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How to Find a Good Marriage Counselor That Will Solve All Your Problems

Marriage counseling can make or break your marriage. You cannot go wrong with a marriage counselor. Learn how to find a good marriage counselor here.

They say happy wife, happy life. They also say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

All cliches aside, divorce rates are high, so everyone in a relationship has to put their ideals aside to work together. A happy and successful marriage only happens when you put your heads and hearts together to make it work.

Knowing how to find a good marriage counselor is the first step. Here are all the ways you can get the best marriage counselor possible.

Find Someone That Has Training and Qualifications

Any marriage counselor should have qualifications that are easy to verify.

You can get advice from anyone, but a marriage counselor should be a licensed and trained therapist. Verify first what college degrees they have and where they received them.

Ask them when they passed their medical boards and how long they have had their counseling license. The longer they have been around giving professional counseling to married couples, the better they will be in a place for you to trust them.

Be Sure That They Have the Ability to Be Impartial

No one wants to feel like they are under attack. Since you are going to a counselor to make your relationship better, it has to be a safe place for both of you.

Don’t choose a therapist that choose one side or the other. Also, don’t choose a counselor that doesn’t put the success of the marriage as the top priority.

Some therapists lean toward helping people figure out if they want a divorce as opposed to the success of the marriage. Divorce should always be on the table for a failed marriage, but an impartial therapist can help you work on the strategies that will actually help to save the relationship.

Look Into Some Different Counseling Styles

Just because marriage counselors are in the same line of work doesn’t mean they go about business the same way. There are all sorts of counseling styles that professionals use.

Psychodynamic counseling, existential therapy, humanistic counseling, interpersonal counseling, mindfulness counseling, and cognitive behavioral therapy are just a few of the styles that you might get.

No school of thought is right or wrong. The thing to think about is which style fits your personality and the relationship.

A different counseling style might also work better based on your relationship goals.

Know What You Need to Get Out of Going to the Marriage Counselor

There are always different reasons for going to the counselor. It’s always a good idea to get therapy, even if you don’t have anything currently wrong that you need to work through. This will teach you how to communicate with each other and will also make it easier to understand one another.

If you do have a major problem that you need to work through, you should state the specific goal. People that are dealing with infidelity or parenting differences should specifically state these issues so that they can start working through the problems one by one.

The better you know yourselves upfront, the better you can move forward as a couple through some solid counseling.

Assess Their Personality and Communication Styles

Therapists are also human beings so don’t just put all of your stock in their medical experience. You still need to find someone that is friendly and easy to talk to.

Energetically, they should put you at ease every time you speak with them. Their personality traits should match both what you and your husband or wife respond to. This way, you can start your sessions at neutral, rather than in the negative because your counselor’s personality already rubs you or the other partner the wrong way.

Use a Counselor That You Can Afford

Make sure that affordability is something that you put as a priority.

Going to the counselor is something that you will have to do once a week at a minimum if you want it to be effective. This is another bill that you will have to add to your living expenses.

If every counseling session costs $50 to $100, you need to be sure that it isn’t an issue for you to swing it. If one or both of you has health insurance that covers counseling, definitely find a therapist that is in your network.

Think About Any Spiritual or Religious Beliefs

The bonding and unity of your marriage is also a spiritual thing. You need to be sure that your counselor matches your spiritual beliefs.

If you both have a strong faith leaning, then perhaps choose a counselor that is also faith-based. If you’re atheist, you wouldn’t want a counselor that can’t see past their own spiritual beliefs.

Make this decision early so you can feel good in your heart about who you are hiring.

Ask About Their Own Personal Relationships

How is your counselor’s relationship?

Don’t feel that this is an intrusive question. You don’t need to pry into their personal business, but it is fair for you to want to know if your counselor currently has a successful marriage.

It doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker for you. But seeing if they are able to apply their expertise in real life can be helpful in choosing a counselor.

How to Find a Good Marriage Counselor

Knowing how to find a good marriage counselor will help your relationship. Choose a counselor to help your marriage before it becomes too late.

Family and relationships are important, so look around at all the content we have to help.

