A real man always puts his lady first. He always treats her with love and respect. She is the priority in his life.
Here are some quotes about how real men treat their ladies.
“Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic: you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.” –Jerry Seinfeld
“You spend time with your family?” Good. Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.” –Don Vito Corleone, The Godfather
“A real man won’t date the most beautiful girl in the world – he’ll date the girl that makes his world beautiful.” – Anonymous
“A real man loves his wife, and places his family as the most important thing in life. Nothing has brought me more peace and content in life than simply being a good husband and father.” –Frank Abagnale
“If you want to be a real human being – a real woman, a real man – you cannot tolerate things which put you to indignation, to outrage. You must stand up. I always say to people, ‘Look around; look at what makes you unhappy, what makes you furious, and then engage yourself in some action.’” – Stephane Hessel
“The real man is one who always finds excuses for others, but never excuses himself.” – Henry Ward Beecher
“You can’t be a real man if you don’t look out for your kids. They need you.” – Bill O’Reilly
“Remember those black-and-white films with Frank Sinatra? Those guys looked like men and they were only 27! Listen to Otis Redding singing ‘Try A Little Tenderness.’ That was a man who understood what a man has to know in the world. Show me a real man now! Where are they?” – Chrissie Hynde
“Having two daughters changed my perspective on a lot of things, and I definitely have a newfound respect for women. And I think I finally became a good and real man when I had a daughter.” – Mark Wahlberg
I watched you how easily you made promises and I watched you break them all with the same easiness. I watched you tell lies and expecting me to believe them. I watched you burn all the bridges that I’ve built for our relationship to turn into something real. I also watched you turn into the coldest person I know while I was there, giving you all the love and warmth that I had for you.
And I stayed. I stayed through all the bullshit. I always found strength in my heart to forgive you because I was terrified of letting you go.
I believed in ‘us’ so much that I forgot about myself. I held onto you for so long, wishing and hoping that things will change. I trusted you with all my heart because I believed that you loved me too and that this rough phase will soon pass, and we will be happy together.
But, you only made me watch you break promises. You only made me believe that love is just a temporary feeling and it passes away. You forced me to see that staying with a person who makes you wonder where you stand with them is a complete waste of time.
And now, this is me – finally giving up on you and choosing myself.
This is me giving up on you because I realized that I have no future with you and that I deserve to have someone who will happily plan a future with me. I am walking away from you because I am finally done walking on eggshells trying to make you happy while you were taking me for granted and treated me as if I were disposable.
I am finally done dealing with your selfishness and emotional immaturity. I am not giving you another chance this time.
This time, I will focus on loving myself and giving love only to those people who love me back and put an effort and energy into our relationship.
This is me, telling you that you are no longer the love of my life. This is me, telling you that you are not allowed back into my life because I won’t let you ruin my happiness again and mess with my life.
This is me, saying my final goodbye and this time I don’t look forward to seeing you. Our paths will cross here, and I will never look back.
And I know that this is the best decision I’ve ever made.
1. Good morning beautiful.
2. You look so lovely when you are sleeping.
3. I love waking up next to you.
4. I hope your day is as beautiful as you.
5. I had a wonderful time with you last night.
6. You’ll be on my thoughts today.
7. Knowing that you are mine makes me so calm and peaceful.
8. I love lying in bed next to you.
9. I can’t wait to see you.
10. I wish we could stay in bed all day and be lazy.
11. Kick ass at work today.
12. You are always, always on my mind.
13. I love hearing your sleepy voice in the morning.
14. I enjoy having my pillows smell like you.
15. When will I see you again?
16. Your presence feels so good.
17. I just love watching you sleep.
18. I hope you slept well.
19. I can’t wait to see you.
20. I am missing your snuggles.
21. Is it normal that I just woke up and I miss you already?
22. Good morning gorgeous.
23. Have a great day, sunshine.
24. I love being with you.
25. I am so happy with you.
26. You are the most beautiful after you wake up.
27. You are the most beautiful woman I know.
28. Everything is better with you by my side.
19. Every morning is a good one when you are next to me.
30. I will love you.
I am currently writing my first book titled “Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a free chapter after we publish it.
The order of the wedding is one that is meticulously planned, to make the day a fulfilled one. But while planning, three essentials must be present — wedding blessings, wedding prayer and wedding readings. These three items each have their importance to the couple, and you have to get it right. While you can borrow already made ones, there’s also space for leaving your touch, by writing your own.
