One word. Priorities.
I have a friend who is in an on-again, off-again relationship for almost 3 years. She believes that the man loves her, even though it’s obvious that the man in question is treating her badly.
Before you lash out on me and accuse me of not being a good friend for letting her deal with that issue for 3 years, know that I’ve literally done everything I could to stop her from punishing herself. She’s aware of the things she experiences, yet she somehow keeps getting more and more stuck into his vicious web of lies.
He’s the type of guy who ghosts on people. The type of guy who uses lame excuses, as “I’m tired”, “I had loads of work today”, “My car doesn’t work” in order to avoid seeing her for who knows what other stupid reasons he has.
And so, this dysfunctional love affair got me thinking…
It’s not true that we’re all so busy that we can’t seem to find time for the people we love. There’s always time for the ones that matter. Keep this in mind. Always.
If someone you care about cannot make time for you, believe me… they don’t feel the same way you do.
It’s not that they don’t have time. It’s certainly not because they’re too tired, or their car broke, or they already had planned something else.
If you ask me, nothing could ever stop me from seeing someone I love. Not a broken car, not a deadline, not a time difference, not even a hailstorm.
I’m sorry but we live in a world of a developed public transport. You have buses, cabs, metros, trams, bikes. If you really want to see someone, you’ll hop in on the first bus and be with them, no matter how far they are. Heck, if I really want to see someone, I’ll walk if I have to!
You are tired? Oh, please tell me more about being tired.
My boyfriend and I usually make plans a week ahead. We’re both employed, both working freelance, we both have friends and different interests. Oh, and did I mention? We barely have any time to sleep.
Yet, we still find the time to see each other. Spontaneity may be lost, but you got to do what you got to do. So, planning weeks ahead it is. At least for now.
If you ask me, I don’t even know how we manage to find some quality time to really see each other, have fun, watch a movie, drink a few beers and talk about things that matter to us.
But we do it. And you know why?
Because we really really really want to do it. We want our relationship to work. We love each other more than words can say. And we believe that we met at the best possible time in our lives. We are certain of our feelings for each other. We know that we were simply destined to be together. We deeply care for one another.
And you know how it is. Nothing is ever impossible when your desire to do something is strong and comes straight from the heart.
So, please. Don’t waste your time justifying your boyfriend’s, or friend’s lame excuses for not spending time with you. They’re not ‘too busy’. They just don’t have time for you. It’s all about their own priorities.
The ones who care about you will do everything in their power to see you. They will drop everything they do whenever you need them beside you. They will reschedule their busy day just to hug you, even if it’s only for an hour. They will spend time with you because they want to, not because you forced them to.
If you want your relationship to work, this is the only way to do it. It takes two to tango, and it takes two to make a relationship last forever. Invest in your friendships and take care of the people in your life.
After all, who knows what tomorrow may bring?