Struggling with an abusive and manipulative relationship is a painful and destructive experience. It is being trapped in a maze with no way out. It’s being deprived of your greatest dreams and right for happiness.
It’s being manipulated into oblivion that your life doesn’t matter.
A wicked and dexterous hunter knows exactly when and where to strike. It carefully observes its victims and attacks when they are at their most vulnerable.
And finally, when the new victim is caught in the trap, that’s when the real nightmare begins.
It becomes too difficult to remain sane and conscious of your own needs. It’s really hard to fight against an oppressive human being who lives to destroy your world and use the debris to build their own.
Because even if you somehow manage to escape the grips of the wicked narcissist, you are still left with those open, bloody wounds all over your body. However, there is a chance for every one of us.
You can heal, and you can keep on moving forward leaving that ugly and painful experience way behind you.
Here are 8 important phases of recovery after a narcissistic abuse:
1. YOU FIRST NEED TO DECIDE TO HEAL
The relationships you’ve experienced was devastating and made you lose every sense of self. But, the important thing now is that you got out in time. You pulled yourself up and escaped the prison before it got too late.
So, the only thing you can do now is to decide whether you want to face the monsters inside of you and heal or stay miserable forever.
2. YOU NEED TO GET RID OF THE TOXICITY IN YOUR SYSTEM
I know, it can never happen overnight. The pain you suffered is great and heavy. You will need some time to adjust to living your life just the way you want to, instead of slaving for some ungrateful person who only cares about their needs.
But, you need to start slowly, by getting rid of the toxicity in your soul. Talk to friends, join support groups, anything that will help you get over it and start living your.
3. AND DEAL WITH THE SITUATION
Face the horror. Accept the dangerous situation you’ve been in. You’ve been hurt, you’ve been wounded, your heart ached but now it’s time to face it all.
You have to be strong enough to accept the severity of the situation in order to keep moving on. Deal with it, confront your scariest demons, embrace them and release them.
Breathe. You are finally free.
4. ALLOW YOUR SELF TO FEEL THINGS, EVEN IF YOU FEEL ANGRY
Don’t hold your feelings inside of you. They are hurtful, but they need to be felt and accepted in order to be released. Scream from the top of your lungs, cry your heart out, isolate yourself, talk to a therapist, but don’t bottle your feelings up.
5. ADMIT TO YOURSELF THAT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE FOOLED
You knew what you are getting yourself into, but you decided to stay because of that tiny glimmer of hope that one-day things might actually change for you.
Confessing to yourself and taking responsibility for your actions or the lack of them, is one of the crucial stages of recovery.
6. FORGIVE YOURSELF
But, don’t forget to forgive yourself.
Yes, you played with fire, and you didn’t know any better than that, but you have to accept the fact that we’re all human. We all make mistakes.
The only way we can start healing is by first accepting the ugly truth and forgiving ourselves for our mistakes.
7. RESPECT THE NO-CONTACT RULE
This is very important. You have to know that they won’t stop. They won’t let you escape that easy. They’ll try to get you back in any way possible. They will lie to you, make surreal promises and manipulate you until you come back. It’s what they know best.
At this moment, it’s best to listen to your rational mind. Your heart will be too weak to make the right decision. So, no… don’t follow your heart.
Do what’s right even if you feel torn up. Get as far as you can from that person and focus on your wellbeing. You deserve it.
8. EMBRACE THE CHANGES AND LET GO OF ALL THE PAIN
You might have been unconsciously lured in and trapped in their prison, but after a while, you became aware of your surroundings. The thing is, at this point, you were too exploited and manipulated to make the step towards freedom.
However, you let yourself out and finally found the courage to change your reality. Embrace the change, no matter how strange and weird it is. Beautiful things are ahead of you!
Image: Wladimir Jara S.