Whichever choice you make, see our lineup of prayers, readings, and wedding blessing ideas below. If you are the hopelessly romantic type, you’ll also find unique wedding poems for your delight. They are either religious, romantic or traditional to suit your preference!
The Wedding Readings
Wedding blessing readings are sweet and heartfelt words that distill your relationship. Readings are sourced from different materials like the holy book, literature, movies, music and more. They can also be written by you if you intend to personalize it. With this, we’ve rounded up examples of wedding readings. Get inspired, whip out the cute diary from your bride’s box, and put something down.
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
- By Rumi
May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be like sweet milk,
this marriage, like wine and halvah.
May this marriage offer fruit and shade
like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter,
our every day a day in paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion,
a seal of happiness here and hereafter.
May this marriage have a fair face and good name,
an omen as welcome,
as the moon in a clear blue sky.
I am out of words to describe
how spirit mingles in this marriage.
The Marriage Blessings
Marriage blessings are more-or-less wedding wishes to the couple. The bulk of them is religious and traditional because they are well-grounded for generations. If you’re coming through wedding blessings quotes or texts, see some suggestions here.
- From The Church of England
Blessed are you, O Lord our God,
for you have created joy and gladness,
pleasure and delight, love, peace, and fellowship.
Pour out the abundance of your blessing upon the bride and groom in their new life together.
Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts
and a crown upon their heads.
Bless them in their work and in their companionship;
awake and asleep,
in joy and in sorrow,
in life and in death.
Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that banquet
where your saints feast forever in your heavenly home.
We ask this through Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord
who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and forever. Amen.
- By Dave Willis
May your marriage always bring glory to God, joy to one another and blessings to your family for many generations to come. May love and laughter fill your hearts and your home for all at the days of your lives. May you face every challenge hand-in-hand and side-by-side knowing that with God’s grace, you’ll conquer all obstacles together. May the world be forever a better place because the two of you fell in love. In Jesus’ name, Amen
The Wedding Prayers
Prayer for the wedding ceremony is the blessing of your union. This is very important if you intend to honor your faith and connect it to something spiritual. Wedding prayers are full of positivity and suit any wedding. They aren’t always religious, as you’ll see below.
- By Max Lucado
Would you take these two,
of dust and bone,
Born of flesh, then you,
Would you make them one?
Would you speak again
The words you spoke
When Adam slept
And Eve awoke?
Would you let your wine
Replace our water.
And look with grace
On this son, this daughter?
Oh Lord of Eden
In your majesty
Where there were two.
This is the prayer
We lift to you.
- By Robert Louis Stevenson
Lord, behold our family here assembled.
We thank you for this place in which we dwell,
for the love that unites us,
for the peace accorded us this day,
for the hope with which we expect the morrow,
for the health, the work, the food,
and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;
for our friends in all parts of the earth.
Wedding blessings, prayers, and readings have been given in this post. Borrow or use them as templates for your wedding.
I am a strong person but I still need love. I need to have someone who will be there for me. Someone who will take my hand and tell me that everything is going to be okay. Someone who will take away all my fears and worries.
I am a strong and independent person, but sometimes I need a loyal person who will hug me and show me the meaning of true love. Someone who will feel like home to me.
Oh, good old dating days… Good old days of love, affection, physical closeness, real values, and true happiness. How I miss those. How I crave those.
It was different back then. People were happier. Relationships were simpler. Love was more genuine. Life was easier.
I consider myself truly lucky to be a part of the last generation that actually valued love over everything. The generation that had real values. The generation that didn’t need to be validated by anyone. The generation that knew what real love means.
Today, we live in a completely different world. All of those things are in the past now…
Nowadays, people are obsessed with sharing their lives on social media. It is the only thing that brings them joy. Or so it seems. They feel like if they don’t show their partner or share the bits of their relationship on social media, they will be instantly accused of avoiding commitment and hiding their love life. As if Facebook and Instagram were real measures of one’s happiness. It is hilarious.
Just one wrong move in the online world and you can be immediately be charged with not being “the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend”. It doesn’t take much. Just forget to post a photo of your vacation or simply don’t share an anniversary status with the world, and you are done.
I repeat. Done.
Why? Tell me, why do we need to be constantly validated by society?
