Dear Girl who’s tired of being treated like a second choice,
You feel like you’re everyone’s second option. And you know that you’re better than being someone’s second choice or backup plan, and yet here you are, always being treated this way.
I know how you feel. I know you hope that others will no longer treat you like a second choice. You hope that you will be someone’s first choice. Someone’s everything.
I know all of this because I’ve been in your shoes before. I’ve been treated like a second choice many times. I’ve been made to feel unimportant and useless a lot of times.
No, no one deserves to be treated this way.
You care so much about others. You care so much about the people you hold dear that you have trouble telling them that you’re hurt by their actions.
You care so much about your loved ones that you allow them to hurt your feelings and you make sure you never hurt theirs.
You allow those you care about to make you believe that you’re not good enough. That you’re not smart enough. That you’re not strong enough. That you’re weak and unimportant. That you’re full of flaws.
But the only flaw you have is that you love with your entire heart. You love selflessly and unconditionally. You love hard.
You’re willing to make compromises and sacrifice your own needs and wishes for the people you love. You put your loved ones’ feelings, needs, desires, and problems before your own. You’re not afraid to go the extra mile for them and you’ll do anything for them without asking for anything in return.
You make sure you’re always there for those you care about. You make sure you’re never the reason behind their sadness. You make sure they have everything they need to feel happy and fulfilled.
And that’s okay.
But, what you need to understand is that not everyone deserves your attention, care, and love. Not everyone deserves your kindness, patience, compassion, and commitment. Not everyone deserves a place in your heart.
Those who don’t respect you, those who make you feel like you’re not good enough, those who make you beg for their attention, and those who treat you like a second choice don’t deserve a place in your life, let alone your heart.
That’s the reason why you need to be very careful about what kind of people you choose to devote your time and energy to.
You need to sort out your priorities, too. You need to stop prioritizing other people’s needs, feelings, and wishes over your own. You need to stop allowing others to shape your happiness and determine your worth.
Because chances are that you’ll never be everyone’s first choice. And that’s okay as long as you are always your own first choice. It’s okay as long as you choose yourself.
No, I’m not saying that you should be selfish and disregard the needs and feelings of other people. All I am saying is that you always have to choose yourself. You have to practice self-care and self-acceptance. You have to love yourself. Because if you don’t take care of and love yourself, you’ll never be able to genuinely take care of and love others.
And most importantly, you need to be aware of your worth. Regardless of how others treat you, you always need to remember that you’re good enough, smart enough, and strong enough. You need to remember that your worth can’t be determined by what others think of you or the way they treat you. And you must never settle for being someone’s second choice.
You’re so much more than what others will ever think or say about you. And just one person needs to know that …