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The Unbearable Pain Of Trying To Forget Someone You Never Even Had

I Am Not Looking For ‘Almost’; I Am Looking For Forever

Last night, it happened again. I couldn’t fall asleep because I was thinking of you. I don’t even know why you are still on my mind. I promised myself that we are over and that I will move on, but somehow, I can’t. I’ve spent so much time looking down at my phone, hoping to see your name on my screen. I was missing you so much that I didn’t realize that I was losing myself in the process and letting myself down.

When I first met you, you were the light in my life. I had so much faith in us and our future together. I never thought we would ever grow distant. But we did. And it was brutal. It was one of the most painful breakups I have ever had even though we were never officially together.

And do you know how difficult it is for me to explain this to someone? How can I tell someone that I am grieving over someone I never even had? I spent many months with you, and when you were not with me, you were in my mind. We were texting and talking constantly. I shared everything with you. But, slowly, it all started to fade away until we stopped seeing each other entirely.

And what pains me the most is the fact that we could have been great together. We could have built something lasting. I believed in us. I believed in you. I fought for us and our connection, but I stopped when I realized that I was fighting alone.

The hurt from losing you is not any less just because we were not in a relationship. I loved you. I was physically, emotionally, and mentally invested in you. I enjoyed spending time with you that I ignored everything you said when you told me you didn’t want a relationship. And perhaps that’s where I made a mistake. Perhaps my hope that one day we will be together screwed me up.

How could I be so dumb? I am here, writing about you, thinking of you, losing sleep at night because of you while you are probably out there, dating and sleeping with someone else. You are with another girl while I am here still hurting while trying to get you out of my head and my heart.

I was looking for forever. I was looking for love and commitment and you involved me in a friend with benefits situation. I knew I didn’t deserve it but still, it was hard to let you go.

Now, a few months passed since we last kissed and held hands. I still talk to you from time to time, just so we make sure we are okay, and I see you around in town sometimes. We hug, we greet, we ask each other cliché questions. Our connection is lost and we both know that. And we are not trying to rekindle the fire that once burnt between us.

I wish you well, of course. But now I know what I want and what I deserve. And I am sorry that I couldn’t get it with you.

Outgrow Modern Dating: Likes And Chatting Make An Online Relationship, Not A Real One

Don’t be flattered by that person who likes all of your selfies on Instagram. 

Be flattered by that person who likes you for you: with your messy hair and no makeup, with your unshaved beard and beer breath. 

Don’t be flattered by the person who sends you heart emojis and memes, or sends you a good night text. That takes a second.

Be flattered by the person who is willing to change his relationship status for you and hold your hand in public. No doubts or hesitations. 

True, genuine love is not rendered by our phones and the texts we send with them. It is not rendered by virtual connections, on the contrary, it is rendered by two people going on dates, communicating, and finding their mutual hobbies and adventures. 

So, don’t be flattered if someone is acting all perfect on social media, but haven’t introduced you to their friends or family yet. 

Be flattered when you get to meet the inner circle of a person thanks to their own initiative. 

Be flattered when they welcome you in their world and shout out from the rooftop you are together.

Modern-day dating is often about physical beauty and who gets to text first. It’s also about appearances. 

What was that thing about appearances? Oh, they are deceiving. 

Virtual relationships are an inevitable stage of modernity. I get that. But after the likes, the comments, and the perfect selfies, you need something more. That something “more” is what will make the difference between a fling and a relationship. 

Show genuine interest in that person you want to be with, invest both in spending time, and creating memories with them.

Don’t be flattered by someone who gives you presents and plans special dinners for your birthday or for Valentine’s day only.

Be flattered if that special someone wants to spend every night with you and gives you presents on a random day.  

Sometimes, what you see is what you get. So, if that special someone is not willing to go the extra mile, take things at face value. If they want to form a life with you and grow old, you’ll notice how they are more present in your life than on social media. 

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Make Time For God Because He Loves You And He Is Always There For You

Log off from your Fb and Instagram profile for an hour. Don’t respond right away to that call. Turn off the tv. Cancel your plans for the rest of the day and just sit still. Find your quiet place and spend some time with God. God loves you very much, cares about you, and He has many things to say to you. He will calm your anxious mind and make you listen to your heart.

Always make time for Him regardless of your busy schedule. Because He also makes time for you. You could never feel His presence or hear His words if you are in a constant hurry. 

