It was never my plan to share this with anyone. Because frankly, it doesn’t really matter. It is not my intention to make this about you, nor make you think that this is my way of subtly reaching out to you.
No, this is just a way of expressing my emotions. Something I need to do for me. Something that will give me my closure and grant me the recognition that I was never the one who was responsible for what happened. Something that will calm my mind at night.
I saw you yesterday. I saw you sitting across the room, smiling at her and laughing out loud. Carefully analyzing her behavior, but at the same time sipping your whiskey, nice and slow. Your eyes caressing her face for one moment, then wandering off in the next one.
You and I… We both know how the story goes.
But poor her, she will probably be the last one to reveal the truth.
You will take advantage of her sweet, innocent smile, you will lure her inside your web of lies, you will make her feel so special that she will begin to dream about that beautiful future I’ve dreamt of having with you, and right then and there, when she least expects it, you will break her. You will crush her dreams and destroy her life.
The minute she undresses her soul and puts her heart into your hands, you will rip it open, the same way you did it with me. You will throw it away like a disposable bag and you will disappear, leaving just another poor, hopeless soul wandering this world, trying to find her place in life.
Because, my friend, you’ve never changed.
I moved on, regardless of what you want to believe in. But you… You are in the exact same place I left you. In that exact circle of hell, you were once desperate to drag me into. You are the same bitter, immature, miserable and ungrateful jerk you once used to be.
The same greedy, self-involved man who gave away his shallow promises like candy. You swore to be by my side. You promised me loyalty, everlasting love and commitment, but what I got was a harsh slap from reality. Your promises were never exclusive. In fact, I was just one of the many notches on your bedpost. And so, will she.
And, I can see what you’re doing. You are doing your best to make her settle for you and accept every inconsiderate, immature, unforgivable thing you do. You are giving your best efforts to blind her and get her attached to you, so you can easily make your next escape.
Because, you, my friend, you are the same piece of trash.
I can clearly see all of that now and I honestly cannot understand how I trusted you. I simply cannot believe that there was a time when I was ready to sacrifice my life for you. I was ready to jump off a cliff with you. I was so blinded that I was willing to do everything as long as it was with you.
But, luckily, that ship has sailed. I’m finally where I want to be. I am finally feeling like myself again. I am alone. I am me. And I am the happiest I’ve ever been.
My scars may be here to remind me of the hell I’ve been through, but they’re also here to help me remember that I am a survivor. A fighter. A warrior. A woman who isn’t afraid to go for the things she deserves!
I moved on, but you are the same ungrateful bastard you used to be.