I recently broke up with someone who I thought would be the person that I’d marry one day. This was someone who had everything that I thought I wanted – intelligence, a good sense of humor, generosity. However, there was one thing that was completely destroying the relationship as well as hurting me.
The person that I left pushed me too hard. Instead of cheering me on when I needed it, they scolded me for everything that they perceived as being wrong. It’s something that I now know that no one deserves to go through. No matter what, you need to be with someone who doesn’t push you, but who encourages you instead.
Be With Someone Who Knows That You’re Strong
Even if you don’t believe it now, you are a strong person. You’ve made it through everything that life has thrown at you and you’ve made it to the other side. One day, you’re going to realize just how much strength you really have.
That realization can’t just stop with you, however.
In addition to knowing your own strength, your partner should know it too. The person that you love should be able to understand and appreciate that part of you.
So, don’t let someone push you around and force you to be strong. Instead, be with someone who already knows that you’re strong. Date someone who sees that trait in you and encourages it. Let them be your support in your weakest times, not your biggest challenge.
Be With Someone Who Raises Your Confidence
You should be with someone who tells you that you’re beautiful, not someone who insults you because your hair is a little messy.
You should be with someone who offers to work out with you, not someone who scolds you for not going to the gym or for eating an extra slice of pizza.
When you’re in a relationship, your significant other is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. Their presence alone should give you the confidence that you need to go about your day feeling great. If all they do is put you down and tell you all the ways that you could improve, you don’t need them in your life.
Be With Someone Who Appreciates Your Intelligence
Nothing is worse for your self-esteem than being around someone who thinks that you’re an idiot. Trust me, you never want to settle for someone like that. If you do, they will belittle you and act condescending towards you to no end.
Never be with someone who looks down on you for the things that you don’t know. The only person worth being with is someone who will give you knowledge when you need it.
More importantly, they should be confident enough to allow you to teach them too.
Likewise, don’t waste your time on someone who underestimates you, who acts like you don’t know anything. If they laugh at you for not understanding something or cut you off because they think that they know better, they’re just an as*hole who isn’t worth your time.
You are an intelligent person and you deserve to be with someone who encourages you to keep learning.
I’ve learned that in relationships, both people need to support one another. They need to encourage each other to be better people and grow together too. A relationship with someone who just pushes you past your limits will never work. That kind of dynamic will only ever make you feel awful about yourself. So please, don’t be with someone like that, no matter how much you feel like you love them.
Not everyone understands the difference between being pushed and being encouraged. Share this with your friends to show them just how important that distinction is, especially in romantic relationships.