Sometimes it is really hard to detect people’s hidden motives. Especially when we are too desperate for love. When we are wounded from past mistakes and vulnerable from past relationship traumas. In those desperate moments, the only thing that we need is a person who will hold us tight and let us know that we are not alone.
We need to be reminded that everything will be okay in the end. And that as long as we have them beside us, we will never ever feel alone again. But what we often forget is that not every person out there means us well. And not every failed relationship is worth giving a second try.
Below I am going to go over some of the behaviors in people that you should always be on the lookout for. Especially in ex-partners who hurt you badly, left you all alone, and then decided to come back crawling to you, begging you for a second chance.
These are 5 signs that they don’t love you, they are just trying to use you:
1. They want to get back to you as if nothing ever happened. They come back into your life like nothing ever happened and top of it all, they even refuse you to give you any time or space to think about it. If this isn’t a classic case of manipulation, I don’t know what is.
2. They haven’t apologized for what they did to you in the past. When a person begs for forgiveness and asks for another chance, they first have to do whatever it takes to win their ex-partner’s trust. If they prove they’ve changed and apologize, there is hope. But if they don’t, then they don’t deserve to be loved the same. They don’t deserve to get back to their partner. If this is the case with you and your ex-partner, I ask you to be very careful. People don’t change easily. And god knows, they don’t often change for other people.
3. They are not always available. If they are not there for you like they said they will, you don’t need them. Trust me, you don’t need to get through the same pain once again. Begging for a second chance should take a lot more effort than this. There is a big difference from a person who begs you because they want to be with you and a person who begs to get back so they can take advantage of you.
4. They still do the things that once bothered you so much. Sure, they say they’ve changed, but have they really? What is it about them that gives you the hint they’ve really changed? If they still do the same things that once hurt you and forced you to leave them, they haven’t changed. And they don’t deserve to have you back into their life.
5. It is clear as a day that they are manipulating you. All of the signs above are a clear indicator that they are trying to get you in the sack and take advantage of you. I am truly sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but real love doesn’t feel like manipulation. When love is pure and honest, you’ll know it in your heart. You won’t ever feel that you have to test your partner. You won’t ever feel the need to doubt them and question them. You will simply trust that person with your heart. And you will know that they would never ever do anything to hurt you.
Open your eyes and face the truth. The sooner you do it, the sooner you’ll be able to heal your wounds.