Home Love & Relationships You Can’t ‘Fix’ Someone Who Has Anxiety Because They Are Not Broken

You Can’t ‘Fix’ Someone Who Has Anxiety Because They Are Not Broken


You may have realized they struggle with anxiety when you were sitting by their side and holding their hands when they were crying in front of the doctor’s office.

You may have seen them explode and lose control over their emotions because they suddenly got overwhelmed. Perhaps you wondered where all this has come from. And every time you see them looking at the distance with an empty look that signals pain and panic, you start worrying.

Yes, anxiety is different for everyone, but it is a condition that is consistent and sometimes hard to tell. You may think that they’ve lost their temper and got angry at you for no reason, but it’s their anxiety that’s got the best of them. You may think they are sad because of something you’ve done, but usually, it’s their anxiety that has crippled back in their soul.

They cannot understand why you would reply with nothing when they ask you what you are thinking. They can’t because in their mind – it’s never “nothing.” Their brain is always active, and it is exhausting for them. That’s why they are often tired.

Every day they think. They think about everything. Unfortunately, they always think of the worst-case scenarios. That’s why they always worry. They worry that something will go wrong. That something bad will happen to them or to the people they love. That’s the reason why when they are not with you, they will text you million times to make sure you are okay.

There are times when they wonder what you see in them. They often fear that one day you’ll get tired and leave them alone. They know that sometimes their anxiety makes them difficult to love, but they can’t help themselves.

But they love you with all their heart and they would do everything for you. They care about you so much, and they don’t want to lose you. That’s why sometimes they overreact. Because all those emotions overwhelm them.

All I want to say is, I know that it is difficult for you too. I know it is hard to see your partner struggling and hurting. I know you are under pressure all the time. But, don’t ever think that your partner doesn’t see your efforts, don’t ever think that they don’t care and worry about you too.

They know everything. They know it’s not your fault. They know you want the best for them. They know that it’s their anxiety that’s the real problem. But they can’t fix themselves. Nor can you. Because they are not broken.

You can’t fix them, but you can help them deal with it.

You can try to understand them every time they start feeling anxious. You can hold their hand and tell them you are not going anywhere and you’ll both get out of it together.

Calm her down, remind her to take deep breaths, and tell her that everything is going to be okay. Tell her you understand her, you love her, and you’ll never leave her alone no matter what.

Because anxiety is a terrible, heartbreaking condition for both of you. It can make you miserable if you are not there for each other.

You should always, always remember that they love you, that they appreciate you. That their condition makes them scared and vulnerable. But the fact that they chose you as their partner to share with you their biggest scar that is in their heart means that they saw something special in you. And what you both have is something wonderful and worth fighting for.

Mary Wright