Isn’t our own validation, our own approval, our own opinion enough?
And if it isn’t, I dare to ask once more. WHY?
You don’t need an online approval of your love life or your life, in general. Social media might be a good place for exchanging information, ideas, and opinions. And that’s it. Nothing more. Social media should not measure the success or the longevity of your relationship. Your partner not posting photos of you on a regular basis or not sharing love posts with you shouldn’t make you doubt them. The only thing that you should care about is their behavior when they are with you.
Your relationship is not a movie for others to see. It is not something that should disclose to the general public. Your intimacy is reserved only for you and your partner. No one else.
And also… What good can come off sharing your entire life on social media when you have no clue what tomorrow might bring? What if you break up? What if one day you wake up and realize that you no longer love that person?
What will you do then? You’ll delete all those posts and photos and pretend like nothing ever happened until the next person comes along, sweeps you off your feet and you start sharing another love story online?
Excuse me, but that’s just sad. Your relationship is not a romantic movie. It is real life. It is happening right here and right now. And it concerns you and your partner. Not your friends. Not your family. And especially not your followers.
So, here’s a wild idea.
What do you say you stop obsessing so much about what your relationship looks online and start focusing on how your relationship looks in real life?
True happiness is found only in togetherness. In respecting, loving, trusting, and cherishing one another. In being there for one another and spending your life in each other’s company. In talking about the things that startle you, sharing your plans, daydreaming, supporting each other’s goals, listening to each other’s opinions, and simply enjoying your life together. In paying attention. In living in the present moment… In valuing and protecting your intimacy.
So, don’t let this society fool you. You don’t need an online approval to be happy in your relationship.
All you need is love.
Women who don’t love themselves have trouble trusting someone because they cannot see why anyone would want to be with them and what they see in them.
When they discover that someone has a crush on them, they immediately think that they have hidden motives. They think they are leading them on, that they are playing them. They think the person who is interested in them is lying to them only to hook up with them and then leave.
They question everyone’s good intentions because it is so difficult for them to open up and trust that someone will love them because they don’t even love themselves.
Even when they are in a serious relationship, they are not calm. They easily get anxious when their partner goes out with friends and comes home late or forgets to return their call. They also feel insecure and not good enough almost every time a good-looking woman passes by. They worry because they think their partner will leave them for someone better.
And it does not matter how good the person is and how much they promise they are never going to hurt them – these women are still going to look out for red flags and signs of lying and betrayal. They can literally be their own worst enemy.
Women who don’t love themselves don’t trust other people as well because they cannot see the beauty and the goodness that lies within them. They only see their flaws and mistakes. They think they are unlovable and therefore when someone shows they love them; they are not sure what to do. Their first instinct is to escape because they think they are going to end up hurt and betrayed.
That’s why it can take some time before they start opening their heart and trusting again. They must first learn how to love themselves and accept them as they are. They must learn their value and trust that they deserve love and good things. And they deserve someone who will be patient with them and will stay with them on their path towards self-love.
Don’t be flattered by that person who likes all of your selfies on Instagram.
Be flattered by that person who likes you for you: with your messy hair and no makeup, with your unshaved beard and beer breath.
Don’t be flattered by the person who sends you heart emojis and memes, or sends you a good night text. That takes a second.
Be flattered by the person who is willing to change his relationship status for you and hold your hand in public. No doubts or hesitations.
True, genuine love is not rendered by our phones and the texts we send with them. It is not rendered by virtual connections, on the contrary, it is rendered by two people going on dates, communicating, and finding their mutual hobbies and adventures.
So, don’t be flattered if someone is acting all perfect on social media, but haven’t introduced you to their friends or family yet.
Be flattered when you get to meet the inner circle of a person thanks to their own initiative.
Be flattered when they welcome you in their world and shout out from the rooftop you are together.
Modern-day dating is often about physical beauty and who gets to text first. It’s also about appearances.
What was that thing about appearances? Oh, they are deceiving.
Virtual relationships are an inevitable stage of modernity. I get that. But after the likes, the comments, and the perfect selfies, you need something more. That something “more” is what will make the difference between a fling and a relationship.
Show genuine interest in that person you want to be with, invest both in spending time, and creating memories with them.
Don’t be flattered by someone who gives you presents and plans special dinners for your birthday or for Valentine’s day only.
