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Blood Isn’t Always Thicker Than Water: Sometimes Toxic People Come Disguised As Family


They say blood is thicker than water, but I don’t agree.

They say family always comes first, but sadly, I don’t share that same sentiment. In my life, there have been a few beautiful souls that have done more for me than some members of my closest family ever did… What’s more important they are still there, and they will always be there…

The sad thing is, I can’t say the same about some people (relatives) that I once considered my family. It pains me to be this person, to talk like this. It pains me to write these words, but that’s the truth. It’s always been.

I haven’t had the perfect family that most of you guys have.

I haven’t had the privilege to rely on the way I should rely on my family.

In fact, through the years, life has put me through many struggles and family traumas to accept that saying and add it to my value system. I respect them, I do. And I’ve always done my best to be patient and forgiving, even when some of them never deserved my kindness…

But here’s the ugly truth.

Blood isn’t always thicker than water. Being related to someone does not guarantee you the loyalty, respect, care, and love from them. And the word family isn’t always what we want it to be. It isn’t always the safe haven that we see in moves and read in novels. It isn’t always the shelter that protects you from the world. Sometimes, these people can hurt you more than anyone else. And sometimes, they can inflict big wounds on you, instead of helping you heal…

















Coping with a broken family tie is a truly traumatizing and life-changing process. However, choosing to hold onto that tie instead of cutting it is even more traumatic. So much, that it will not only destroy your life, but it will always scar you in ways you’ve never even imagined.

I know it sounds bad and I  know that most people are very loud and judgmental when it comes to this topic, but I want you to know this…

There is absolutely no shame in walking away from people who bring out the worst in you. Even if those people are a part of your family, or they are close friends or loved ones you used to care for. If their absence gives you peace and makes you feel like yourself, you didn’t lose them. You made the right choice.

So, don’t be afraid. More importantly, don’t let someone take advantage of you and tell you it’s because they care. They don’t. So, don’t hesitate to walk away from such people. No matter who they are. Cutting ties with family members is not wrong. It’s called self-care. It’s choosing them before yourself that will make you suffer.

Remember, you deserve peace. So, if that means walking away and starting your own journey alone, then so be it. If that means losing some of the people who hurt you for years, then so be it. Choose to move forward, choose to heal, and please, choose to take care of your wellbeing. That is the only way you will ever find peace and happiness.

Stephanie Reeds