All the outside noises and disruptions are only keeping you away from Him, your God who loves you.

If you are reading this now you probably are aware of how much you are blessed by Him. He has given you life, ears to hear, eyes to see, a heart to feel, a brain to be aware and understand.

God knows the real you, and He loves and values you immensely. He knows what makes you happy. He knows what makes you cry. He knows what makes you angry. He knows how you feel at any particular time. He knows your fears. He knows your strong and weak sides.

Therefore, make time for him Because He is waiting for you. Always.

You can pray or you can just sit still. You can cry or laugh when you tell Him what happened to you during the day. You can do whatever feels natural to you because God always knows what you want to tell Him even before you tell Him.

God knows the real you. He knows who you were and who you will become. And the more you get to spend time with Him, the more you’ll start hearing His voice.

You are loved. Your unique, extraordinary, lovable, yet flawed soul is so loved by God. And He wants you to let Him in by making time to be alone with Him.

Take All The Time You Need To Heal Your Heart And Feel Like Yourself Again

We, human beings, are not made of stone. We have feelings and oftentimes our feelings get hurt. We all have experienced incredible sadness and we still crumble down and drown in sorrow. But, it’s during those times that we learn how to embrace our emotions.

Be angry. Be sad. Cry. Let your emotions out. They are there to remind you how you shouldn’t be feeling. Your emotions are there to humble you and break your heart so that it can open for new experiences and better things.

I also went through an emotional rollercoaster. The person who I thought loved me broke my heart. I was devastated. I never thought I could move on with my life. I realized that they never cared about me and what they could get from me. I was only a temporary convenience and they never planned on loving me the way I deserve to be loved.

And I think that this realization was what hurt me the most – when I found that I was not what they wanted. And that is okay. Now, I understand that I can’t be good and wanted by everyone I love. I can’t force someone into loving me. I can only control myself and my feelings.

During moments of deep pain and sadness, it is essential to do small things that make you happy. Go out with your friends. Buy yourself something. Book tickets for your next trip. Anything that will make you happy. Moreover, surround yourself with positive people who will make you forget all the pain that is in your heart. People who will make you smile again and show you that life is beautiful. Hold on to those people.

And never, never feel guilty for taking the time you need to heal and make yourself feel okay again. Everyone has a different pace in life and everyone’s healing is different. The only thing that you should remember is to be patient and know that good things come to those who wait.

A Grown And Mature Woman Won’t Settle For Your Excuses

I’m A Grown Woman And I’m Not Settling For Your Excuses

When a woman realizes she’s made it, and by ‘made it’ I don’t mean achieving some kind of financial gain or professional success, then she is unstoppable.

When she reaches a point in her life when she simply doesn’t care about anyone’s bullshit and she is done playing games and entertaining people who don’t deserve her time – then she is a powerful and unshakeable force.

Her motto in life is simply – “I am a mature woman and I won’t settle for your nonsense.”

She won’t settle for your drama. She is not a fan of constant arguments. She doesn’t like wondering where you are and whether you’ll call. She knows who she is and what she deserves, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated as an option.

She doesn’t want a bigger apartment, a bigger salary, bigger anything. She is satisfied with her life as it is. Because you know, some people want a normal and simple life.

She knows she’s not perfect nor she wants to be. She also doesn’t expect her partner to be perfect. She knows every person is flawed in their own way and she is not there to judge. What she does expect though, is love, empathy, kindness, and compassion.

She is confident in the way she looks and doesn’t need anyone that tries to change her. Yes, she has wrinkles, yes, she has under-eye circles, but she doesn’t need anyone to give her a lesson on skincare.

She also doesn’t need anyone to tell her to exercise and eat healthily. She exercises because it makes her feel good, not because she has some beauty standard to achieve. She is happy in her own body regardless of her weight. And yes, she will eat whole chocolate if she feels like it.

She surrounds herself only with people who truly love and understand her. She doesn’t need any toxic or unkind people in her life.

She loves herself and her life and she won’t allow anyone to toy with her.

Maybe Some Things Will Happen Only After We Learn How To Stop Comparing Ourselves To Others

Don’t Waste Yourself Loving Someone From Afar: You Deserve The Real Thing

You cannot force life to happen to you. You cannot force getting a better job, fall in love, or even harder yet, get someone else to fall in love with you.

