Moving on after a painful, heart-wrenching breakup is nasty. But growing apart from a friend that you’ve shared your life with is one of the hardest things in life. Trust me. I’ve been through both of these experiences. And even though I’ve somehow gotten over my last relationship, I think that I will never get over losing you, friend…
I’ve struggled for quite a long time. It took me a lot of time, but here I am.
This is my open and heartfelt letter to you, my dear friend.
To you, who cast me out of your life like I never existed. To you, who decided to leave me behind after everything that we’ve been through. To you, who broke my heart into million pieces and hurt me in a way I could have never imagined.
The truth is, I can blame you and be mad at you my whole life. I can even try to despise you for how you left. I can hate myself for making the mistake of letting you in my life. I can get angry and break all of our photos on my wall. I can talk bad about you to all of my other friends…
But that won’t change a thing.
It won’t change the fact that I miss you…
Yes, I can do all of those things above, but the truth is, it won’t matter.
What I can’t do is erase our memories. I cannot just put aside all of those years of friendship like nothing ever happened. I cannot be mad at you because no matter how much you hurt me, deep down I will always cherish the moments that we shared. I cannot hate you, because you were the most important person in my life. No matter what people tell me, I cannot pretend that you weren’t a big part of my life and just move on. It’s not as simple as it sounds.
I’m trying, but I don’t think I will ever manage to get over you.
I can’t hate you even though you left me behind.
I just can’t.
Some say that we were never really friends. That we never really shared something real. But I disagree. I know that our friendship meant the world to you as well. I know that there was a time when we only had each other to rely on. And I know that the connection we shared was real.
Your betrayal was the hardest thing that I have experienced in my life.
But despite it all, I still wish you all the best.
I will never understand your reason for cutting me off your life like that…
But I won’t judge you either…
So, this is me saying goodbye to you.
I hope you find what you were looking for.