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Why We Keep Losing Interest In People Who Give Us Too Much Attention


What is it about us, humans that make us yearn for the things we don’t have?  

It seems like our greediness will never be satisfied, no matter what we do.

Because the minute we get our hands on the things we once desperately craved for, we become indifferent. And the blood-thirsty hunt for the next best thing that will eventually fulfill our greedy egos begins, once again.

You could say that when it comes to objects and things from the material world, the rise of technology will always know the best tricks to lure our greedy mouths in.

The capitalistic society has designed us that way. We’ll always have an unattainable urge to want the things we can’t have.

However, it seems like humans are no different when it comes to relationships. We LOVE the chase. We would kill for the thrills of having something unattainable.

No matter how much people whine and cry for an actual relationship, the minute they face a person with serious intentions, they tend to chicken out and destroy everything.

We meet a person who appears to be successful, even smarter than us. We keep receiving just enough to get addicted and we instantly perceive them as a challenge.

Our ego-driven minds force us to give it a go, they compel us to chase them. We’re hooked.

On the other hand, there’s a person who loves you and swears to be there for you, for an eternity. They see a perfection in you. They would provide you safety, love, and compassion, and yet, you dismiss them. Like they’re not good enough for you.

Because they will never be the chase you’re used to.

Because loving someone is changed to being in awe of someone. Loving someone is not a pure intention anymore – the goal today is to make that someone fall crazy in love with you.

And this is the reason why most of us keep losing interest in people who would do everything for them.

We’re wired to desperately want things that we believe are “too good” for us.

We have grown associating the thrills of chasing the unattainable with something that’s worth fighting for. We are convinced that a true love comes with a great fight.

 We keep believing that what is worth having will not come easy.  We would have to suffer before it actually comes.

As a result, we need to reassure ourselves that there’s something worth fighting for before we decide to invest in it.

And emotionally unavailable individuals who love to be out of our reach are the Holy Grail for most of us.

One of the reasons why we keep choosing people who are better than us is seen from a more biological aspect.

We prefer strong and healthy individual, seemingly better than us, with whom we would create a better offspring.

For humans, that’s the most significant reason for reproducing – to create something divine and better than them.

But, considering this, why then would we feel uninterested in the people who see the better in us?

No matter how desperate it sounds, the problem lies within ourselves and it has everything to do with our self-confidence. More specifically, our lack of self-confidence.

Deep inside of us, a small part believes that we aren’t worthy of being loved. Whether it’s an insecurity created by our family or a past relationship, we feel like we don’t deserve a great love. We place a lesser value on ourselves.

So, when someone appears and suddenly desires us, we go with the most logical train of thought: “There must be something wrong with you for liking me”. We naturally tend to place a lesser value on them.

 We aren’t comfortable with the thought of having someone always there for us because if they like us, they must not be that good. It’s scary how self-destructive and wicked we sometimes are with ourselves, don’t you think?

Instead, we are thrilled to engage in the never-ending sadistic game of hard-to-get. Because the one we’re chasing is much better than us. That’s what got us in the first place.

And for some reason, we would rather be rejected and heartbroken by someone better than us, than receive affection from a “lesser-valued” person.

But, how long are we going to let this thing happen? Are we willing to destroy our lives because of that insatiable thrill? Or are we really that desperate and insecure?

What do you think?

Stephanie Reeds


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