The Unbearable Pain Of Trying To Forget Someone You Never Even Had

I Am Not Looking For ‘Almost’; I Am Looking For Forever

Last night, it happened again. I couldn’t fall asleep because I was thinking of you. I don’t even know why you are still on my mind. I promised myself that we are over and that I will move on, but somehow, I can’t. I’ve spent so much time looking down at my phone, hoping to see your name on my screen. I was missing you so much that I didn’t realize that I was losing myself in the process and letting myself down.

When I first met you, you were the light in my life. I had so much faith in us and our future together. I never thought we would ever grow distant. But we did. And it was brutal. It was one of the most painful breakups I have ever had even though we were never officially together.

And do you know how difficult it is for me to explain this to someone? How can I tell someone that I am grieving over someone I never even had? I spent many months with you, and when you were not with me, you were in my mind. We were texting and talking constantly. I shared everything with you. But, slowly, it all started to fade away until we stopped seeing each other entirely.

And what pains me the most is the fact that we could have been great together. We could have built something lasting. I believed in us. I believed in you. I fought for us and our connection, but I stopped when I realized that I was fighting alone.

The hurt from losing you is not any less just because we were not in a relationship. I loved you. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally invested in you. I enjoyed spending time with you that I ignored everything you said when you told me you didn’t want a relationship. And perhaps that’s where I made a mistake. Perhaps my hope that one day we will be together screwed me up.

How could I be so dumb? I am here, writing about you, thinking of you, losing sleep at night because of you while you are probably out there, dating and sleeping with someone else. You are with another girl while I am here still hurting while trying to get you out of my head and my heart.

I was looking for forever. I was looking for love and commitment and you involved me in a friend with benefits situation. I knew I didn’t deserve it but still, it was hard to let you go.

Now, a few months passed since we last kissed and held hands. I still talk to you from time to time, just so we make sure we are okay, and I see you around in town sometimes. We hug, we greet, we ask each other cliché questions. Our connection is lost and we both know that. And we are not trying to rekindle the fire that once burnt between us.

I wish you well, of course. But now I know what I want and what I deserve. And I am sorry that I couldn’t get it with you.

Remember, Apologies Don’t Mean Anything – Actions Do.

Don’t say you are sorry for treating me badly and then going back to treating me the same way. Your apology doesn’t count if your behavior towards me remains unchanged. It’s empty and meaningless. And it is not a reflection on your maturity, because real maturity comes from recognizing your flaws and correcting them.

I will never feel guilty for walking away from you because you have hurt me. Yes, you apologized and said you regret doing so. But you did it again. And again. And again. You kept hurting me and that is something I won’t allow anymore. Everyone has permission to walk away from someone who continues hurting them.

If someone has my best intentions at heart and really loves me, then they will correct their toxic behavior because they wouldn’t want to see me in pain.

Of course, they won’t be perfect and flawless, but they are going to be willing to work on the things that are harming our relationship. Because there is a great difference between a toxic partner who is unwilling to change and someone who has good intentions and they love you but sometimes make minor unintentional mistakes.

Because there are people who were apologizing to me just because they knew that that’s what I wanted to hear, and they thought it was the easiest way out. Yes, their apology might have been sincere, but it turned out that they only treated me better for a short period of time and they ended up going back to their old ways.

This is a common tactic of emotional manipulators. They act like they are sorry for how they treated you because they want to lure you in their life again. Therefore, they sweet-talk you and give you an illusion that they are changed until you put down your guard and then they go back to being a**holes.

So, be careful when you accept apologies. Only give people second chances if you really believe that they are capable of working on themselves and bettering themselves. Don’t lower your standards and forget about your needs just so that you can have an excuse for keeping someone in your life. Don’t hurt yourself like that.

And remember, apologies don’t mean anything – actions do!

Therefore, don’t feel bad about walking away from someone who is not deserving of your time, love, and energy.

This Is Me, Giving Up On You And Finally Moving On To Something Better

I watched you how easily you made promises and I watched you break them all with the same easiness. I watched you tell lies and expecting me to believe them. I watched you burn all the bridges that I’ve built for our relationship to turn into something real. I also watched you turn into the coldest person I know while I was there, giving you all the love and warmth that I had for you.

And I stayed. I stayed through all the bullshit. I always found strength in my heart to forgive you because I was terrified of letting you go.

