I get it. You’ve had a painful past. A life full of mistakes. You’ve lived through tough and challenging times. You’ve experienced disappointment in many forms, you’ve struggled to get your life together. You’ve made mistakes that took you down a road that you never chose. You’ve made decisions that you instantly regretted.
But you know what? You’ve also lived through happy and joyful times, felt what is like to be alive, experienced moments that are worth keeping in your heart forever. You’ve also felt happiness. Or have you forgotten? Are those memories not worth mentioning? Because I think they are.
I think you are taking your precious life for granted and choosing to focus only on the bad, without realizing that there is so much beauty out there. And it is only because you are still mad at yourself for making those wrong choices. You are still not ready to forgive yourself once and for all and embrace your past as it is. Get it through your head. No amount of crying, lamenting, pitying, and blaming yourself will ever change what has been done. No matter what you do, you will never have the power to change the past.
What’s done is done, what’s gone is gone. Just accept it. Just like that.
Gather all of your painful memories, embrace them as a part of your life, and understand that if it wasn’t for them, you wouldn’t have become the person you are today. You don’t even know where you would have been if you haven’t experienced all of that. The pain, the sorrow, the tears, the sleepless nights, the trauma, the suffering, they all raised you and created the person that you are today.
So, accept them. There is no point in digging up the past. You are only wasting your time here.
Things may not look as you imagined them. As you expected them to be. But ask yourself one thing. Can you change them? If you can, then do it. But if you can’t, the only thing you can do is find the strength inside of you to accept them and carry on with your journey. It is not as easy as it sounds, but it is your responsibility. You can’t turn back time and undo what has been done, but you can pretty much choose the way you respond to it.
If you decide to hold onto your regrets, you’ll condemn yourself to a life of pain and misery. But if you decide to forgive yourself for all of your mistakes, accept the path that life has given to you, you will be surprised how wonderful life actually is.
Focus on the now. I know it’s the biggest cliché you’ve ever heard, but it is the truth. The only truth that you need to hear and base your life. Embrace your mistakes and focus on what you can do right now. Focus on creating the best of your life. Right here, right now. Keep your eyes on your dreams, but learn to enjoy the ride. No matter how challenging it sometimes gets.
You may not get a second chance to bring back time and change the things you regret, but that doesn’t mean that you have to spend your entire life asking yourself “What if…?” Be strong enough to embrace what cannot be changed and just move on. Free yourself from the burden you’ve been carrying for years and focus on the present. You owe it to yourself.
It’s the only thing you can do anyway.