You cannot force getting more money and going on that trip you’ve been planning for months. But, what you can do is stop stewing alone and take every adventure as it comes your way.

Never underestimate the power of new friendships, parties, theatre plays, mountain hikes, or new hobbies. Those things can lift you up just as much as anything else you daydream about. Because those things broaden your horizons and they make you enjoy your time here on Earth.

Everything will fall into place. Sometimes, when you least expect it, all the missing pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. Effortlessly.

The best thing to do is wait and make good use of the time ahead of you.

You better take your time to discover what is it you want before you lose everything else trying to chase goals imposed by society.

Goals that aren’t necessarily yours. Timing which isn’t necessarily yours and yet you chase it for the sake of fitting in. For the sake of conforming to other people’s expectations and standards.

Live your life the way you want to live it and in case you still haven’t fulfilled all your dreams, don’t stress about it. You are not lagging behind. We all walk down a different road and our life events cannot be synchronized.

I mean, just because every one of your friends is in a relationship, or married, or has children, it doesn’t mean that you have to rush to do those things as well.

We are the happiest when love and success surprise us, take us by storm. When they are unforced and spontaneous. We are the happiest when we do our thing; when we live life until life of another form happens to us.

I know you compare yourself to other people, but that’s not a realistic comparison.

You compare yourself to the image of them. You don’t compare yourself to that actual, ordinary, fallible person, but to their Instagram profile. And I know that you want to stop comparing yourself to others, and I know that’s easier said than done.

But trust me, there is a tremendous difference between people on social media and the people behind it.

We are all fragile.  We like to look better, more successful, more in love than we are. It’s all just smoke and mirrors. If you put social media aside for a while, if you look at the people through different lenses you’ll see yourself: with the same insecurities, doubts, dreams, cravings, and plans. Just different timing.

So stop chasing vapor. Focus on what’s already there and trust that you’ll get everything you want and need in life, if only you let loose and let life take its course.

We don’t dictate the order of events, but we do dictate our happiness, our perspective, our mindset. Remember, what you see and what’s real is not always the same.

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We Outgrow People Who Are Unable To Love Us The Right Way

We Outgrow People Who Are Unable To Love Us The Right Way

The reality is, we outgrow people who are not true and genuine with us. Those who are not honest. Those who say things we want to hear but never take action to prove them. Those who don’t give a damn about our needs and desires because they only care about their own. Those who expect us to accept them the way they are but are busy changing us and shaping us into the people they want us to be.

We outgrow people who don’t respect us and don’t appreciate us. Those who are fine regardless of whether they have us in their lives. Those who make us feel worthless and replaceable.

We Outgrow People Who Are Unable To Love Us The Right Way

We outgrow people who make us beg for their time and attention. People who make us feel like we are not worthy of them. People who put us last on their list of priorities. Those who never have time for us.

Because we reach a point of no return. When we remind ourselves of our worth and what we deserve, we will not be selling short ourselves ever again. We will turn out back to those people and walk away. We won’t be giving them our hearts and energy to someone who takes us for granted.

We are choosing ourselves. We are practicing self-love.

Because we don’t have time for people who don’t invest in us. We outgrow those who treat us as ordinary. Those who keep us around until they find what they are looking for.

We outgrow people who are unable to love us the way we deserve to be loved. Those who don’t contribute to our lives in any way. Those who make us question our self-worth.

We outgrow people who are not scared of losing us because they have never seen our value and they never will.

 

I am currently writing my first book titled Inside The Narcissist’s Psyche: His Ability To Make Victims Stay With Him Even Though The Pain They’re Feeling Is Unbearable” If you are interested to take a glimpse at it, follow this link and tell us whether you like the subject so that we can send you a  free chapter after we publish it.

The Right One Will Enter Your Life When You Are Living It As If You Are The Love Of It

The Right One Will Enter Your Life

The “right” one… Many of us are still looking to find that person with whom we will spend our life. The one who will be our friend, lover, confidant, our biggest supporter, the one who always motivates us, is kind to us, and loves us with all their heart. The one whose soul is as our soul.

But, what if “the one” never comes? What if you were able to look at your future and see that you won’t find true love ever? What then? What would you do differently in your life? What choices you would make?

