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Here’s Why Asking For A Permission To Marry A Woman Is An Unnecessary And Foolish Tradition


There’s something that has been bothering me for a very long time now. As a woman, a proud feminist, a human rights activist and an equal part of this society, I often struggle to understand our foolish, chauvinistic traditions.

So, I’m just going to say it. What’s the deal with this useless and discriminating tradition of asking for permission to marry the woman you love?

I mean, come on… Is this the 21st century or are we trading women like cattle?

As far as I know, our parents stop taking responsibility for our actions the minute we turn18 and become legal. And even then, children are not a parental property, slaves or some kind of a possession that eventually needs to be traded for a certain price.

A future groom (who is a responsible, reasonable and trustworthy legal adult) asks the father of his future bride (a mature, legal and a reasonable grown-up who know she wants from life) for a permission to marry and love his daughter.

What’s wrong with this story?

Our parents shouldn’t be allowed to dictate the course of our lives. And none of that “I know what’s best for you” bu*shit. Your parents will always wish you all the best, but let’s get one thing straight.

Marriage is a sacred institution between two individuals who love and respect each other.

And as far as I know, third parties aren’t allowed. In fact, they are banned.

So, when it comes to that final moment of saying “Yes” to sharing a lifetime together, the father shouldn’t be the one who has the final word.

A blessing, on the other hand, is much more acceptable than begging for a permission to marry the woman you love with all of your heart. But, no one except the bride and the groom should have the liberty to decide whether they are made for each other or not.

Let’s stop behaving old-fashioned. Instead of following the general wedding traditions that treat the woman as a f*cking nobody, let’s try to end the discrimination and respect the equality in the relationship.

The only person who is responsible for the woman is herself. No, it’s not her father or her parents. If you want to marry that girl, find the courage and ask her. Marriage is an important part of our life that should be discussed between the partners, way before it’s announced to the family.

Because you are the one who says Yes to spending the mornings with your partner, not your father. You are the one who says Yes to raising the children with your husband, not your family. You are the one who says Yes to sharing a life together, not your parents.

So, let’s stop cut this foolish tradition once and for all, shall we? The last time I checked, it was the 21st century. You know, where men and women are actually teammates and equal partners who know exactly what’s best for them.


Stephanie Reeds