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In The End, I Only Regret Loving You More Than I Loved Myself

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I don’t regret meeting you. I don’t regret being with you and falling in love with you. I only regret losing myself in the process and allowing your toxic love to consume me.

How can I regret something that once made me feel so alive? How can I regret meeting you when you were the one who changed me into the person I am today? No, it wasn’t you who did that. I am the guilty one because of the way I allowed you to consume me and let your toxic love get inside my mind, heart, and body because I believed in you. I believed that what we had was special.

I don’t regret choosing to love you and being with you. I only regret forgetting about myself and my needs. When I fall in love with someone, I don’t hold back. When I am with someone, that someone becomes a part of me. I love everything about that person. I loved everything about you. I chose you every single day. I was there for you. My mistake, sadly, was choosing you over myself. I loved you more than I loved myself. I was saving you, not realizing I was destroying myself in the process.

I don’t regret putting you first, I regret believing that you would do the same for me. I foolishly believed that the more love I gave to you, the more love I’d receive back. I truly believed that my love will have the power to heal your heart and change you for the better. I thought that because of everything I was giving you, all the love and support, you will never leave and break my heart. But, you did.

I don’t regret letting you in, I regret letting your toxic love destroy me. I will never regret being with you because at one point you were everything I wanted. For a while, you made me feel the happiest person alive. For a moment, I thought what we had was special and we will always be together. I don’t regret the memories. I only regret letting your behavior and your toxic love break my heart. I regret staying with you, wishing you would change, instead of choosing myself and leaving you the first time you broke me. I regret helping you heal while I was destroying myself.

I don’t regret loving you, I regret not loving myself. Perhaps, if I loved myself more, I wouldn’t be so broken. Perhaps if I chose myself instead of you, I would have walked away sooner and never turned back. And maybe, if I didn’t trust you the way I did, I would have been the first to say goodbye instead of looking at you – closing the door and leaving me like I was disposable.

I gave you everything – my mind, my body, and my heart. I gave you my love. And you threw everything away. You broke my heart and bruised my soul. You perplexed my mind and made me feel like I was losing my sanity.

Luckily, now, I healed myself. Now, I know who I am and what I deserve. And I will never let anyone abuse you as you did. I will never love anyone more than I love myself.

Mary Wright

Mary Wright is a professional writer with more than 10 years of incessant practice. Her topics of interest gravitate around the fields of the human mind and the interpersonal relationships of people. If you have a general question or comment please fill out the form below and we will get back to you as soon as possible. https://thepowerofsilence.co/contact-us/
Mary Wright