We were not right for each other. I know it. But, I still want you to know that you hold a special place in my heart. I want to thank you for all we shared and all the memories. I want to thank you for falling in love with me and being there to catch me when I fell in love with you. I want to thank you for all the laughs we shared. I want to thank you for loving me for who I am and your understanding and support you were giving me every single day. Especially, thank you for always being there for me.
Even though we were very happy together, and even though at some point we were right for each other, our love had an expiration date. And somehow, we both knew we were never going to last.
When we finished our story, I couldn’t help but wonder about all the maybes and what-ifs in our connection. I couldn’t stop my heart from feeling pain. And I also couldn’t understand how two people who were perfect together can’t have their happily ever after. I knew all along that you are not the one I am supposed to spend my life with even though I wanted with every fiber of my being.
I didn’t know then, but I know now that sometimes love is not enough. When it is the real thing, you not only fall in love with the other person, but you also fall in love with yourself. When you are with your destined person, you fall head over heels in love with the person you are with them.
Because, we can love someone, and it can still not be right. We can care about someone so much, and yet they might not be the one. Our relationship might still not be long-lasting. And that’s okay. Because maybe all these relationships and love stories are our steppingstones towards falling more and more in love with ourselves. Maybe they lead us to the right thing where we can find our true happiness.
As for me, I refused to let go of someone who was making me happy and fulfilled because I forgot that I can and I am completely fine on my own. That I can be happy on my own. Because with you, I forgot how to love myself. I didn’t live my truth. I lost my authenticity. That’s why we were not meant to be. And sometimes, we have to let someone go, so as something better can come.
But even though we didn’t last long, I will forever carry you in my heart. Because you have changed my life. You have shaped me in the person I am today and for that, I am forever grateful.
Now I know that true love is finding someone who will let you fall in love with yourself first.
Very often, people falsely thing that strong women don’t want to fall in love and get married to the man of their life. And while it’s true that the majority of these ladies are very independent and happy on their own, that doesn’t mean they are not looking for love.
I think of myself as a strong woman, independent and in touch with her feelings. I have been in a few relationships that were emotionally fulfilling but they all ended suddenly and abruptly, and it was after I decided to get back in touch with myself after a period of losing myself in the relationship.
I don’t know why I get stuck in these patterns, but I believe it all happens because deep down I am conflicted. One part of me wants to find love, while the other part of me doesn’t want to compromise my beliefs, values, and freedom.
Of course, I can’t say that this is true for other strong and independent ladies out there, but my experiences have been depressing. Whenever I meet someone I like, I get overly excited and enthusiastic about the relationship, especially if he gained my respect for his ambition, humility, and his caring but bold nature.
But I always tend to think they are better than they are and that’s my fatal mistake. I always imagine people to be better than they are, and I get disappointed when I see their true colors.
Yes, I understand that we are all imperfect human beings and we should not look for perfection because no one can be, but if someone is not ready to meet me halfway and be an equal partner to me, then why are they pretending to be?
I know that committing to someone and falling in love can be scary, but it is more terrifying for us, strong women, who have their lives together to waste their time and energy on someone who is not ready to be serious.
We are grown-ass women! We are past the point of casual dating. We are looking for the real thing.
I, myself, don’t have the time to get in a relationship with someone who is not ready to live up to his potential and doesn’t want the same things as I do. I want the real deal. I want someone as strong and ambitious as me. I want someone who won’t be scared of their feelings for me. I want someone who will match my intensity and respect my goals. I want someone who will stand beside me and match me on all levels.
Because, what I am fearing is not that I’ll end up alone, but that I’ll end up with the wrong person.
Kind people are the most beautiful looking ones. Their kindness shines through them and makes this world a better place.
Here are 7 ways how to be kind to yourself and to others.
1. LET GO OF YOUR BAGGAGE
Your past baggage can hold you back and stop your inner light from shining through. We’ve all experienced hardships and pain, but the important thing is that we heal ourselves and start a new life.
2. STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE
You are beautiful inside and out. After all, physical beauty is faltering, what matters is what we carry inside ourselves. A good and kind soul is the most beautiful thing in the world.
3. KEEP A HEALTHY SELF-IMAGE
Accept your flaws. No one is perfect. Love yourself for who you are. Love your body, your face, your hair, your kind heart, your loving soul!
4. HAVE FUN
Be yourself. Have fun. Go out with your friends. Dance. Have a drink. Go to a movie. Go skiing. Have a good time doing what you love.
5. BE KIND TO YOURSELF
Being good to yourself is essential for your happiness. You can’t have meaningful connections with others if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself. Focus on yourself. Eat healthy. Drink water. Take a vacation. Go on spa weekend. Pamper yourself.
6. STOP OVERTHINKING
Let things unfold naturally. Don’t rush anything. Don’t worry about things that may or may not happen in the future. Overthinking won’t help you. Just have faith, stay calm, and believe in yourself.
7. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
Your heart is always talking to you. You should have courage to listen to it and follow its advice. Your heart knows what’s best for you.
And when you are in tune with your heart and mind and at peace with yourself, your aura will change and you’ll attract positive and beautiful things into your life.
Don’t say you are sorry for treating me badly and then going back to treating me the same way. Your apology doesn’t count if your behavior towards me remains unchanged. It’s empty and meaningless. And it is not a reflection on your maturity, because real maturity comes from recognizing your flaws and correcting them.
I will never feel guilty for walking away from you because you have hurt me. Yes, you apologized and said you regret doing so. But you did it again. And again. And again. You kept hurting me and that is something I won’t allow anymore. Everyone has permission to walk away from someone who continues hurting them.
If someone has my best intentions at heart and really loves me, then they will correct their toxic behavior because they wouldn’t want to see me in pain.
Of course, they won’t be perfect and flawless, but they are going to be willing to work on the things that are harming our relationship. Because there is a great difference between a toxic partner who is unwilling to change and someone who has good intentions and they love you but sometimes make minor unintentional mistakes.
Because there are people who were apologizing to me just because they knew that that’s what I wanted to hear, and they thought it was the easiest way out. Yes, their apology might have been sincere, but it turned out that they only treated me better for a short period of time and they ended up going back to their old ways.
This is a common tactic of emotional manipulators. They act like they are sorry for how they treated you because they want to lure you in their life again. Therefore, they sweet-talk you and give you an illusion that they are changed until you put down your guard and then they go back to being a**holes.
So, be careful when you accept apologies. Only give people second chances if you really believe that they are capable of working on themselves and bettering themselves. Don’t lower your standards and forget about your needs just so that you can have an excuse for keeping someone in your life. Don’t hurt yourself like that.
And remember, apologies don’t mean anything – actions do!
Therefore, don’t feel bad about walking away from someone who is not deserving of your time, love, and energy.
I am a giver. I am a fighter. I am someone who has been taught to fight for the people and things I love. During my whole life, I believed that if I made a connection with someone, I should fight for it and do everything to keep that person in my life. How wrong I was…
I naively thought that every person in my life deserved to be there. I kept giving my all to them and kept ending up empty, brokenhearted, and utterly betrayed. And the saddest thing is, I was doing this to myself. I was betraying and destroying me because I couldn’t let go.
I just couldn’t accept the fact how the people I loved the most could hurt me just like that instead of loving me back. Why would someone reject all the love and care I was giving to them?
After many, many heartbreaks, and lonely nights spent in tears, I finally got it. You can’t change people. You can’t make them love you or appreciate you more.
In the process of being nice to others and making them love me, I lost myself. I forgot to love myself and be there for me. Because, at the end of the day, we are all alone. And when someone turns their back on us, we only got ourselves. And that should be enough. We are enough.
We must be our own heroes and not expect anything from anyone. We must be complete and whole on our own. We must guard our hearts ferociously because if we don’t, no one would.
I am proud to say that I’ve finally let go of people who didn’t value me. I have also learned that just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean that they love you back or are good for you. Just because you want someone in your life doesn’t mean that they deserve to have a place in your life and heart.
