Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and emotional abuse when your loved one disrupts your reality, presents you with a false information thus messing up with your mind and sanity. It causes you to blame yourself for anything that happens in the relationship.
Often the psychopath uses this kind of manipulation to cover up for their sexual infidelity, some addictions, or other types of bad behavior.
Regardless of the reason, the thing that is the most annoying and disturbing about this manipulation technique is that everyone is vulnerable to it – even the most emotionally stable and intelligent ones.
We are all vulnerable because we are human, and we tend to believe the words that come out from the people we trust and love. We never question them, because we try to believe in their good intentions. Sometimes, we even make excuses for them when they are behaving disrespectfully because we are scared that we will lose them if we speak our mind.
Moreover, it is very hard to tell whether you are gaslighted because the accusations are so subtle, and they start so light and innocent that you are not aware of what is happening. The abuser usually starts with small lies like, “I am sorry honey, I will be late. I have a huge project to work on.” Then, the lies get bigger and bigger and the excuses get more and more dramatic and filmsy.
The sad part is that we don’t notice it because it all happens gradually, and we got accustomed to that kind of behavior.
If you are wondering whether you are being gaslighted in your relationship, here are 3 things that you should watch for.
1. When you find yourself questioning where your partner is and what they are doing, and you feel as though something is not right, so you decide to confront them, but they immediately flip the script – it is usually a red flag.
They may tell you something in the lines of, “Why you keep asking me where I was? Do you not trust me? I don’t like when you don’t trust me.”
Or, “I told you I had to work late. You never listen. What’s wrong with you? You are going crazy over nothing.”
2. If your significant other makes you feel as you are psychologically or emotionally unstable, and they accuse you that you are crazy for not believing them and for imagining things – this is a red flag also.
They may be telling you something like, “Why are you acting so jealous. She is just a friend. There is nothing going on between us. Don’t imagine things.”
Or, “I was not in a club with another woman. I told you I was stuck at the office. You are crazy for believing in other people’s lies.”
3. Finally, if you find yourself completely ignoring your perception of reality and your instincts because you fear to lose them – it is a major red flag.
So, you may hear statements like, “I told you that I have to go to a business meeting this weekend. You never listen to me. But, I don’t blame you, you were sleepy, so you didn’t hear me.”
Or something like, “I really don’t know who you think you saw having a romantic dinner. But it wasn’t me.”
If you notice these behaviors in your partner, please take action and run away from them before it’s too late. That individual will poison your life and will disturb your perception of reality, making you delusional. Ask for help and move away from them for your own good.
Image: Lia Niobe