Be flattered if that special someone wants to spend every night with you and gives you presents on a random day.
Sometimes, what you see is what you get. So, if that special someone is not willing to go the extra mile, take things at face value. If they want to form a life with you and grow old, you’ll notice how they are more present in your life than on social media.
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Very often, people falsely thing that strong women don’t want to fall in love and get married to the man of their life. And while it’s true that the majority of these ladies are very independent and happy on their own, that doesn’t mean they are not looking for love.
I think of myself as a strong woman, independent and in touch with her feelings. I have been in a few relationships that were emotionally fulfilling but they all ended suddenly and abruptly, and it was after I decided to get back in touch with myself after a period of losing myself in the relationship.
I don’t know why I get stuck in these patterns, but I believe it all happens because deep down I am conflicted. One part of me wants to find love, while the other part of me doesn’t want to compromise my beliefs, values, and freedom.
Of course, I can’t say that this is true for other strong and independent ladies out there, but my experiences have been depressing. Whenever I meet someone I like, I get overly excited and enthusiastic about the relationship, especially if he gained my respect for his ambition, humility, and his caring but bold nature.
But I always tend to think they are better than they are and that’s my fatal mistake. I always imagine people to be better than they are, and I get disappointed when I see their true colors.
Yes, I understand that we are all imperfect human beings and we should not look for perfection because no one can be, but if someone is not ready to meet me halfway and be an equal partner to me, then why are they pretending to be?
I know that committing to someone and falling in love can be scary, but it is more terrifying for us, strong women, who have their lives together to waste their time and energy on someone who is not ready to be serious.
We are grown-ass women! We are past the point of casual dating. We are looking for the real thing.
I, myself, don’t have the time to get in a relationship with someone who is not ready to live up to his potential and doesn’t want the same things as I do. I want the real deal. I want someone as strong and ambitious as me. I want someone who won’t be scared of their feelings for me. I want someone who will match my intensity and respect my goals. I want someone who will stand beside me and match me on all levels.
Because, what I am fearing is not that I’ll end up alone, but that I’ll end up with the wrong person.
I am slowly realizing that I stopped thinking twice about people who don’t give a damn about me. I am not putting in any effort for someone who doesn’t deserve me. Period.
Before, I was doing the opposite. I was giving my time and energy to all the wrong people. I was doing everything for someone who couldn’t bother to even ask me about my day. I was there for people who when I needed them, they turned me down and walked away.
Now I know better. I will no longer waste my love on unhealthy relationships with people who don’t love me back. I will no longer hope that they will change their mind and fall in love with me after they see how wonderful I am. I am done with that. Those toxic relationships nearly killed me. Every time the person on the other end of the relationship will use my good nature and then toss me like a used mop after they get bored or find a new victim.
I am done. I will never make someone a priority in my life when it is clear that I am not a priority in theirs. The truth is, I am exhausted from always giving all of me to someone who took me for granted and leaving myself feeling empty and drained. I realize that I don’t want to live a life like that and therefore I am changing my old ways.
I will be the real me without caring whether someone likes me or not. I will not follow any dumb rule made up by someone who wanted things to be easier for them. It is not easier for me, so I am not doing it. From this moment on, I will do things my way.
I will no longer conceal my feelings because they are not something I should be ashamed of. I will express them when I feel like it. I won’t hide my soft heart under a hard and cold exterior just because someone thinks that’s the way to not get your heart broken.
Well, if I get hurt, okay. I will get over it. What I won’t get over, however, is not living my life the way my heart tells me to just because I am scared what other people will think of me.
I will cry when I am sad and smile when I am happy. I won’t pretend I am okay when I am not. I don’t give a f*ck anymore.
I stopped giving a damn about things over which I don’t have control. If someone doesn’t care about me, why should I care about them? I am cutting off anyone who doesn’t make me happy or doesn’t bring meaning into my life.
Because, the thing is, I worked hard for everything that I am and everything I have. I am working hard every day to become the best version of myself. I have goals. I have dreams. I know where I want to be. I am not a lost and naïve soul one can decide to screw over and walk away.
I realize now that I am surrounded by manipulators and emotional abusers who lack the emotional capacity to care about anyone, including themselves. They are there to hurt people and I won’t let them hurt me anymore. I will stay away from their toxicity and not let them anywhere near me. I am done with their toxic bullshit.