I’ve finally learned that I deserve more than someone who constantly hurts me and lets me down. I have faith in me and my future that I will find someone who will see my true worth and be there for me. Someone who will reciprocate my love and my effort. Someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
I am no longer think less of myself just because someone didn’t see my worth. I am just walking away from them and releasing them from my life and my energy field.
I’ve finally learned to let go…
You should never ever ignore the woman you love because that’s how you’ll lose her. When it comes to matters of love, the thing we women hate the most is being ignored by the person we care about.
And it doesn’t matter how long we’ve been in the relationship. We always, always want you to put effort and show us your love.
I, personally, cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen couples in public ignoring each other. That’s not okay. When you are with your partner, they should be the focus of your attention – not your phone! Now, if there is an emergency I understand. But, scrolling through social media just because when your love is sitting across from you is utter nonsense.
Maybe at first, she will call you out and tell you that it bothers her when you don’t pay any attention to her. And if you don’t listen to her, you will lose her. Why? Because at some point she will stop “begging” for your undivided attention, and she will put her attention on herself. She will realize that she deserves more because she is a worthy and wonderful woman inside and out.
Because when you ignore your woman, you are doing her a favor to experience a life without you and realize that she doesn’t need you. If you don’t return her calls and texts, you are teaching her to not text you as often, and when you accomplish that, you will lose her because she will never again want to waste her time on you.
The more you ignore your woman, the more she accustoms to a life without you. And before you realize what is happening, she is gone.
You may live in the fantasy that it is okay to leave your lady on the back burner because where would she go? You falsely assume that she will always be there for you just because she loves you. Well, I am sorry to destroy your fantasy, but a quality woman knows when enough is enough. She knows her worth and she will not allow you to disrespect her like that and take her for granted.
Because when you ignore her, she is learning that you don’t respect her. That you don’t she is worthy of being taken out to dinner and you talking to her during the evening. And even if you don’t mean those things, she believes them to be true.
No woman should ever feel ignored and unwanted by her significant other.
This woman was with you through everything. That’s why no matter what you have going on in your life, put your phone down and talk to her. Spend time with her. Take her out. Love her. Appreciate her before it’s too late.
Don’t teach her how to live her life without you.
When a woman realizes she’s made it, and by ‘made it’ I don’t mean achieving some kind of financial gain or professional success, then she is unstoppable.
When she reaches a point in her life when she simply doesn’t care about anyone’s bullshit and she is done playing games and entertaining people who don’t deserve her time – then she is a powerful and unshakeable force.
Her motto in life is simply – “I am a mature woman and I won’t settle for your nonsense.”
She won’t settle for your drama. She is not a fan of constant arguments. She doesn’t like wondering where you are and whether you’ll call. She knows who she is and what she deserves, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated as an option.
She doesn’t want a bigger apartment, a bigger salary, bigger anything. She is satisfied with her life as it is. Because you know, some people want a normal and simple life.
She knows she’s not perfect nor she wants to be. She also doesn’t expect her partner to be perfect. She knows every person is flawed in their own way and she is not there to judge. What she does expect though, is love, empathy, kindness, and compassion.
She is confident in the way she looks and doesn’t need anyone that tries to change her. Yes, she has wrinkles, yes, she has under-eye circles, but she doesn’t need anyone to give her a lesson on skincare.
She also doesn’t need anyone to tell her to exercise and eat healthily. She exercises because it makes her feel good, not because she has some beauty standard to achieve. She is happy in her own body regardless of her weight. And yes, she will eat whole chocolate if she feels like it.
She surrounds herself only with people who truly love and understand her. She doesn’t need any toxic or unkind people in her life.
She loves herself and her life and she won’t allow anyone to toy with her.
Dating, in general, is hard enough already without all the creeps and back alley negotiations going on, so why add all the drama on top of it all? Well basically, because there are weirdos out there that get a thrill and kick out of it without taking into consideration the consequences and negative impact they are making on lives.
What is dating?
