Suffering from depression can completely ruin your life and your relationships. I’ve had people who I loved that tried to help me but ended up making things so much worse just because they didn’t understand. My only hope for others is that they won’t have to go through the same experiences with the people that they love too.
When you have someone with this illness in your life, there are some things that you need to be mindful of if you really want to help them. The most important of them are these 8 things you need to keep in mind if your loved one has depression.
1. Thinking Positively Doesn’t Work
It’s not just a matter of changing their mindset. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell your loved one that it’s okay or they need to be more positive, they will still have depression. There are so many factors that influence this illness so “thinking positively” just isn’t going to work.
2. It Isn’t a Choice
No one wants depression and no one asks for it. I know it can be frustrating when you don’t understand what’s happening to the person that you love. The difficulty is, you can’t just tell them to snap out of it. If they could choose to be happier, they would.
3. Sometimes, They Just Won’t Have Any Energy
There are so many things that need to be done in a day. The things that you take for granted could be too tiring for them to even begin, such as cleaning, showering, or making food. Some days, they just won’t have any energy left to do anything, no matter how small it is.
4. There Isn’t Always a Reason
Some days will be worse than others for your loved one. A lot of the time, they won’t even have a reason why they feel the way that they do, they just do. There’s often no use in trying to force an answer out of them when they say that there isn’t one.
5. They’ll Try to Push You Away
It may be hard on you, but at some point, they will try to push you out of their life. Don’t think that this means that they don’t love you though. On the contrary, they just don’t want to see you get hurt because of their illness.
6. It’s Not Because of You
It’s easy to feel like you’re the one to blame for everything. You can begin to wonder what you’ve done so wrong to make them feel this way or how you could have prevented it. It’s so important that you remember that it isn’t about you and it isn’t your fault.
7. Tough Love Will Make Things Worse
Some people feel like a stern approach is the best way to help their loved ones. You might think that if you set ultimatums, they’re sure to get better quicker. Unfortunately, it’s not going to work like that. All you’ll achieve is making them feel ten times worse than they already do.
8. It’s Okay for You to Be Overwhelmed
You’re human too and your emotions are valid. Having someone in your life who has depression isn’t easy, so it’s only natural that you’d feel a bit frustrated sometimes. When you feel like that, you can talk to them and tell them that you just need a little time alone to focus on your own mental health.
The single best thing that you can do for your loved one who is suffering, is to think before you act. Remember these 8 things and try to follow them at all times. You really don’t need to solve all their problems. What they need most from you is just for you to be there for them.
Share this with your friends and family to help people to understand the reality of depression.