As children, we grew up with fairy tales that all told the same story – two people had terrible lives, they fall in love with each other, then live happily ever after. I’ll be honest with you all, that narrative is complete bullsh*t. Why should I need to look for someone else if I want to feel whole? Why can’t I create my own happy ending?
I refuse to rely on someone else to bring joy into my life. Most of all, I’m not going to search for something just because society says that I should. I will never chase love – happiness is the only thing I’m searching for.
It’s Too Tiring
If you chase after anything for long enough, you’ll end up completely exhausted. I did my time. I tried going out and looking for love for far too long. Admittedly, I met some great people and had a few memorable relationships, some bad and some good. Some of those people I’m still friends with to this day, some I haven’t heard from in years.
Yes, there were some good parts, but searching for one relationship after the other was damaging. I realized that I was so focused on finding the next great love that I couldn’t handle being alone. Through it all, I lost who I was as an individual.
Your Life is About YOU
I lost myself because I was looking for someone else to make me feel whole. All the important parts of looking after yourself were gone from my life. I didn’t take the time to just enjoy being by myself, to read, to learn, to travel alone.
More importantly, I didn’t take the time to love myself. As a person, I have so much love in my heart, but I was giving it all to other people. I was throwing my love away on people who would eventually leave me, and I was left with nothing for myself. The only time I liked myself was when I was in a relationship. That is a sad existence.
Maybe you’re like the person I used to be. Perhaps you spent so much of your energy searching for someone else, that you forgot about yourself. You are always going to be there, no matter whoever else comes and goes. You need to look after you.
Happiness is The Only Thing Worth Chasing
We see commercials and movies, hear songs, and read books that all tell us that we need to look for romance. Why does nothing tell us that we should be looking for happiness? Why tell people that they need someone else to bring them joy instead of telling them to make their own lives full?
It’s not an easy thing to do, but you can create your own happiness in life. Do the things that you love, experience new things, meet new people. Your number one priority should be to look after your own fulfillment.
If someone amazing comes along and you fall in love, that’s wonderful. I’m sure that one day I’ll fall in love too, but there’s no way that I’ll leave everything behind just to find it. I want love to find me in a life that’s already full of joy. Romance should be the cherry on top, not the whole cake.
Love truly is a wonderful thing, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that you want out of life. Go out and do everything that you ever wanted to do. Learn to find joy in who you are and learn to be independent. If you do that, you’ll create your own happily ever after.
Do you agree that we should chase happiness instead of love? Share this article with your friends and family and let them know what you think.