I believed in ‘us’ so much that I forgot about myself. I held onto you for so long, wishing and hoping that things will change. I trusted you with all my heart because I believed that you loved me too and that this rough phase will soon pass, and we will be happy together.

But, you only made me watch you break promises. You only made me believe that love is just a temporary feeling and it passes away. You forced me to see that staying with a person who makes you wonder where you stand with them is a complete waste of time.

And now, this is me – finally giving up on you and choosing myself.

This is me giving up on you because I realized that I have no future with you and that I deserve to have someone who will happily plan a future with me. I am walking away from you because I am finally done walking on eggshells trying to make you happy while you were taking me for granted and treated me as if I were disposable.

I am finally done dealing with your selfishness and emotional immaturity. I am not giving you another chance this time.

This time, I will focus on loving myself and giving love only to those people who love me back and put an effort and energy into our relationship.

This is me, telling you that you are no longer the love of my life. This is me, telling you that you are not allowed back into my life because I won’t let you ruin my happiness again and mess with my life.

This is me, saying my final goodbye and this time I don’t look forward to seeing you. Our paths will cross here, and I will never look back.

And I know that this is the best decision I’ve ever made.

Don’t Take Rejection Personally: It Can Be A Blessing In Disguise To Start Searching For Someone Better

Don’t Take Rejection Personally: It Can Be A Blessing In Disguise To Start Searching For Someone Better

When someone says that you are not the right person for them or that they would want to move forward with their life without you in it you can do a lot of things. You can certainly start crying and yelling or you can try throwing your phone at them.

But don’t. First, because your phone is more valuable than they are at the moment and second because you should respect their decision. 

Peacefully accepting that someone had a change of heart is the most grown-up thing you can do. You respect yourself by showing that you understand the decision and you do yourself a favor when you walk away.

You take a deep breath, you smile, and you accept. And then you move forward.

Accepting the things we wish weren’t true is one of the hardest challenges, but it’s better to accept them sooner than later because otherwise, we’ll be wasting our time and energy. False hope has rotten roots and nothing good can come out of it. 

I mean, realizing that the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with didn’t feel that way about you can certainly crush your ego, but you’ll be thankful for that in the future for you’ll learn how not to let your guard down too soon and you’ll learn so much about self-respect, maturity, and individuality. 

You will learn a thing or two about self-worth and you’ll put yourself first. 

One person’s rejection or approval does not, I repeat, does not define your whole life. Your talents, your personality, your achievements. 

You are a special cookie and you’ll find someone who is going to love you for you and you’ll feel it in your gut that they are the right one for you. As humans, we have a way of sensing those things.

If that person decided that you are not right for each other, then you need to stop idealizing the relationship you had with them because obviously, that relationship wasn’t perfect. Far from it.

When you in a relationship some feelings should be mutual. If someone decided to be honest with you and set you free, take that chance to get out of there, slam the door to the past, and seal it. 

You may not find love when you’ll be looking for it. It may take months, years, but it’s better to search for that person who will be happy to have you – alone.

Holding grudges never helped anyone because everyone is just trying to find happiness for themselves. So, don’t take rejection personally. You’ve probably rejected someone or something yourself down the road because it wasn’t what you needed at the time.

True, right? Well, you get my point. Now cheer up and make use of what you already have in front of you. The right person for you will pop up when you least expect them and it will feel right.

You Don’t Need An Online Approval To Be Happy In Your Relationship

Oh, good old dating days… Good old days of love, affection, physical closeness, real values, and true happiness. How I miss those. How I crave those.

It was different back then. People were happier. Relationships were simpler. Love was more genuine. Life was easier.

I consider myself truly lucky to be a part of the last generation that actually valued love over everything. The generation that had real values. The generation that didn’t need to be validated by anyone. The generation that knew what real love means.

Today, we live in a completely different world. All of those things are in the past now…

Nowadays, people are obsessed with sharing their lives on social media. It is the only thing that brings them joy. Or so it seems.  They feel like if they don’t show their partner or share the bits of their relationship on social media, they will be instantly accused of avoiding commitment and hiding their love life. As if Facebook and Instagram were real measures of one’s happiness. It is hilarious.

Just one wrong move in the online world and you can be immediately be charged with not being “the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend”. It doesn’t take much. Just forget to post a photo of your vacation or simply don’t share an anniversary status with the world, and you are done.