It is the stage in life where you are putting yourself out there to meet a person in a social situation and see if you are compatible as humans as well as assess whether there is the prospect of being together intimately in a relationship.
Courtship and courting these days are where the relationship develops and grows and you begin to realize the long-term possibilities with this person. Read about the etymology and history in this link and how behavior patterns have changed and evolved over the years.
Although nowadays it is done in public through social events, occasions and for sure the social media platforms, it can also be built privately within traditions and no intrusions with the exception perhaps to family approval.
This system of introductions and creating personal connections via the internet has seemed to take over the need for chivalry, long gone are the days where to get someone’s attention you made an effort of flowers, a card or even a serenade under a window sill. Now it’s all emojis and sexting and chatting to a person who might not even be who they claim to be.
Many of these dating apps and websites allege to be legitimate companies with real people looking for a life partner, but so many are being exposed these days for the corrupt and illegal activities they offer, it can be a worry not to get scammed.
Online Dating site scams.
Being wary when it comes to searching online for the love of your life is an understatement, you have to be real and alert. Many victims fall prey to the charms of others and it can seriously damage your life, with some cases being the end of it, take a minute and see what a brave woman who spoke out on being caught, experienced.
The unfortunate issue with this is that the reputable companies and dating sites out there are being roped into it all and getting a bad reputation along with the rest of them. The fake profiles, the false identities, and the illusion of emotions are all copied and cloned in these fake sites and because they seem so similar you doubt yourself into believing it is genuine.
Signs of a Scam Dating site and its Users.
- Love in a short time. Scam artists will proclaim to have strong feelings for you and even be ‘falling in love’ with you after just a short period, they will ask to have you to themselves and move the conversation to a more private method such as phone and texts, this is a red flag.
- As you get to ‘know’ them, details will start to not add up. Indicating in the profile they have a degree in a certain subject but when asked they avoid the subject or seem to not remember. Photos that don’t match the description or photos you’ve received, and are brushed off as being taken back in college are a rookie mistake.
- No Contact Info. You’ve come across an issue, and the website has no contact info, tell-tale sign its fraudulent. Fortunately, some do get caught and publicized which you can educate yourself on here http://www.datingcop.com/yesbackpage-review and see just how they try their tricks and get away with it.
- Personal issues. A sudden problem has come up with a family member and their money is tied up there, asking if you can help financially in any way should have you packing for the hills.
- Or lack-there-of for customers including bad reviews will help make your decision not to use them easier and more comfortable, do your research, be thorough and don’t give these con-artists a chance.
Karma has a funny way of tying the two ends together at the end of the day, these scammers will get what’s due to them, just be safe and happy dating.
If you are not ready to make her your priority, leave her alone. Don’t waste her time. Don’t make her an option. Don’t chase her and try to manipulate her by making her feel like what you two have is real. Don’t play mind games. Don’t use her so that you can feel better about yourself after breaking up with your ex. She doesn’t deserve to be a rebound; not to you, not to anyone.
If you are not ready to be in a committed relationship, don’t string her along. Don’t try to know her better. Don’t make her feel close to you. Don’t open up to her and have her open up to you as well if you are not ready to respect her and her feelings. If you are not ready to love her, don’t make her fall in love with you. It is cruel.
If she is not your first choice, don’t try to get her back when she distances from you. Don’t try to fool her with your fake words and promises to keep her in your life. That’s selfish. Don’t kiss her and hold her hand if you are not planning to love her the real way.
If you are not ready to be with her, just leave. Walk away from her and let her find her happiness elsewhere. Don’t act jealous when you see her with someone else. Don’t try to get her back only to treat her like an option again.
If you are not willing to make her yours, stop wasting her time. Don’t half-love her. Don’t lie to her. Just leave because she doesn’t need half-you. She needs a mature and whole person beside her. Someone she can count on. Someone she can love and who will love her more than anything.
Leave her alone if you are not ready to be with her because she will leave you when she realizes that you are stringing her along. She will leave you when she realized that your presence feels the same as your absence and that she is better off alone.