I am also done pretending I am okay when I am not. If someone makes me feel like shit, I won’t stay silent. I will speak up and put them in their place.
And I won’t forgive them. I am done giving second chances to people who keep on disappointing me. Some people don’t deserve second chances. Some people don’t deserve forgiveness. They deserve to stay in the past where they belong.
And I am okay with that. I finally realized I don’t give a f*ck anymore. I care about myself now and my own growth and healing.
Last night, it happened again. I couldn’t fall asleep because I was thinking of you. I don’t even know why you are still on my mind. I promised myself that we are over and that I will move on, but somehow, I can’t. I’ve spent so much time looking down at my phone, hoping to see your name on my screen. I was missing you so much that I didn’t realize that I was losing myself in the process and letting myself down.
When I first met you, you were the light in my life. I had so much faith in us and our future together. I never thought we would ever grow distant. But we did. And it was brutal. It was one of the most painful breakups I have ever had even though we were never officially together.
And do you know how difficult it is for me to explain this to someone? How can I tell someone that I am grieving over someone I never even had? I spent many months with you, and when you were not with me, you were in my mind. We were texting and talking constantly. I shared everything with you. But, slowly, it all started to fade away until we stopped seeing each other entirely.
And what pains me the most is the fact that we could have been great together. We could have built something lasting. I believed in us. I believed in you. I fought for us and our connection, but I stopped when I realized that I was fighting alone.
The hurt from losing you is not any less just because we were not in a relationship. I loved you. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally invested in you. I enjoyed spending time with you that I ignored everything you said when you told me you didn’t want a relationship. And perhaps that’s where I made a mistake. Perhaps my hope that one day we will be together screwed me up.
How could I be so dumb? I am here, writing about you, thinking of you, losing sleep at night because of you while you are probably out there, dating and sleeping with someone else. You are with another girl while I am here still hurting while trying to get you out of my head and my heart.
I was looking for forever. I was looking for love and commitment and you involved me in a friend with benefits situation. I knew I didn’t deserve it but still, it was hard to let you go.
Now, a few months passed since we last kissed and held hands. I still talk to you from time to time, just so we make sure we are okay, and I see you around in town sometimes. We hug, we greet, we ask each other cliché questions. Our connection is lost and we both know that. And we are not trying to rekindle the fire that once burnt between us.
I wish you well, of course. But now I know what I want and what I deserve. And I am sorry that I couldn’t get it with you.
I loved you. I loved you with passion and ferocity. I loved you with such a depth that I got myself to a point when I couldn’t imagine my life without you. It’s like I was not only in love with you, I was infatuated by you. I was obsessed and in love with every part of your body, your smile, your eyes, your touch… everything.
And I was not only in love with you, but I was also in love with the way you were making me feel. I didn’t only love your hands and your touch, but I also loved the way my skin warmed and melted under them. It wasn’t just your laugh, but the goosebumps I got every time I saw your smile.
And sometimes I even think that I didn’t even really love you but I loved the idea of you and how you made me feel. Yes, love can be selfish like that. We love for us, never for the other person.
That’s why when you left, I felt as if the most valuable part of me was being ripped off.
And your leaving was not silent. You slammed the door on your way out. I felt like a failure and I thought that I was destined to live a lonely life full of sorrow and emptiness because I was attached to all the wonderful things that you represented to me. And when you left, it’s like you took away all the beauty with you and suddenly my life has become a barren desert.
But now I understand. I wasn’t in love with you, I was in love with the idea of you. Yes, you hurt me when you took away the fantasy, but I will be okay.
There is still love in my heart that is waiting to be shared with someone who will be right for me.
Going on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if you’re not sure what the first words out of your mouth are going to be. Unfortunately, the longer you think about what you’re going to do next, the more awkward the situation can become. On the other hand, not saying much at all isn’t a good move, either.