I repeat. Done.

Why? Tell me, why do we need to be constantly validated by society?

Isn’t our own validation, our own approval, our own opinion enough?

And if it isn’t, I dare to ask once more. WHY?

You don’t need an online approval of your love life or your life, in general. Social media might be a good place for exchanging information, ideas, and opinions. And that’s it. Nothing more. Social media should not measure the success or the longevity of your relationship. Your partner not posting photos of you on a regular basis or not sharing love posts with you shouldn’t make you doubt them. The only thing that you should care about is their behavior when they are with you.

Your relationship is not a movie for others to see. It is not something that should disclose to the general public. Your intimacy is reserved only for you and your partner. No one else.

And also… What good can come off sharing your entire life on social media when you have no clue what tomorrow might bring? What if you break up? What if one day you wake up and realize that you no longer love that person?

What will you do then? You’ll delete all those posts and photos and pretend like nothing ever happened until the next person comes along, sweeps you off your feet and you start sharing another love story online?

Excuse me, but that’s just sad. Your relationship is not a romantic movie. It is real life. It is happening right here and right now. And it concerns you and your partner. Not your friends. Not your family. And especially not your followers.

So, here’s a wild idea.

What do you say you stop obsessing so much about what your relationship looks online and start focusing on how your relationship looks in real life?

True happiness is found only in togetherness. In respecting, loving, trusting, and cherishing one another.  In being there for one another and spending your life in each other’s company. In talking about the things that startle you, sharing your plans, daydreaming, supporting each other’s goals, listening to each other’s opinions, and simply enjoying your life together. In paying attention. In living in the present moment… In valuing and protecting your intimacy.

So, don’t let this society fool you. You don’t need an online approval to be happy in your relationship.

All you need is love.

Women Who Don’t Love Themselves Tend To Have Trust Issues

Women who don’t love themselves have trouble trusting someone because they cannot see why anyone would want to be with them and what they see in them.

When they discover that someone has a crush on them, they immediately think that they have hidden motives. They think they are leading them on, that they are playing them. They think the person who is interested in them is lying to them only to hook up with them and then leave.

They question everyone’s good intentions because it is so difficult for them to open up and trust that someone will love them because they don’t even love themselves.

Even when they are in a serious relationship, they are not calm. They easily get anxious when their partner goes out with friends and comes home late or forgets to return their call. They also feel insecure and not good enough almost every time a good-looking woman passes by. They worry because they think their partner will leave them for someone better.

And it does not matter how good the person is and how much they promise they are never going to hurt them – these women are still going to look out for red flags and signs of lying and betrayal. They can literally be their own worst enemy.

Women who don’t love themselves don’t trust other people as well because they cannot see the beauty and the goodness that lies within them. They only see their flaws and mistakes. They think they are unlovable and therefore when someone shows they love them; they are not sure what to do. Their first instinct is to escape because they think they are going to end up hurt and betrayed.

That’s why it can take some time before they start opening their heart and trusting again. They must first learn how to love themselves and accept them as they are. They must learn their value and trust that they deserve love and good things. And they deserve someone who will be patient with them and will stay with them on their path towards self-love.

The Right One Will Enter Your Life When You Are Living It As If You Are The Love Of It

The Right One Will Enter Your Life

The “right” one… Many of us are still looking to find that person with whom we will spend our life. The one who will be our friend, lover, confidant, our biggest supporter, the one who always motivates us, is kind to us, and loves us with all their heart. The one whose soul is as our soul.

But, what if “the one” never comes? What if you were able to look at your future and see that you won’t find true love ever? What then? What would you do differently in your life? What choices you would make?

Yes, I know that if you are like me, probably that information won’t change anything crucial because your life is not influenced by someone’s presence or absence thereof. The mere idea that I will meet my soulmate and then everything will fall into place didn’t stop me from loving myself and focusing on living my best life. Because I realized that I am already a whole person and I deserve to create the life I want to be living regardless of whether I am with someone or not.

I pay my own bills, I love my job, I have many hobbies and friends, I travel a lot, and I spend my free time learning new things and growing as a person. I put more effort into appreciating the relationships I already have in my life, the ones with my friends and family and I enjoy spending time with them.

