Manipulation isn’t always as obvious as we may think. It’s not always right there in front of you. It’s not always as visible as we may imagine. Sometimes it’s very well hidden. Some manage to hide it behind their promises of everlasting love. Some hide it under the veil of marriage. Some do it so carefully, that they even manage to fool us that it is all done for our own good.
It’s really a matter of skills when you really think about it. A combination of brains and wickedness.
The tricky part about this is the fact that not everyone has what it takes to tell when someone is manipulating them. However, that doesn’t mean that manipulation cannot be detected. It takes some time and perhaps, even some help from others, but manipulation can be uncovered and dealt with.
Here are some signs that will help you make a difference between a loving partner and a manipulative one:
1. They constantly blame you for everything. For your disagreements. For their feelings. For your problems. For their failures. Literally everything. It feels as though you will always be the one to blame, no matter what you did. Even when you did nothing.
2. They are always checking on you. With the excuse that they really care about and want to know if you are okay. But, let’s be honest. You are perfectly aware that they aren’t checking on you because they care so much, but because they have this crazy need to always know where you are. If it was up to them, they wouldn’t even let you out of the house.
3. They lash out very often, but their explanation is because they care. It’s always the same. They yell, and they say it’s because they care. They have a mental breakdown before you because you went out without letting them know and they say it’s because they love you and they want to be with you every single moment of their lives. Excuse me, but control isn’t love.
4. They constantly let you know that they could never live without you. Not in a cute way, but rather in an “I’ll kill myself if you leave me” way. You don’t need me or your friends to tell you that this relationship is toxic.
5. They like to compare you to their exes. Don’t even get me started on this. Exes are exes for a reason. It’s because we decided to part ways with them and leave them in the past. Which only proves that a person who compares you to their exes is not someone you need in your life. That person does not love you for who you are. They are obviously with you because you remind them of their ex-partner. This brings a lot of other issues that you, my friend, do not need in your life.
6. They enjoy telling you how much you eat or drink. They simply throw it in your face like it’s nothing. “If you keep eating like this, we’ll have to buy a new bed” or the classic, “Hey, I think you’ve had enough drinks for one night”. This is not funny, nor it is sweet. It shows disrespect and it shows that your partner actually finds pleasure in mocking you in front of others. A person like that does not deserve to be a part of your life.
7. They sacrifice themselves for you, but they do it in a way that makes you feel like you owe them something. They do things for you, but then, as soon as you two get into a fight, they throw them in your face, saying that you do not deserve someone like them. They are right. You deserve much more. You deserve a real person that would love you and treat you right. For a person who genuinely loves you would never try to manipulate you.