Sometimes, it isn’t what you say or do, it’s how you approach the date in terms of appearance and demeanor that matter the most when it comes to positioning yourself to break the ice. If you can set the tone and create a positive initial impression through visual and social cues, then you don’t have to come up with the coolest or funniest things in the world to say, as you can lean on the preconceived image that you’re already projecting. With that said, here are five effective tips you can use to break the ice more easily on any first date:
1. Wear the Right Footwear and Clothing
While you might be hoping to find someone who “loves you for you” and doesn’t care how you dress, the real world usually doesn’t work like that on a first date. In fact, numerous dating and social surveys have revealed that people base their initial opinions and perceptions of others primarily on their outer appearance, which is mostly influenced by the shoes and clothing you’re wearing and how well-groomed you are. Of course, you’ll probably get a warmer welcome if you’re wearing a brand new pair of Givenchy sneakers than if you were to show up sporting decrepit ice fishing boots from your storage shed – after all, we’re not literally trying to break ice (frozen H2O). Why not check out SSENSE and see what designer pieces catch your eye?
2. Use Fragrances in Your Favor
Science has proven that pheromones and other natural scents are cues that the body uses to attract mates. While you don’t want to go back to the caveman times and utilize your body’s natural stench, you can still leverage the same concept by choosing an appealing cologne or perfume. There have also been social experiments done where people who had neutral or offensive odors were treated worse than people who had an attractive scent. However, be careful not to overdo this tip, as excessive fragrances could nauseate or annoy your date.
3. Don’t Talk Too Much
Your goal is to break the ice a bit, not completely melt it into a boiling lake of awkwardness. Don’t put yourself in the hot seat on purpose with long drawn out lectures. Try to think of breaking the ice like ice fishing: you put a line out there and wait a bit to see how the fish respond – you don’t just keep throwing lines out all willy-nilly. To bring the analogy even further, one properly placed line is all it really takes to put your catch on the hook. In more basic terms, the more you talk, the more likely it is that you’ll say accidentally something stupid or offensive, so try to keep your opening lines and responses short and sweet.
4. Choose the Right Setting
No, we’re not talking about your smartphone settings here. Instead, we’re talking about the environment in which the first date takes place. Naturally, it’s harder to break the ice in some places than it is in others. To build upon the previous analogy, you don’t want your date to take place in a frigid area where breaking the ice will feel like chipping away at Antarctica with an ice pick. Instead, you want to choose a warm and welcoming temperate zone that will ignite a heat wave which softens the ice just enough for you to gently break through it. In general, “warm” places are secluded, serene, peaceful, or entertaining, whereas “cold” places are crowded, hectic, noisy, or boring.
5. Be the First to Open Up or Ask a Question
You don’t want a horde of crickets standing in your way when you’re trying to break open the ice with a shovel. In case you’re socially clueless, “crickets” is the term used to describe that horrible void of silence that happens when neither person can think of something to say or muster up the courage to say it. Thus, the first step to breaking the ice properly should always be to clear the crickets out of the way. Of course, in the real word, you’d probably never encounter a horde of crickets swarming atop an ice sheet, but hey, you get the point – somebody’s got to be the big enough person to open up or start the discourse. You should never feel hesitant during this step because, in all actuality, your date expects you to say something, so don’t let them down.
Be Ready to Answer Questions, But Not Over-Eager
Eventually, after a few dates you can cut loose and not really give too much thought to how you’re answering questions, but for the first date it’s always best to look at it like a job interview – try to sound good without disqualifying yourself. When it comes to answering questions, sometimes less is more. You don’t want to be that person who tells their entire life story when someone asks them what kind of restaurant they want to eat at.
After a breakup, there are people who want to win the breakup by finding a new person quickly to fill the void that the ex-partner left.
Yes, I agree that relationships aren’t a game and after breaking up with someone instead of trying to find happiness in another person, you should focus on yourself and find a way to heal yourself while moving on with your life genuinely and gracefully.
Of course, no one wants to go through Facebook pictures of their ex with their new relationship while you are still alone and getting over it.
We all want to feel wanted and desired, especially after a painful breakup. However, the trouble comes when we start measuring our happiness by whether we have a new romantic partner.
Moving on has nothing to do with finding a new person. It is now about getting back on the dating game. And it is not about going into a new relationship, falling in love, and plan your happily ever after. No. It doesn’t work like that.
Moving on is taking back your life. It is investing in yourself and your life. It is following your dreams. Taking care of yourself. It is growing and learning. It is making peace with your past and finding love and peace within yourself.
As for me, after breaking a long-term relationship, followed by a career change, an apartment move, traveling, and a lot of reflection on myself and my life, I realized that during that process, I had forgotten all about him. And I managed to get over him without falling in love with someone else because during my grieving period, I stayed single. I haven’t even gone on dates.