I was raised to believe that my goal in life should be finding love, getting married, and having children. But, having broken free from that belief was the ultimate liberation for me. When I stopped being scared of ending up alone, many windows of opportunities opened up for me. I mean, I could live anywhere I want in the world, get the degree I always wanted to have, travel to the places I always wanted to visit and not worry whether my decisions will affect someone else’s life. Because sometimes, love, as wonderful as it is, can hold us back from doing the things we want.

When we stop looking to find the love of our lives, we have all the time in the world to focus on ourselves and become our own loves. We can pamper ourselves, challenge ourselves, and build ourselves up to the best version of ourselves. We can become our own soulmates.

Stop waiting and searching for “the one.” If it’s meant to find them, it will happen. Until then, focus on yourself and live your life freely, confidently, as you are the love of it. Instead of waiting for “the one” – be “the one” for yourself!

You’re Not A Real Man If You’re Stringing Her Along And Wasting Her Time

If you are not ready to make her your priority, leave her alone. Don’t waste her time. Don’t make her an option. Don’t chase her and try to manipulate her by making her feel like what you two have is real. Don’t play mind games. Don’t use her so that you can feel better about yourself after breaking up with your ex. She doesn’t deserve to be a rebound; not to you, not to anyone.

If you are not ready to be in a committed relationship, don’t string her along. Don’t try to know her better. Don’t make her feel close to you. Don’t open up to her and have her open up to you as well if you are not ready to respect her and her feelings. If you are not ready to love her, don’t make her fall in love with you. It is cruel.

If she is not your first choice, don’t try to get her back when she distances from you. Don’t try to fool her with your fake words and promises to keep her in your life. That’s selfish. Don’t kiss her and hold her hand if you are not planning to love her the real way.

If you are not ready to be with her, just leave. Walk away from her and let her find her happiness elsewhere. Don’t act jealous when you see her with someone else. Don’t try to get her back only to treat her like an option again.

 First Choice

If you are not willing to make her yours, stop wasting her time. Don’t half-love her. Don’t lie to her. Just leave because she doesn’t need half-you. She needs a mature and whole person beside her. Someone she can count on. Someone she can love and who will love her more than anything.

Leave her alone if you are not ready to be with her because she will leave you when she realizes that you are stringing her along. She will leave you when she realized that your presence feels the same as your absence and that she is better off alone.

This woman is the kind of woman who is looking for real love and commitment. She believes in being faithful and committed to one person. She is someone who loves hard and deep. She wants all or nothing.

Therefore, if you are having second thoughts about her, always choose to leave her. She will be grateful for that.

6 wedding blessings, prayers, and readings you will love

The order of the wedding is one that is meticulously planned, to make the day a fulfilled one. But while planning, three essentials must be present — wedding blessings, wedding prayer and wedding readings. These three items each have their importance to the couple, and you have to get it right. While you can borrow already made ones, there’s also space for leaving your touch, by writing your own.

Whichever choice you make, see our lineup of prayers, readings, and wedding blessing ideas below. If you are the hopelessly romantic type, you’ll also find unique wedding poems for your delight. They are either religious, romantic or traditional to suit your preference!

The Wedding Readings

Wedding blessing readings are sweet and heartfelt words that distill your relationship. Readings are sourced from different materials like the holy book, literature, movies, music and more. They can also be written by you if you intend to personalize it. With this, we’ve rounded up examples of wedding readings. Get inspired, whip out the cute diary from your bride’s box, and put something down.

  1. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down,

one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

  1. By Rumi

May these vows and this marriage be blessed.

May it be like sweet milk,

this marriage, like wine and halvah.

May this marriage offer fruit and shade

like the date palm.

May this marriage be full of laughter,

our every day a day in paradise.

May this marriage be a sign of compassion,

a seal of happiness here and hereafter.

May this marriage have a fair face and good name,

an omen as welcome,

as the moon in a clear blue sky.

I am out of words to describe

how spirit mingles in this marriage.

 

The Marriage Blessings

Marriage blessings are more-or-less wedding wishes to the couple. The bulk of them is religious and traditional because they are well-grounded for generations. If you’re coming through wedding blessings quotes or texts, see some suggestions here.

  1. From The Church of England

Blessed are you, O Lord our God,

for you have created joy and gladness,

pleasure and delight, love, peace, and fellowship.