This woman is the kind of woman who is looking for real love and commitment. She believes in being faithful and committed to one person. She is someone who loves hard and deep. She wants all or nothing.
Therefore, if you are having second thoughts about her, always choose to leave her. She will be grateful for that.
People often say to me that when you love someone, you can’t explain why you love them. It is a feeling that goes beyond all reasoning and planning. We rarely plan to fall in love. We just do. When we meet someone special, someone with whom we ‘click’ there is an instant connection and bonding that is happening between our souls.
Sometimes I feel that these soul-connections are given to us by God. I feel that God makes us meet certain people and allows them to become a vital part of our lives and change us to the core. These people are the ones who are destined to teach us the most valuable lessons about ourselves and the world.
When I look back, every person that has come into my life has come for a reason – to teach me something and shape me into the person I am today. And the interesting part is, these people were not meant to stay, they were only there to fulfill their mission and then leave.
Most of the time, it’s the stage of our lives we are in that determines the type of people that will connect with us. Because God always sends the right people at the right time and provides us with the answers we were looking for. He wants us to grow and become the best versions of ourselves and that’s why He sometimes brings challenging people that are meant to shake us to our core and inspire us to change.
The trouble is, when we fall in love with these people and our bond, we forget that they are only temporary and we don’t want to let go. So, we desperately try to make them our forever people even though they have fulfilled their mission and need to leave us. We just can’t understand why God would bring someone amazing into our lives and then take that person away.
And perhaps that’s the point. Maybe God is teaching us how to let go. Because after all, nothing is eternal. And in order for us to learn how to detach and accept that a certain story is over, we have to practice the art of letting go gracefully.
But most importantly, God is teaching us to have faith that one day we will meet someone who will be our forever.
We, human beings, are not made of stone. We have feelings and oftentimes our feelings get hurt. We all have experienced incredible sadness and we still crumble down and drown in sorrow. But, it’s during those times that we learn how to embrace our emotions.
Be angry. Be sad. Cry. Let your emotions out. They are there to remind you how you shouldn’t be feeling. Your emotions are there to humble you and break your heart so that it can open for new experiences and better things.
I also went through an emotional rollercoaster. The person who I thought loved me broke my heart. I was devastated. I never thought I could move on with my life. I realized that they never cared about me and what they could get from me. I was only a temporary convenience and they never planned on loving me the way I deserve to be loved.
And I think that this realization was what hurt me the most – when I found that I was not what they wanted. And that is okay. Now, I understand that I can’t be good and wanted by everyone I love. I can’t force someone into loving me. I can only control myself and my feelings.
During moments of deep pain and sadness, it is essential to do small things that make you happy. Go out with your friends. Buy yourself something. Book tickets for your next trip. Anything that will make you happy. Moreover, surround yourself with positive people who will make you forget all the pain that is in your heart. People who will make you smile again and show you that life is beautiful. Hold on to those people.
And never, never feel guilty for taking the time you need to heal and make yourself feel okay again. Everyone has a different pace in life and everyone’s healing is different. The only thing that you should remember is to be patient and know that good things come to those who wait.
Women who don’t love themselves have trouble trusting someone because they cannot see why anyone would want to be with them and what they see in them.
When they discover that someone has a crush on them, they immediately think that they have hidden motives. They think they are leading them on, that they are playing them. They think the person who is interested in them is lying to them only to hook up with them and then leave.
They question everyone’s good intentions because it is so difficult for them to open up and trust that someone will love them because they don’t even love themselves.
Even when they are in a serious relationship, they are not calm. They easily get anxious when their partner goes out with friends and comes home late or forgets to return their call. They also feel insecure and not good enough almost every time a good-looking woman passes by. They worry because they think their partner will leave them for someone better.
And it does not matter how good the person is and how much they promise they are never going to hurt them – these women are still going to look out for red flags and signs of lying and betrayal. They can literally be their own worst enemy.
Women who don’t love themselves don’t trust other people as well because they cannot see the beauty and the goodness that lies within them. They only see their flaws and mistakes. They think they are unlovable and therefore when someone shows they love them; they are not sure what to do. Their first instinct is to escape because they think they are going to end up hurt and betrayed.
