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Forgiving Doesn’t Always Mean Giving A Second Chance

Forgiving Doesn’t Always Mean Giving A Second Chance

Hey you.

Yes, you. The one whose eyes are filled with tears, the one whose heart aches with sadness. You, who cover your scars and carry that heavy load on your shoulders. You who crave true love and believe in the good in people. You, who are broken inside. You, who are sick and tired of being taken for granted…

It’s okay. I know how it feels.

It’s hard to find the strength to forgive someone who hurt you and move on with your life, I know it is. But it is even harder to bottle up your anger and let it consume every part of you. Believe me. I’ve been through it all. And it doesn’t go away with time. When anger is left to fester, it eventually becomes bitterness. It just keeps building up and building up until one day you no longer have the strength to hold it in…. And you let it burst out of you.

Is that a life that you want to live?

Get it through your head. Pain and anger are not emotions that just fade away. You need to attend to your feelings, identify their roots, express them, embrace them and then let them go. That’s how the healing process begins…

But the most important part of the process and perhaps the hardest is making peace with the people who have hurt you. I know it feels scary and I know it’s the last thing that you want to do, but there is no moving on without it.

Forgiving those who wronged you is an essential part of growing.

Now, I know what you are thinking… I know how you are feeling…

You could never even imagine yourself confronting the person who broke your heart and say “I forgive you”, let alone really do it. You could never ever find that strength within you and look that person in the eyes… And I understand that. I absolutely do. I am on your side. I wouldn’t do it either. I wouldn’t feel safe letting someone who treated me bad come near me once again. I would be terrified.

Forgiving Doesn’t Always Mean Giving A Second Chance

But you know what?

Forgiving has nothing to do with giving someone a second chance.

You don’t have to let the people who hurt you know that you’ve forgiven them. You don’t need to meet them, or talk to them or even approach them in order to do so. You can simply choose to forgive them in your heart. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. For that is the only way the healing will start.

Of course, doing that is not blaming yourself. And it certainly doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you believe what they did to you was ok. It just means that you are finally mature and wise enough to change your response to the whole situation for your own sake and wellbeing.

So, choose to forgive. Let it all out. Let your emotions flow freely. Let your soul heal.

Forgiving doesn’t mean letting someone back into your life. Forgiving is liberating yourself from everything that no longer serves you in any way…

Stephanie Reeds