There was a time when I thought I knew what self-love means. There was a time when I thought I knew what’s best for me. There was a time when I was sure that the choices I make are the right ones for me.
Turned out, they weren’t. That’s right. There was a time when I thought I’m doing the best for myself, but the truth is, I wasn’t. I was only hurting myself. I was making my decisions based on loneliness, desperation, and self-pity.
Fast forward 5 years and here I am today…
Wiser, stronger and gentler with myself.
I am no longer letting toxicity into my life. I am no longer interested in giving second chances to people who only treat me as an option. I am no longer the same person that I once was.
I love myself enough to never again accept less than real love, care, and respect.
Now, I know that this is easier said than done. And I know that it is not so simple to just let go of certain parts of your life. But trust me, it is for your own good. You are the only person who can help yourself.
Remember. The journey begins with you.
Here are my 8 commandments of self-care and self-love:
1. Remove the unnecessary clutter from your life. Get rid of every emotional, physical, spiritual and mental clutter that is standing in your way. Give yourself the space to breathe, live and thrive. Clean your surroundings, cut the people you don’t need in your life, organize your world, focus on your wellbeing.
2. Give yourself the love that you desperately crave. Look yourself in the mirror and learn to accept the parts that bother you so much. Learn to love each and every part of you, whether it’s a strength, a weakness, a secret or a flaw. No one can give this to you except yourself.
3. Stick to what you believe in. No matter how different your opinions and strange your beliefs are to others. Your values, boundaries, insecurities, fears, opinions are your own and no one else’s. They are what makes you YOU. Embrace them and let everyone see your real colors. That is the only way people will ever respect you for who you are.
4. Find out what makes your soul flourish and dive into it. You know what? Life is too damn short to be doing on the shoulds. Stop wasting your energy on people and things that don’t add any value to your life and focus yourself on what really matters. What really fills your heart with joy.
5. Stop being such a people pleaser. Be kind to people, but always put yourself on top of your priority list. More importantly, never change who you are in order to please others. Be aware of your worth and stay away from people who are only interested in exploiting you.
6. Practice mindfulness. The first sunray, the morning mist, the humming of the birds, the smell of the flowers, the color of the sky, the tastiness of your lunch, the simple pleasures of everyday life – these are all things that we should notice more often and enjoy mindfully. Don’t let your life pass you by. Live every moment to the fullest.
7. Be grateful for everything in your life. Every victory. Every failure. Every little achievement. Every little setback. Every good morning. Every shitty day. Every person in your life. Every lesson that life faces you. Every second of your existence. Be grateful for it.
8. Honor and validate your emotions. Each and every single one of them. No matter how painful they are. If you cannot identify and accept your emotions, then don’t expect others to do the same. Not listening to your inner voice and not loving yourself for who you are, means letting others invalidate your feelings and belittle you.