Home Love & Relationships Psychologists Reveal How You Can Stay Calm During An Argument

Psychologists Reveal How You Can Stay Calm During An Argument


Conflicts and arguments are something that we sometimes cannot avoid. They are an inevitable part of our lives. That’s why it is essential for us to learn how to remain calm during a heated argument and control ourselves and our emotions.

Here are 6 effective ways to stand your ground during an argument while staying perfectly calm.

1. Take Deep Breaths

Shallow and slow breathing is the body’s natural responses to arguments. So, by taking a deep breath you will remain calm. Also, deep breaths are great for minimizing the production of cortisol and adrenaline which both are stress hormones. Practice taking deep breaths whenever you feel under stress.

2. Focus On Your Body

By focusing on what happens to your body when you are in the middle of an argument can be really helpful for you to stay calm. Because, when your mind is focused on the physical sensations you’ll relax much faster. Begin by relaxing your shoulders and your hands and then continue with your whole body.

3. Listen Actively

During a conversation, when people feel that the other participants are not listening to them, they usually initiate conflict as a response to them being neglected. Again, an argument cannot be solved without an active listening from both parts. So, make sure that you listen actively to what other people are saying.

4. Ask Open-Ended Questions

This is very important if you want to solve any conflict effectively. Open-ended questions are telling the others person that you have been listening to them actively because you respect them enough to let them share their thoughts. Use Wh-questions (‘What’, ‘When’, ‘Why’, ‘How’) instead of asking ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions because these reveals that you want them to answer longer and express themselves better.

5. Keep Down Your Voice

Raising your voice is the surest way to start and escalate an argument. If your aim is to calm down and solve the conflict, lowering your voice down is a great solution. Because when you lower your voice, you are also calming the other person and you are getting calmer as well which leads to resolving the conflict faster.

6. Agree To Disagree

You can’t expect that every conflict will end with both sides being happy.  However, it takes two people to argue, so if you want to escape the conflict you should end it before the situation heats up. Just separate yourself from the conflict and the person with whom you are arguing.

Mary Wright


  1. Hi Mary,
    Staying calm during an argument is something I’m learning to get better with.
    These tips will help me even more.
    Most of my blowing up during an argument is from me feeling like I’m being attacked.
    The more I meditate the more I gotten better with active listening.
    Thanks again and I love your blog!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here