Dear ex-partner, ex-companion, ex-lover…
I cried for a long time after you left. I suffered and struggled to get it all together. I felt lost and confused. Abandoned when I need your support the most. I felt weak and unworthy. I felt shattered and empty. As if my whole world was destroyed. You have no idea how much you’ve hurt me. You used my vulnerability and my love for you to get what you want and then when you got bored, you threw me away. You got rid of me in a blink of an eye and destroyed everything good we shared like it meant nothing to you.
Thinking back, maybe I really didn’t. Maybe I was the one living the illusion that we had something worth saving and fighting for. Maybe I was the one silly enough to fall in love with someone like you and go so far out on a limb with my feeling… Maybe I was the fool in love and you were just there taking advantage of me…
My point was… You treat me badly.
But you know what? It’s been a long time and I am no longer the same person I was back then. I am no longer that naïve, hurt little girl with tears in her eyes. I grew up. And I realized that you hurting and abandoning me only made me stronger. That heartbreak right then and there, that disappointment, that pain I felt was actually the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I know I sound crazy, but thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. A million times more.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for hurting me. Thank you for treating me badly. Thank you for leaving me the way you did. Thank you for being the reason behind my tears. Thank you for every little thing that you did to break me.
You really did. But that only helped me become the person I am today.
Without that emotionally traumatizing, gut-wrenching, and life-changing experience with you, I wouldn’t have become who I am now. God only knows where my path would have taken me if decided to stay with me. I would have probably been right there with you pretending that we love each other and justifying your toxic actions. Convincing myself that everything you do is out of love for me.
You leaving me knocked sense into my head.
And I am truly thankful for that.
You abandoning me helped me see things clearly for the first time in my life. You choosing to hurt me in the way that you did only gave me the answers that I had spent my entire life searching for them.
Love does exist. But it always begins with ourselves.
So, thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes. Thank you for helping me understand the nature of some people. Thank you for teaching me life’s most important lessons. But most of all, thank you for reminding me that I deserve much more.