Yes, I know that if you are like me, probably that information won’t change anything crucial because your life is not influenced by someone’s presence or absence thereof. The mere idea that I will meet my soulmate and then everything will fall into place didn’t stop me from loving myself and focusing on living my best life. Because I realized that I am already a whole person and I deserve to create the life I want to be living regardless of whether I am with someone or not.

I pay my own bills, I love my job, I have many hobbies and friends, I travel a lot, and I spend my free time learning new things and growing as a person. I put more effort into appreciating the relationships I already have in my life, the ones with my friends and family and I enjoy spending time with them.

I was raised to believe that my goal in life should be finding love, getting married, and having children. But, having broken free from that belief was the ultimate liberation for me. When I stopped being scared of ending up alone, many windows of opportunities opened up for me. I mean, I could live anywhere I want in the world, get the degree I always wanted to have, travel to the places I always wanted to visit and not worry whether my decisions will affect someone else’s life. Because sometimes, love, as wonderful as it is, can hold us back from doing the things we want.

When we stop looking to find the love of our lives, we have all the time in the world to focus on ourselves and become our own loves. We can pamper ourselves, challenge ourselves, and build ourselves up to the best version of ourselves. We can become our own soulmates.

Stop waiting and searching for “the one.” If it’s meant to find them, it will happen. Until then, focus on yourself and live your life freely, confidently, as you are the love of it. Instead of waiting for “the one” – be “the one” for yourself!

I Am Strong But I Still Need Someone To Hold My Hand

I am a strong person but I still need love. I need to have someone who will be there for me. Someone who will take my hand and tell me that everything is going to be okay. Someone who will take away all my fears and worries.

I am a strong and independent person, but sometimes I need a loyal person who will hug me and show me the meaning of true love. Someone who will feel like home to me. 

6 wedding blessings, prayers, and readings you will love

The order of the wedding is one that is meticulously planned, to make the day a fulfilled one. But while planning, three essentials must be present — wedding blessings, wedding prayer and wedding readings. These three items each have their importance to the couple, and you have to get it right. While you can borrow already made ones, there’s also space for leaving your touch, by writing your own.

Whichever choice you make, see our lineup of prayers, readings, and wedding blessing ideas below. If you are the hopelessly romantic type, you’ll also find unique wedding poems for your delight. They are either religious, romantic or traditional to suit your preference!

The Wedding Readings

Wedding blessing readings are sweet and heartfelt words that distill your relationship. Readings are sourced from different materials like the holy book, literature, movies, music and more. They can also be written by you if you intend to personalize it. With this, we’ve rounded up examples of wedding readings. Get inspired, whip out the cute diary from your bride’s box, and put something down.

  1. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their labor:

If either of them falls down,

one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

  1. By Rumi

May these vows and this marriage be blessed.

May it be like sweet milk,

this marriage, like wine and halvah.

May this marriage offer fruit and shade

like the date palm.

May this marriage be full of laughter,

our every day a day in paradise.

May this marriage be a sign of compassion,

a seal of happiness here and hereafter.

May this marriage have a fair face and good name,

an omen as welcome,

as the moon in a clear blue sky.

I am out of words to describe

how spirit mingles in this marriage.

 

The Marriage Blessings

Marriage blessings are more-or-less wedding wishes to the couple. The bulk of them is religious and traditional because they are well-grounded for generations. If you’re coming through wedding blessings quotes or texts, see some suggestions here.

  1. From The Church of England

Blessed are you, O Lord our God,

for you have created joy and gladness,

pleasure and delight, love, peace, and fellowship.

Pour out the abundance of your blessing upon the bride and groom in their new life together.

Let their love for each other be a seal upon their hearts

and a crown upon their heads.

Bless them in their work and in their companionship;

awake and asleep,

in joy and in sorrow,

in life and in death.

Finally, in your mercy, bring them to that banquet

where your saints feast forever in your heavenly home.

We ask this through Jesus Christ your Son, our Lord

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, now and forever. Amen.

  1. By Dave Willis

May your marriage always bring glory to God, joy to one another and blessings to your family for many generations to come. May love and laughter fill your hearts and your home for all at the days of your lives. May you face every challenge hand-in-hand and side-by-side knowing that with God’s grace, you’ll conquer all obstacles together. May the world be forever a better place because the two of you fell in love. In Jesus’ name, Amen

The Wedding Prayers

Prayer for the wedding ceremony is the blessing of your union. This is very important if you intend to honor your faith and connect it to something spiritual. Wedding prayers are full of positivity and suit any wedding. They aren’t always religious, as you’ll see below.

