Saying yes to a person who wants to spend their entire life with you is a big step. Wait, let me rephrase that. It is one of the biggest, most important, life-changing decisions. It marks the end of an era and the beginning of another one.
And it is indeed sunshine and rainbow. I’m telling you from my own personal experience. There is no other feeling like it. There is nothing more heartwarming and uplifting than loving someone so much that you want to spend the rest of your lives together.
However, there is one thing that most couples forget to do in the process, that very often backfires at them when they least expect it. And that, my friends, is communication.
Before you agree to spend your entire life with someone, you have to know whether or not you two are on the same page about the most important stuff in life. Rushing into marriage without going over those things first will not solve your problems. Quite on the contrary, it will only create more.
Below are 10 questions that you and your partner need to discuss before getting married:
1. Kids. Do you see yourself with kids in a few years? Or do you perhaps wish to live a childless life? This is one of the most important subjects that you both need to agree on if you want to be happy together.
2.Your families. Another very crucial factor that you have to take into consideration when saying yes to a future with someone. If there are things that need to be addressed, it is best to address them before it’s too late.
3. Building your dream home. Does your taste match? Who is going to pick the furniture and choose which kind of tiles are best for the kitchen? You need to be able to compromise and come to an agreement when it comes to this.
4. Bills. The sooner you go over this, the better off you’ll both be. Are you going to be in charge of the bills and your partner of the monthly grocery supplies? Or you’ll have a joint account once you move in? Talk it out. Go through all the possible combinations and choose what suits you the best.
5. Your home. Your idea of a dream house may be a small, wooden house in the woods, far away from people, but your partner’s idea might be something completely different. While this might not seem like that big of a deal, it is important to understand that you both need to be comfortable in a place to call it home. Compromising is the only way.
6. Personal space. Ah, space. I am sorry to bum you out like this, but you won’t have the same personal space once you marry. It won’t be about what you want anymore. After you two marry, it will be about both of us. You have to find a way to make your union a peaceful haven, not hell.
7. Secrets. There is only one thing I have to say about secrets in relationships. There should be none. You and your partner should feel comfortable sharing everything with each other.
8.THE question. WHY? Why do you want to spend your life together? Is it for the right reasons or because you feel pressured? More importantly, are you 100% positive that you want to share a life together? Ask yourself these questions. And don’t be afraid of the answers.
9.Support and understanding. Do you know each other’s dreams and support one another’s goals? Are you okay with what they want to do in life? Are you still going to be there for them, no matter what they choose to do? Do you accept and love them for who they really are?
10.Trust. People in love are convinced they trust each other. But do they really? Or that’s just something they often say to calm their insecurities until their jealousy resurfaces when they least expect it and makes them go nuts? Trust is one of the most important things you need to go over before stepping into marriage with someone. Don’t be afraid to ask yourself these questions. And if you are, that is an even bigger sign that you need to give yourself some time before you make that life-changing step.