I’ve felt the pain.
There is nothing more heart-wrenching and devastating than realizing that you are stuck in a relationship with a person who has abusive tendencies. First comes the red flags. Then the denial. After that, they promise they’ll try to make it up to you. But they never do…
So, the next is the blame game. And ultimately, you wake up. You open your eyes to the truth and you try to find your way out. But it’s never easy. It takes time and patience to get out of a relationship like that.
And so, you get out. You release yourself from their claws. But that’s not the end. It’s just the beginning of your recovery process. You no longer bear the burden of having that person around you, but now you bear the burden of getting yourself back on your feet.
And that my dear is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do in your life.
I just want you to know that however painful it is, you need to find the strength within you and be brave throughout this process. There will be days when you’ll feel weak, but no matter what you go through, it is essential that you always choose yourself over the abusive partner:
Here are 5 tips for recovering from an abusive relationship:
1. Stop all contact with the person. This is important. Probably one of the most important steps in your recovery phase. The truth is, there will be days when you’ll have the urge to call them or get back to them. Ignore those cries. Ignore those feelings. In fact, do much more than that. Cut them off completely. Do yourself the favor and delete everything that reminds you of that person. The point is not to eradicate your needs, but not to act on them.
2. Seek professional help. Cry. Shout. Scream. Isolate yourself for a while. Let yourself grieve and feel the pain within you. But if you feel like it is too much to survive it on your own, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
3. Create a support network. Remember. You don’t have to go through this alone. More importantly, you are not alone. You have your friends and your family with you. I get it. The beginnings are always scary. That is exactly why this is the perfect time to surround yourself with the people who truly care about you and love you.
4. Remind yourself that you are a survivor, not a victim. It’s true. You’ve been through a lot. Probably more than you ever imagined you could handle. And yes, there was a time when you were a victim. But you found your way out. You did it. So leave that victim mindset behind you and keep moving on.
5. Focus on your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. There is no doubt. Break-ups are emotionally, psychologically, physically exhausting. They are gut-wrenching, painful, messy and devastating. So, if you’ve successfully survived it and managed to get out of a toxic relationship, congrats, you are a warrior. Now it is time to make time for yourself. It is time to fill that empty space within your heart and find your purpose in life. It’s time to finally be who you are without being afraid of what might others say. It is time to start healing.