Pour out the abundance of your blessing upon the bride and groom in their new life together.

Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts

and a crown upon their heads.

Bless them in their work and in their companionship;

awake and asleep,

in joy and in sorrow,

in life and in death.

Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that banquet

where your saints feast forever in your heavenly home.

We ask this through Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, now and forever. Amen.

  1. By Dave Willis

May your marriage always bring glory to God, joy to one another and blessings to your family for many generations to come. May love and laughter fill your hearts and your home for all at the days of your lives. May you face every challenge hand-in-hand and side-by-side knowing that with God’s grace, you’ll conquer all obstacles together. May the world be forever a better place because the two of you fell in love. In Jesus’ name, Amen

The Wedding Prayers

Prayer for the wedding ceremony is the blessing of your union. This is very important if you intend to honor your faith and connect it to something spiritual. Wedding prayers are full of positivity and suit any wedding. They aren’t always religious, as you’ll see below.

  1. By Max Lucado

Would you take these two,

of dust and bone,

Born of flesh, then you,

Would you make them one?

Would you speak again

The words you spoke

When Adam slept

And Eve awoke?

Would you let your wine

Replace our water.

And look with grace

On this son, this daughter?

Oh Lord of Eden

In your majesty

Create again

Your tapestry

One heart

Where there were two.

This is the prayer

We lift to you. 

  1. By Robert Louis Stevenson

Lord, behold our family here assembled.

We thank you for this place in which we dwell,

for the love that unites us,

for the peace accorded us this day,

for the hope with which we expect the morrow,

for the health, the work, the food,

and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;

for our friends in all parts of the earth.

Wedding blessings, prayers, and readings have been given in this post. Borrow or use them as templates for your wedding.

Kindness Makes Everyone Beautiful No Matter What They Look Like

Kindness Makes Everyone Beautiful No Matter What They Look Like

Kind people are the most beautiful looking ones. Their kindness shines through them and makes this world a better place.

Here are 7 ways how to be kind to yourself and to others.

1. LET GO OF YOUR BAGGAGE

Your past baggage can hold you back and stop your inner light from shining through. We’ve all experienced hardships and pain, but the important thing is that we heal ourselves and start a new life.

2. STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE

You are beautiful inside and out. After all, physical beauty is faltering, what matters is what we carry inside ourselves. A good and kind soul is the most beautiful thing in the world.

3. KEEP A HEALTHY SELF-IMAGE

Accept your flaws. No one is perfect. Love yourself for who you are. Love your body, your face, your hair, your kind heart, your loving soul!

4. HAVE FUN

Be yourself. Have fun. Go out with your friends. Dance. Have a drink. Go to a movie. Go skiing. Have a good time doing what you love.

5. BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Being good to yourself is essential for your happiness. You can’t have meaningful connections with others if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. Focus on yourself. Eat healthy. Drink water. Take a vacation. Go on spa weekend. Pamper yourself.

6. STOP OVERTHINKING

Let things unfold naturally. Don’t rush anything. Don’t worry about things that may or may not happen in the future. Overthinking won’t help you. Just have faith, stay calm, and believe in yourself.

7. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART

Your heart is always talking to you. You should have courage to listen to it and follow its advice. Your heart knows what’s best for you.

And when you are in tune with your heart and mind and at peace with yourself, your aura will change and you’ll attract positive and beautiful things into your life.

We Outgrow People Who Are Unable To Love Us The Right Way

We Outgrow People Who Are Unable To Love Us The Right Way

The reality is, we outgrow people who are not true and genuine with us. Those who are not honest. Those who say things we want to hear but never take action to prove them. Those who don’t give a damn about our needs and desires because they only care about their own. Those who expect us to accept them the way they are but are busy changing us and shaping us into the people they want us to be.

We outgrow people who don’t respect us and don’t appreciate us. Those who are fine regardless of whether they have us in their lives. Those who make us feel worthless and replaceable.

We Outgrow People Who Are Unable To Love Us The Right Way

We outgrow people who make us beg for their time and attention. People who make us feel like we are not worthy of them. People who put us last on their list of priorities. Those who never have time for us.

