What makes people vulnerable to narcissists? What makes them gravitate toward those who manipulate and abuse them only to fulfill their own selfish needs? And most importantly, why it is so difficult for them to get out and leave the narcissist behind?
Children who were emotionally ignored and abandoned by their parents while they were growing up are prone to attract narcissist. That’s because a child who grew up in a cold home, a child that was disconnected from its emotions for a long time, will turn into an adult who continues to neglect their emotional needs and who is satisfied with crumbs of love and affection.
Here are 4 ways why being emotionally neglected during childhood make you vulnerable to narcissists.
1. You aren’t aware of your needs and desires and that’s what makes you inclined to theirs.
Narcissists may not be aware of themselves and their behavior, but they are super aware of their wants and needs. In fact, that’s everything they care for and they will do anything to fulfill them. They don’t care if they harm someone in the process, and some of them actually enjoy hurting others. They enjoy the pain of other people because it gives them a sense of importance.
These people can recognize vulnerable people who don’t ask for too much but are natural givers. That way, they can have their desires and needs met without bothering to do the same thing for the other person.
2. Growing up with your feelings being ignored for so long makes you feel deeply unimportant.
If you grew up in a home where your parents abandoned you and were ignoring your feelings, then it’s only natural that you got accustomed to being treated as unimportant and not being acknowledged for who you are.
Narcissists, on the other hand, require constant praise, admiration, and adoration from others in order to feel good about themselves. Because of your deeply sealed feelings inside you of not feeling good and worthy enough of someone giving you the love and attention you deserve, you are vulnerable to attract the narcissist who will suck out your love and energy without giving you anything in return.
3. Living in a cruel and emotionless world can make anyone feel empty and dreary.
Most of the people who grew up with emotionally distant parents say that they often feel different from other people. They say that they feel numb, empty, and bleak. They see their world as black or white while it seems to them that the world of other people is bright and colorful.
As opposed to them, narcissists live their life to the fullest. That’s not a bad thing per se, but they live their life not caring about the feelings of others. They have no sense of shame or guilt and that’s why they can be very cruel to everyone around them. These characteristics make narcissists shine brightly with alluring charisma that attracts abandoned children to them because they seem to have all that the unloved children don’t.
4. You are not in touch with your feelings.
Emotions are there to guide us and help us find our path. They help us survive and make us aware of our surroundings so that we can protect ourselves.
If your emotionally distant parents ignored your feelings during your childhood, then you may have difficulties expressing yourself because your emotions have been blocked since childhood. Therefore, you may not feel hurt or angry when you are supposed to feel hurt or angry. This makes you a perfect prey for the narcissist because they can easily manipulate your feelings.
If you’ve recognized yourself in this article, then you have probably suffered from childhood emotional abandonment that leads you to fall for people with a narcissistic personality disorder.
It is a difficult mental state, but you can change it. The first thing you should do is become aware of your condition and start treating yourself and your feelings with respect. Also, you can always ask for professional help to guide you through the healing process.
With a strong will and determination, you can do it. You can break free from the chains and the traumas from your childhood.