It’s something that we all fear will happen to us – finding ourselves with a toxic man. Sadly, the majority of women will go through this awful situation. Being trapped in a toxic relationship can cause you so much emotional damage that you’ll begin to wonder if you’ll ever recover.
To every girl who’s been there, or even still is there, I know that it will get better. I’ve stood where you have and made it out on the other side. This is an open letter to all the women who have been destroyed by toxic men to tell you that you have the strength to overcome this.
You Lost Yourself
A toxic man will take away every piece of your identity. All he wants for you is for you to play the role of his pawn. He’ll strip away all your joy, your ambitions, all the little things that made you who you are. When you’re left with nothing, that’s when he’ll try to turn you into someone else.
I know you feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself that you can never get back. When I finally found the courage to leave my toxic partner, I wasn’t sure if I could be anyone if he wasn’t with me. Thankfully, that wasn’t true. After some time, you’ll slowly start to find yourself once again, piece by piece.
You’ll Remember Who You Are
You’ll remember the joy that you felt before he took it from you. It may not be right away, but it will slowly start to creep back into your life. You’ll remember excitement, fun, peace, and feeling safe.
Even if every one of your dreams has left you, you’ll be able to pick them up again. You’ll remember all the ambitions that you had before and pick up some new ones along the way. Although you may not know how to pursue them, you’ll relearn the confidence that it takes to go after the goals your toxic partner made you abandon.
It’s Hard When You’re Not Loved
A toxic man can’t love anyone but himself. Being in a relationship with one makes you question your self-worth. I know that being with that kind of person made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of being loved and that no one would ever care about me. That relationship made me hate myself.
Self-love is difficult to accomplish, especially once you’ve gone without love from the person who’s supposed to feel the most for you. Trust me when I say that you will learn to love yourself again. You’ll begin to understand that you are worth something, even if it’s something that you never felt when you were with him.
You may put yourself down for so many things, but think about which things you tell yourself that you hate. Is that really how you feel or are they just the ways that your toxic partner put you down? If you can begin to understand that you’re just used to hearing those horrible things from his mouth and not from your own mind, you’ll begin to realize how wonderful you really are.
You are Strong Enough to Keep Fighting
If you’re fresh out of a toxic relationship, then you’re probably feeling weak and vulnerable. I’m here to tell you right now that you aren’t weak. On the contrary, you have so much strength inside of you. If you were strong enough to leave that situation then you are strong enough to do anything.
Be patient with yourself. It takes time to better your mental wellbeing after someone has tormented and traumatized you for so long. Don’t expect yourself to feel wonderful overnight, learn to be happy with any progress that you make. Any change that you can make to improve your life, no matter how small it may seem, is a huge step. So be proud of yourself.
To every woman who’s lost themselves to a toxic man, you will be okay. It will take time, but you will learn to love yourself and enjoy life again. The bravest and hardest step that you needed to take was to walk away. Now that you’ve achieved that, you can conquer the world.
Do you know a woman who’s suffered at the hands of a toxic man? Share this article with them and let them know that there’s still hope for a happier life.