath will become so wounded that they will take on some narcissistic characteristics themselves.

When the narcissist notices that the empath is wounded, they will continue to manipulate the empath to bring them down. The lower the empath is – the higher the narcissist feels. The empath will then start asking for validation, love, acceptance, and approval from the narcissist.

Each cry for help from the empath gives the narcissist what they desperately want – a sense of worthiness.

The empath will start blaming themselves for the situation instead of looking at it for what it is. The empath should wake up and realize that if they focus too much on their own hurt and look for validation from others to feel good again – they will become a narcissist themselves.

The empath has a choice – they can either continue being the victim, a pawn in the narcissist’s game, or they can gather up all their courage and leave this toxicity behind.

Depleted, debilitated, exhausted, and lost – the empath cannot understand what has happened to the once charismatic, caring, attentive, and loving person that the narcissist was in the beginning.

However, people treat us the way we feel we deserve to be treated. And the empath should realize that they can’t change the situation. They can’t fix the narcissist. They can’t heal them. Nor they should try to.

Everyone is responsible for their own life and healing. And the sooner the empath realizes this, the better. The empath must go away from the narcissist.

Their connection is impossible. The heart of the empath is wide open, the narcissist’s heart is closet. This by itself is a recipe for a disaster.

Mary Wright