  1. By Max Lucado

Would you take these two,

of dust and bone,

Born of flesh, then you,

Would you make them one?

Would you speak again

The words you spoke

When Adam slept

And Eve awoke?

Would you let your wine

Replace our water.

And look with grace

On this son, this daughter?

Oh Lord of Eden

In your majesty

Create again

Your tapestry

One heart

Where there were two.

This is the prayer

We lift to you. 

  1. By Robert Louis Stevenson

Lord, behold our family here assembled.

We thank you for this place in which we dwell,

for the love that unites us,

for the peace accorded us this day,

for the hope with which we expect the morrow,

for the health, the work, the food,

and the bright skies that make our lives delightful;

for our friends in all parts of the earth.

Wedding blessings, prayers, and readings have been given in this post. Borrow or use them as templates for your wedding.

Moving On Doesn’t Mean Finding A New Person. It Means Finding Oneself

moving on

After a breakup, there are people who want to win the breakup by finding a new person quickly to fill the void that the ex-partner left.

Yes, I agree that relationships aren’t a game and after breaking up with someone instead of trying to find happiness in another person, you should focus on yourself and find a way to heal yourself while moving on with your life genuinely and gracefully.

Of course, no one wants to go through Facebook pictures of their ex with their new relationship while you are still alone and getting over it.

We all want to feel wanted and desired, especially after a painful breakup. However, the trouble comes when we start measuring our happiness by whether we have a new romantic partner.

Moving on has nothing to do with finding a new person. It is now about getting back on the dating game. And it is not about going into a new relationship, falling in love, and plan your happily ever after. No. It doesn’t work like that.

Moving on is taking back your life. It is investing in yourself and your life. It is following your dreams. Taking care of yourself. It is growing and learning. It is making peace with your past and finding love and peace within yourself.

As for me, after breaking a long-term relationship, followed by a career change, an apartment move, traveling, and a lot of reflection on myself and my life, I realized that during that process, I had forgotten all about him. And I managed to get over him without falling in love with someone else because during my grieving period, I stayed single. I haven’t even gone on dates.

So, for me, moving on had nothing to do with committing to a new person. For me, moving on meant welcoming a new phase of my life when I was in commitment to myself.

Of course, moving on is not the same for all people. Some people move on only by finding someone new. Others build a bustling career and are happy living their independent lives.

No two people are the same, and so, the healing process of moving on is different for everybody.

After all, moving on is simply being happy again without your ex. And never wanting to go back.

This Is Me, Giving Up On You And Finally Moving On To Something Better

I watched you how easily you made promises and I watched you break them all with the same easiness. I watched you tell lies and expecting me to believe them. I watched you burn all the bridges that I’ve built for our relationship to turn into something real. I also watched you turn into the coldest person I know while I was there, giving you all the love and warmth that I had for you.

And I stayed. I stayed through all the bullshit. I always found strength in my heart to forgive you because I was terrified of letting you go.

I believed in ‘us’ so much that I forgot about myself. I held onto you for so long, wishing and hoping that things will change. I trusted you with all my heart because I believed that you loved me too and that this rough phase will soon pass, and we will be happy together.

But, you only made me watch you break promises. You only made me believe that love is just a temporary feeling and it passes away. You forced me to see that staying with a person who makes you wonder where you stand with them is a complete waste of time.

And now, this is me – finally giving up on you and choosing myself.

This is me giving up on you because I realized that I have no future with you and that I deserve to have someone who will happily plan a future with me. I am walking away from you because I am finally done walking on eggshells trying to make you happy while you were taking me for granted and treated me as if I were disposable.

I am finally done dealing with your selfishness and emotional immaturity. I am not giving you another chance this time.

This time, I will focus on loving myself and giving love only to those people who love me back and put an effort and energy into our relationship.

This is me, telling you that you are no longer the love of my life. This is me, telling you that you are not allowed back into my life because I won’t let you ruin my happiness again and mess with my life.

This is me, saying my final goodbye and this time I don’t look forward to seeing you. Our paths will cross here, and I will never look back.

And I know that this is the best decision I’ve ever made.