That’s why it can take some time before they start opening their heart and trusting again. They must first learn how to love themselves and accept them as they are. They must learn their value and trust that they deserve love and good things. And they deserve someone who will be patient with them and will stay with them on their path towards self-love.
There are many couples who would love to have more romance in their lives, but there are so many things standing in the way. Some couples have to juggle work, raising a family, and financial issues among other things, which can impact on the romance in their relationship. Others find it very difficult to afford anything but the bare essentials, which can impact what they can do as a couple.
Many people who want to spice up their physical relationship do so by investing in things such as sensual lifestyle product, but when it comes to the romance in your relationship you need to think of more heartfelt gestures. The good news is that you do not have to spend a fortune on being romantic, as there are plenty of things you can do that are very cheap or completely free – and will mean a lot to your partner. In this article, we will look at some affordable ways in which you can be more romantic.
Some Options to Consider
The good news is that you have plenty of simple yet very effective options open to you if you want to add more romance without breaking the bank. One very simple thing you can do is to simply surprise your partner with a romantic homecooked meal. All you need is the ingredients and some free romantic meal recipes that are available online. You can then rustle up something fabulous and create the perfect setting with candles, romantic music, and a beautifully laid table. You could even consider having your romantic meal on the patio in the nicer weather and have fairy lights to add a little extra magic.
Another very cost-effective romantic gesture is to whisk your partner off for picnic one sunny afternoon. All you need to do is get some simple picnic food together, pack some chilled wine and other drinks, and head off to the beach, park, or other local beauty spot. Of course, it may be that there are no suitable places that are within easy reach, in which case you can have your romantic picnic in your very own garden. This gives you a great chance to enjoy some fresh air, eat delicious and simple food, and enjoy one another’s company as a couple.
If time allows, you could consider taking your partner away for a couple of days so you can enjoy a change of scenery as well as some alone time away from day to day distractions. You don’t have to spend a fortune on doing this – you could even go camping for a couple of days where you can dine under the stars, enjoy adventure and excitement, and take in stunning natural beauty. There are plenty of affordable options for those who are on a budget and being able to get away from the stress of your normal life for a short while can work wonders for both of you.
So, these are just some of the options you can consider if you want to be more romantic, but you are on a budget.
Marriage counseling can make or break your marriage. You cannot go wrong with a marriage counselor. Learn how to find a good marriage counselor here.
They say happy wife, happy life. They also say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
All cliches aside, divorce rates are high, so everyone in a relationship has to put their ideals aside to work together. A happy and successful marriage only happens when you put your heads and hearts together to make it work.
Knowing how to find a good marriage counselor is the first step. Here are all the ways you can get the best marriage counselor possible.
Find Someone That Has Training and Qualifications
Any marriage counselor should have qualifications that are easy to verify.
You can get advice from anyone, but a marriage counselor should be a licensed and trained therapist. Verify first what college degrees they have and where they received them.
Ask them when they passed their medical boards and how long they have had their counseling license. The longer they have been around giving professional counseling to married couples, the better they will be in a place for you to trust them.
Be Sure That They Have the Ability to Be Impartial
No one wants to feel like they are under attack. Since you are going to a counselor to make your relationship better, it has to be a safe place for both of you.
Don’t choose a therapist that choose one side or the other. Also, don’t choose a counselor that doesn’t put the success of the marriage as the top priority.
Some therapists lean toward helping people figure out if they want a divorce as opposed to the success of the marriage. Divorce should always be on the table for a failed marriage, but an impartial therapist can help you work on the strategies that will actually help to save the relationship.
Look Into Some Different Counseling Styles
Just because marriage counselors are in the same line of work doesn’t mean they go about business the same way. There are all sorts of counseling styles that professionals use.
Psychodynamic counseling, existential therapy, humanistic counseling, interpersonal counseling, mindfulness counseling, and cognitive behavioral therapy are just a few of the styles that you might get.
No school of thought is right or wrong. The thing to think about is which style fits your personality and the relationship.
