One of the primary need that we as human beings have, is to love and be loved back. There is no greater thing than that. But, if this is true, then why do people repeatedly choose partners that are wrong for them?
And while they are fully aware that they are not happy in the relationship, still they decide to stay. Why? Why would someone choose to stay in a relationship that is not making them happy?
Here are 7 fundamental reasons.
REASON #1: PAIN
Sometimes the mere thought of breaking up with a loved one can bring an enormous amount of pain and a feeling of loss in us, that we couldn’t imagine being in that situation.
But, you must remember that after a break-up it is completely normal to feel wounded and feel an enormous amount of pain. Break-ups are hard. But, it is much more difficult to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
REASON #2: FEAR
Fear is the main reason why some people never confront someone that has wronged them, why they struggle to ask their boss for a raise, and why they stay in wrong relationships. Usually, the decisions made from fear are the worst decisions.
And while someone is battling whether or not they should leave their partner, the worst kinds of fear emerge. Fear of being alone. Fear of meeting someone new. Fear of being rejected. Fear of seeing your partner with someone new. Fear of never getting over them. Fear of not finding someone better.
You must understand that it is also normal to be afraid. But your fears should not stop you from doing what you know in your gut that you should do.
REASON #3: FAMILIARITY
All human beings are unconsciously drawn toward familiarity. We like things and people that are close and familiar to us. We like our comfort zones. When we are in a relationship, we see our partner as someone who is ‘home’ to us. And it doesn’t matter if they are wrong for us, we still feel safe in their presence and leaving them triggers instant feelings of anxiety.
But, you can’t live in your comfort zone forever. Especially if ‘your comfort zone’ is toxic for you. You should get out as soon as you can and find out what truly makes you happy.
REASON #4: LOW SELF-WORTH
We all have high and low moments in our lives. Our self-esteem plays the crucial role in our lives and in our relationships as well. Nothing destroys a relationship more than a chronic low self-worth. And if you are constantly having low self-esteem you are sabotaging your relationship and your happiness.
When you are in that state, you tend to accept much less than you deserve. So, you also have a hard time leaving a toxic partner behind because your self-worth is so low that you don’t think you deserve better.
Please, start working on your self-esteem. Regain your power and worth and you will start seeing positive changes happening to you. It can be a long process, but it is sooo worth it!
REASON #5: PRESSURE
Sometimes there is a pressure from society and from our family. That after reaching a certain age we are expected to be married, have kids, and so on. This pressure can be so great that sometimes people unconsciously decide to stay in bad relationships because they don’t want to disappoint their family and the expectations of society.
But this is wrong. This is your life that we are talking about. Are you sure that you would spend your whole life with a partner who doesn’t make you happy only because you think that that’s the right thing to do?
REASON #6: LONELINESS
Many people decide to stay in bad relationships because they are incomplete on their own, so the only way they can feel fulfilled is if they are in a relationship (even a bad one). They fear to be lonely more than anything in the world.
If you are feeling this way, please know that you and only you can complete you. You have to be happy on your own and not expect to find your happiness from your relationship only. Start your healing process by breaking up any relationship that is bad for you and start working on yourself.
REASON #7: ADDICTION
Your partner is your drug. You know they are bad for you and they are destroying you little by little, but you are powerless when it comes to them. You can’t manage to leave them. One day you say it is over, and the next day you are asking to see them to get your ‘fix’.
Remember, the “special bond” that you think you have together is not real. It is your illusion of what you want it to be. Your toxic partner will make a mess out of your life if you don’t leave them. And fast.
This is so true. I am addicted, lonely, afraid of the pain I’ll cause him, afraid of the pain I’ll have to endure myself, insecure, feeling like I’ll be alone for the rest of my life (Im not young)….
So many reasons I can’t break it off. Yet I cry myself to sleep most nights