We have all dealt with toxic people at some point in our life. Toxic people are extremely damaging. And their toxicity and the damage of their behavior lies in its subtlety. Oftentimes you cannot see it coming until it’s too late and the harm is done.
These people make you question yourself constantly – “Am I overreacting?” “Am I good enough?” “Did I do something wrong?”
If you want to recognize them before it’s too late, below is a list of 8 things that all toxic people do to mess up with you and how you can stop them for inflicting damage on you.
1. They never act the same.
One day they are the most wonderful and charming person you know, and the next day they ignore you completely and give you the silent treatment. So, it’s natural to start wondering what you have done or said that upset them, and immediately try to get things right with them. But you can’t. Because they are toxic. They will give you the cold shoulder anytime you approach them to talk and figure things out. Understand that it’s not about you and let it go. Let them be.
2. They come at you out of the blue.
Without warnings. They’ll attack you over the smallest things. Sometimes, all they need is a phone call and the show can begin. They’ll insult you mercilessly and you’ll immediately start feeling guilty and thinking of ways to make up to them. Be mindful of this and don’t allow them to behave that way toward you. Don’t let them involve in their drama and take advantage of the goodness in you. If they get angry, let them be angry.
3. They never apologize.
Facts and logic don’t mean anything to them. They are never wrong, so they don’t feel a need to apologize to anyone. They will twist the facts and the reality to get their way. The best strategy for you is to not expect them to apologize. If they want to be right, let them be right and you be happy and peaceful because in your heart you’ll always know the truth.
4. They are masters at using innocent but hurtful language.
Maybe they say the nicest things, but the tone with which they say them is condescending and hurtful. Their snide remarks are aimed at destroying your self-confidence and belittle you. The best thing you can do in this situation is to know your worth and not allow their toxic words get to you.
5. You always feel like you owe something to them.
They’ll do you a “favor” or give you a gift so that they can have something from you in return. They always make you feel in debt to them. They give you something even if you don’t ask about it only to have control over you. Best is to not accept anything for them.
6. They project their feelings on you.
They can come at you aggressively, saying “What’s your problem?” and leave you shocked because you will not know where that came from. But remember, it is never about you – it is about them. Toxic people tend to project their feelings toward others because they refuse to take responsibility for them. And can you blame them? How can you expect an immature and toxic person to own up their feelings?
7. They will go offline just to punish you.
You are in a middle of discussing something or planning an outing with them when suddenly they disappear! Just like that. They go offline, and you can’t reach them. They don’t respond to your texts and calls. So, you start wrecking your mind asking yourself where you went wrong. Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong. They just couldn’t handle the situation and instead of letting you ‘win’ they decided to ghost you.
8. They can’t have a decent conversation to resolve issues.
Compromise? What’s that? Toxic people don’t have a sense of logic nor do they would ever agree to compromise with you on something. They are not interested in solving issues. So, make yourself a favor and refuse to deal with them. Don’t try to talk to them. Just leave.