I feel your pain. I understand your struggle. You’ve been through so much heartache, so much disappointment and so much sadness, that you no longer believe that the Universe has something good in store for. You’ve lost all faith.
And it is okay. I get it. How could you not…
But while I do understand your struggle, I can’t help but wonder…
Have you ever thought that the only reason for your relationship failures is perhaps you?
No? Well, it is time to reflect on yourself and accept some truths.
If you are struggling to find a decent relationship, it is most likely that the problem lies within you. Not in society, not in your family, not in your relationship partners… But in you.
Here are 7 kinds of behaviors that you need to avoid if you want to have a shot at finding a real relationship:
1. Trying to score with someone who is already taken. If the person you are trying to have a relationship with happens to already have a significant other, then the best thing you can do in a situation like this is move on and find your luck someplace else. You cannot expect a lot of affection or attention from someone who is already committed.
2. Having ridiculously high standards. I am not saying that you should say YES to a relationship with just about anyone. I am saying that you should perhaps consider getting rid of your unrealistic expectations of what a good relationship is. Don’t judge people based upon your first impression of them. Give them a chance to prove themselves.
3. Being negative. If you are someone who has trouble finding the bright side of life, know that this is one of the main reasons why you struggle to find a decent relationship. No one wants to be around people who constantly focus on the dark side of life.
4. Being overly critical and judgmental of yourself. You know how it goes. If you want to be loved and accepted by others, you first have to fall in love with yourself and accept the real you. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.
5. Applying the deal-breaker rule to every date. Sure, we all have different deal breakers that we often base our decisions on and that’s good. But losing yourself in the idea that the right person for you must fit this mold of perfection to be accepted by you will not help you on your love quest. You will never find a partner who is 100% perfect for you. So, don’t let your ridiculous, unrealistic standards keep you from finding a relationship that works. Focus on the positive aspects and try to accept the negative ones.
6. Being too afraid of getting hurt. And what if you get hurt? What’s the beauty in life if you don’t risk it to find the greatest joy on earth? What is the meaning of our existence if we don’t love from the very bottom of our vulnerable hearts? Let go of those fears and allow yourself to feel your feelings.
7. Thinking that you’d have to give up who you are to be in a relationship. Being in love doesn’t mean giving up on your identity. Whoever told you that, lied to you. Let go of the idea that you need to sacrifice your freedom to find a relationship that works. Love is meant to free you, not cage you.
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