So, for me, moving on had nothing to do with committing to a new person. For me, moving on meant welcoming a new phase of my life when I was in commitment to myself.
Of course, moving on is not the same for all people. Some people move on only by finding someone new. Others build a bustling career and are happy living their independent lives.
No two people are the same, and so, the healing process of moving on is different for everybody.
After all, moving on is simply being happy again without your ex. And never wanting to go back.
Marriage counseling can make or break your marriage. You cannot go wrong with a marriage counselor. Learn how to find a good marriage counselor here.
They say happy wife, happy life. They also say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
All cliches aside, divorce rates are high, so everyone in a relationship has to put their ideals aside to work together. A happy and successful marriage only happens when you put your heads and hearts together to make it work.
Knowing how to find a good marriage counselor is the first step. Here are all the ways you can get the best marriage counselor possible.
Find Someone That Has Training and Qualifications
Any marriage counselor should have qualifications that are easy to verify.
You can get advice from anyone, but a marriage counselor should be a licensed and trained therapist. Verify first what college degrees they have and where they received them.
Ask them when they passed their medical boards and how long they have had their counseling license. The longer they have been around giving professional counseling to married couples, the better they will be in a place for you to trust them.
Be Sure That They Have the Ability to Be Impartial
No one wants to feel like they are under attack. Since you are going to a counselor to make your relationship better, it has to be a safe place for both of you.
Don’t choose a therapist that choose one side or the other. Also, don’t choose a counselor that doesn’t put the success of the marriage as the top priority.
Some therapists lean toward helping people figure out if they want a divorce as opposed to the success of the marriage. Divorce should always be on the table for a failed marriage, but an impartial therapist can help you work on the strategies that will actually help to save the relationship.
Look Into Some Different Counseling Styles
Just because marriage counselors are in the same line of work doesn’t mean they go about business the same way. There are all sorts of counseling styles that professionals use.
Psychodynamic counseling, existential therapy, humanistic counseling, interpersonal counseling, mindfulness counseling, and cognitive behavioral therapy are just a few of the styles that you might get.
No school of thought is right or wrong. The thing to think about is which style fits your personality and the relationship.
A different counseling style might also work better based on your relationship goals.
Know What You Need to Get Out of Going to the Marriage Counselor
There are always different reasons for going to the counselor. It’s always a good idea to get therapy, even if you don’t have anything currently wrong that you need to work through. This will teach you how to communicate with each other and will also make it easier to understand one another.
If you do have a major problem that you need to work through, you should state the specific goal. People that are dealing with infidelity or parenting differences should specifically state these issues so that they can start working through the problems one by one.
The better you know yourselves upfront, the better you can move forward as a couple through some solid counseling.
Assess Their Personality and Communication Styles
Therapists are also human beings so don’t just put all of your stock in their medical experience. You still need to find someone that is friendly and easy to talk to.
Energetically, they should put you at ease every time you speak with them. Their personality traits should match both what you and your husband or wife respond to. This way, you can start your sessions at neutral, rather than in the negative because your counselor’s personality already rubs you or the other partner the wrong way.
Use a Counselor That You Can Afford
Make sure that affordability is something that you put as a priority.
Going to the counselor is something that you will have to do once a week at a minimum if you want it to be effective. This is another bill that you will have to add to your living expenses.
If every counseling session costs $50 to $100, you need to be sure that it isn’t an issue for you to swing it. If one or both of you has health insurance that covers counseling, definitely find a therapist that is in your network.
Think About Any Spiritual or Religious Beliefs
The bonding and unity of your marriage is also a spiritual thing. You need to be sure that your counselor matches your spiritual beliefs.
If you both have a strong faith leaning, then perhaps choose a counselor that is also faith-based. If you’re atheist, you wouldn’t want a counselor that can’t see past their own spiritual beliefs.
Make this decision early so you can feel good in your heart about who you are hiring.
Ask About Their Own Personal Relationships
How is your counselor’s relationship?
Don’t feel that this is an intrusive question. You don’t need to pry into their personal business, but it is fair for you to want to know if your counselor currently has a successful marriage.
It doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker for you. But seeing if they are able to apply their expertise in real life can be helpful in choosing a counselor.
How to Find a Good Marriage Counselor
Knowing how to find a good marriage counselor will help your relationship. Choose a counselor to help your marriage before it becomes too late.
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