A different counseling style might also work better based on your relationship goals.
Know What You Need to Get Out of Going to the Marriage Counselor
There are always different reasons for going to the counselor. It’s always a good idea to get therapy, even if you don’t have anything currently wrong that you need to work through. This will teach you how to communicate with each other and will also make it easier to understand one another.
If you do have a major problem that you need to work through, you should state the specific goal. People that are dealing with infidelity or parenting differences should specifically state these issues so that they can start working through the problems one by one.
The better you know yourselves upfront, the better you can move forward as a couple through some solid counseling.
Assess Their Personality and Communication Styles
Therapists are also human beings so don’t just put all of your stock in their medical experience. You still need to find someone that is friendly and easy to talk to.
Energetically, they should put you at ease every time you speak with them. Their personality traits should match both what you and your husband or wife respond to. This way, you can start your sessions at neutral, rather than in the negative because your counselor’s personality already rubs you or the other partner the wrong way.
Use a Counselor That You Can Afford
Make sure that affordability is something that you put as a priority.
Going to the counselor is something that you will have to do once a week at a minimum if you want it to be effective. This is another bill that you will have to add to your living expenses.
If every counseling session costs $50 to $100, you need to be sure that it isn’t an issue for you to swing it. If one or both of you has health insurance that covers counseling, definitely find a therapist that is in your network.
Think About Any Spiritual or Religious Beliefs
The bonding and unity of your marriage is also a spiritual thing. You need to be sure that your counselor matches your spiritual beliefs.
If you both have a strong faith leaning, then perhaps choose a counselor that is also faith-based. If you’re atheist, you wouldn’t want a counselor that can’t see past their own spiritual beliefs.
Make this decision early so you can feel good in your heart about who you are hiring.
Ask About Their Own Personal Relationships
How is your counselor’s relationship?
Don’t feel that this is an intrusive question. You don’t need to pry into their personal business, but it is fair for you to want to know if your counselor currently has a successful marriage.
It doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker for you. But seeing if they are able to apply their expertise in real life can be helpful in choosing a counselor.
How to Find a Good Marriage Counselor
Knowing how to find a good marriage counselor will help your relationship. Choose a counselor to help your marriage before it becomes too late.
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Stop chasing him and giving him power. If you are not happy and satisfied with the minimal amount of affection he is giving you, then walk away from him. Don’t let him get away with it and think it is okay to not put an effort and hurt your feelings.
Don’t do it. Don’t let him do as he pleases. Don’t let him get away with things like that. Because, if you are sticking with him you are telling him that it is okay to mistreat you.
Stop chasing him because that makes him lazy. When you chase him, he wouldn’t bother anymore to send you messages and plan dates with you. He won’t chase you back because you will do all the heavy lifting for him. Stop doing it. Stop making it so easy for him.
And the more you continue chasing him, the more you’ll resent him. You might think now that you are happy just by having him in your life, but this phase will come to an end and you’ll hate him for every ignored text or call. You’ll resent him for every date he cancels and for having the nerve to screw you over and over, especially after everything you’ve done for him.
One day you will get tired of everything. You will become exhausted to be the only one fighting for the relationship. One day, you will realize that it is not fair and that by staying in the unhealthy relationship for that long you have broken your own heart when you should have left.
Because chasing him will do just that – it will break your heart. Your self-esteem will go lower and lower. You’ll wonder constantly why you are the only one putting effort and doing everything while he can’t even remember your birthday.
By chasing him, you are subtly telling him that he can reject or ghost you and come back as if nothing happened. He can ignore you for a month and then call you and everything will be fine because he knows you will forgive him and take him back with open arms.
He knows he has you right where he wants you. He knows you are not going anywhere while you are constantly worrying whether he will leave you for someone else.
Stop doing it! Stop torturing yourself and calling it love.
Don’t be the only one who tries. Leave this toxic relationship behind and find someone who will love you and put an effort into the relationship as much as you do. Because real and healthy love is all about mutual trust, respect, compromise, and willingness to work together as a team.