Because we reach a point of no return. When we remind ourselves of our worth and what we deserve, we will not be selling short ourselves ever again. We will turn out back to those people and walk away. We won’t be giving them our hearts and energy to someone who takes us for granted.

We are choosing ourselves. We are practicing self-love.

Because we don’t have time for people who don’t invest in us. We outgrow those who treat us as ordinary. Those who keep us around until they find what they are looking for.

We outgrow people who are unable to love us the way we deserve to be loved. Those who don’t contribute to our lives in any way. Those who make us question our self-worth.

We outgrow people who are not scared of losing us because they have never seen our value and they never will.

 

I am currently writing my first book titled Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a  free chapter after we publish it.

8 Things You Should Remember Whenever You Feel Broken Inside

broken inside

Life is a series of ups and downs. And when you’ve been down for so long and you are slowly falling into the dark abyss of despair, sadness, and hopelessness, please remember this:

1. Remember that your cracks will allow light to come in.

If your heart doesn’t break from time to time, then there wouldn’t be a place for the light to enter your life. Sometimes, all it takes is a painful, heart-crushing experience to remind up that we are alive. You must get broken first to be able to see and appreciate all the goodness in the world and transform yourself into a better and stronger human being. It’s not easy, and it wasn’t supposed to be easy. But you will make it and then a new door of opportunities will open for you.

2. Remember to embrace your feelings instead of fighting them.

Instead of fighting your bad emotions, try embracing them. They are what make you human. Crying, screaming, falling down to your knees in despair are all strong emotions and it is better to let them out instead of bottling them because eventually, someday they will backfire on you. Feel everything. Feel your emotions. Don’t run from them. Emotions are a vital part of the healing process and life in general.

3. Remember your “WHY”.

Whenever you feel insufficient, broken, let down, exhausted… keep remembering yourself and your purpose in life. Remind yourself about your goals and dreams. Always keep your “why” in mind and remember, every negative situation will only provide you with new perspectives and opportunities. Negative experiences are also valuable experiences, sometimes more valuable than positive ones if you are willing to learn from them.

4. Remember that your friends and family are there for you.

When you feel down and broken inside, please remember that you can always count on your family and friends for support. They will comfort you when you need them and help you find your strength again.  

5. Remember that you are not your feelings.

Remember that you don’t own your feelings and your feelings don’t own you. They don’t define you. They are only temporary, and they will pass. Happiness, sadness, excitement, pain… it all passes eventually. You are so much more than your feelings, remember that.

6. Remember the things that exist beyond your brokenness.

Just because you are in pain, it doesn’t mean that all the good things in the world ceased to exist. Remember that no matter how much darkness you are experiencing now, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Many beautiful and good things are waiting for you around the corner. Just be patient.

7. Remember the things that make you happy and focus on them.

Often, when you feel broken inside, you focus your attention only on the things that bring you pain and despair and you forget to remember all the things that make you happy. You forget the beauty of going for a walk, chatting with your friends, enjoying your cup of coffee, riding your bike, reading a book… anything that makes your soul sing with joy. Try to heal your heart by enjoying the littlest things in life.

8. Remember that pain is temporary.

Everything passes. Everything is temporary. Pain as well. Therefore, don’t take it too seriously. Try to see your pain as heroic. See it as something that has taught you many life lessons and shaped you in the person you are today.

Maybe Some Things Will Happen Only After We Learn How To Stop Comparing Ourselves To Others

Don’t Waste Yourself Loving Someone From Afar: You Deserve The Real Thing

You cannot force life to happen to you. You cannot force getting a better job, fall in love, or even harder yet, get someone else to fall in love with you.

You cannot force getting more money and going on that trip you’ve been planning for months. But, what you can do is stop stewing alone and take every adventure as it comes your way.

Never underestimate the power of new friendships, parties, theatre plays, mountain hikes, or new hobbies. Those things can lift you up just as much as anything else you daydream about. Because those things broaden your horizons and they make you enjoy your time here on Earth.

Everything will fall into place. Sometimes, when you least expect it, all the missing pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. Effortlessly.

The best thing to do is wait and make good use of the time ahead of you.

You better take your time to discover what is it you want before you lose everything else trying to chase goals imposed by society.

Goals that aren’t necessarily yours. Timing which isn’t necessarily yours and yet you chase it for the sake of fitting in. For the sake of conforming to other people’s expectations and standards.

