Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want to. Sometimes it blesses us with wonderful experiences and gives us people who love us deeply, but sometimes it puts us to the ultimate test and faces us with difficult obstacles.
I won’t sugarcoat it for you, it can get really scary and ugly when that happens. Especially if you’ve never ever had an experience like this. But you know what they say… What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. And even though this sounds pretty extreme, there is some truth in it.
If you’ve been in a toxic relationship and successfully got out of it, you are a true warrior. You’ve managed to survive this difficult part of your life and you kept moving regardless of the pain. But what comes next is even more challenging.
Now you have to learn what self-care means. It will take some time and some adjustments, but you will get there. Here are 10 ways to love yourself after ending a toxic relationship:
1. Give yourself permission to do whatever you feel like doing. Stop for a second and breathe. Allow yourself to enjoy freedom. Stay alone for as long as you need. Don’t jump into relationships right away. Enjoy the silence. Make friends with yourself.
2. Release yourself from your memories of them. Delete everything that reminds you of that painful part of your life. Erase every message. Change your number. Change your surroundings. Help yourself heal. Do whatever it takes to help yourself realize that you are finally free. Free from their vicious claws. Free from their cage of torment. You have your voice now. Make sure you’re heard.
3. Forgive yourself. Hug that wounded soul of yours and forgive yourself for every mistake that you’ve made. Make a promise to yourself that you will take care of yourself and you will never ever let anyone hurt you.
4. Surround yourself with unconditional love. Reconnect with all of those people that you’ve lost contact with. Call your friends and let them know how much you wanted to hear their voice. Make dinner for your parents. Invite your colleagues for drinks. Adopt a pet. Remind yourself what it feels to be loved.
5. Leave your past behind you. Stop thinking about what could have happened if you were smart enough to leave the relationship earlier. Stop trying to figure out why it happened to you. Instead, accept the fact that it happened and move on. Life is not over yet. In fact, the best is yet to come.
6. Apologize to the people you’ve hurt. You weren’t yourself for a long time. That made you hurt a lot of people. Don’t waste your time regretting your decisions. Instead, find those people and apologize for everything that you’ve done to them. Try to rebuild what’s been broken.
7. Fall in love with yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. A flawed, imperfect individual who has made a lot of mistakes. Stop seeing yourself as a broken person whose hopes have been shattered and start behaving like a fighter. Treat yourself. Take good care of your needs. Learn what self-love really means. Love yourself the way you wish they loved you.
8. Give yourself all the time you need to grow. Don’t rush anything. If you need to stay low key for a while do it. If you need your space to work things out with yourself, isolate from the world. Let yourself heal at your own pace.
9. Find a way to express yourself. Write. Sing. Take photographs of everything around. Draw. Exercise. Hike. Run. Teach. Express your emotions in a way that makes you happy.
10. Focus on the present moment. Learn to live in it without regretting your past mistakes or worrying about the future. Look towards it, but don’t lose yourself trying to make it perfect. Appreciate every day, live in the moment and let life guide you.