Live your life the way you want to live it and in case you still haven’t fulfilled all your dreams, don’t stress about it. You are not lagging behind. We all walk down a different road and our life events cannot be synchronized.

I mean, just because every one of your friends is in a relationship, or married, or has children, it doesn’t mean that you have to rush to do those things as well.

We are the happiest when love and success surprise us, take us by storm. When they are unforced and spontaneous. We are the happiest when we do our thing; when we live life until life of another form happens to us.

I know you compare yourself to other people, but that’s not a realistic comparison.

You compare yourself to the image of them. You don’t compare yourself to that actual, ordinary, fallible person, but to their Instagram profile. And I know that you want to stop comparing yourself to others, and I know that’s easier said than done.

But trust me, there is a tremendous difference between people on social media and the people behind it.

We are all fragile.  We like to look better, more successful, more in love than we are. It’s all just smoke and mirrors. If you put social media aside for a while, if you look at the people through different lenses you’ll see yourself: with the same insecurities, doubts, dreams, cravings, and plans. Just different timing.

So stop chasing vapor. Focus on what’s already there and trust that you’ll get everything you want and need in life, if only you let loose and let life take its course.

We don’t dictate the order of events, but we do dictate our happiness, our perspective, our mindset. Remember, what you see and what’s real is not always the same.

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I Don’t Give A Damn About Other People Anymore. I Am Focusing On Me

I Am Focusing On Me

I am slowly realizing that I stopped thinking twice about people who don’t give a damn about me. I am not putting in any effort for someone who doesn’t deserve me. Period.

Before, I was doing the opposite. I was giving my time and energy to all the wrong people. I was doing everything for someone who couldn’t bother to even ask me about my day. I was there for people who when I needed them, they turned me down and walked away.

Now I know better. I will no longer waste my love on unhealthy relationships with people who don’t love me back. I will no longer hope that they will change their mind and fall in love with me after they see how wonderful I am. I am done with that. Those toxic relationships nearly killed me. Every time the person on the other end of the relationship will use my good nature and then toss me like a used mop after they get bored or find a new victim.

I am done. I will never make someone a priority in my life when it is clear that I am not a priority in theirs. The truth is, I am exhausted from always giving all of me to someone who took me for granted and leaving myself feeling empty and drained. I realize that I don’t want to live a life like that and therefore I am changing my old ways.

I Don’t Give A Damn About Other People Anymore. I Am Focusing On Me

I will be the real me without caring whether someone likes me or not. I will not follow any dumb rule made up by someone who wanted things to be easier for them. It is not easier for me, so I am not doing it. From this moment on, I will do things my way.

I will no longer conceal my feelings because they are not something I should be ashamed of. I will express them when I feel like it. I won’t hide my soft heart under a hard and cold exterior just because someone thinks that’s the way to not get your heart broken.

Well, if I get hurt, okay. I will get over it. What I won’t get over, however, is not living my life the way my heart tells me to just because I am scared what other people will think of me.

I will cry when I am sad and smile when I am happy. I won’t pretend I am okay when I am not. I don’t give a f*ck anymore.

I stopped giving a damn about things over which I don’t have control. If someone doesn’t care about me, why should I care about them? I am cutting off anyone who doesn’t make me happy or doesn’t bring meaning into my life.

Because, the thing is, I worked hard for everything that I am and everything I have. I am working hard every day to become the best version of myself. I have goals. I have dreams. I know where I want to be. I am not a lost and naïve soul one can decide to screw over and walk away.

I realize now that I am surrounded by manipulators and emotional abusers who lack the emotional capacity to care about anyone, including themselves. They are there to hurt people and I won’t let them hurt me anymore. I will stay away from their toxicity and not let them anywhere near me. I am done with their toxic bullshit.

I am also done pretending I am okay when I am not. If someone makes me feel like shit, I won’t stay silent. I will speak up and put them in their place.

And I won’t forgive them. I am done giving second chances to people who keep on disappointing me. Some people don’t deserve second chances. Some people don’t deserve forgiveness. They deserve to stay in the past where they belong.

And I am okay with that. I finally realized I don’t give a f*ck anymore. I care about myself now and my own growth and healing.