Last night I got to thinking about relationships and why it is so hard for men to get in one and then even harder to be alone if that relationship or marriage falls apart.
I think it comes down to the feeling of danger.
Men are hard-wired to look for danger all the time. That’s what makes them men – to be on guard constantly.
They hunt. They don’t nest. They don’t see nesting as a satisfiable option. And more importantly, they don’t willingly travel to the snake pit they call “feelings.”
However, what feels dangerous to a man is the thought of having to spend his life alone. The thought of having no one to feed him. No one to nurse him back to health. No one who has his back…
On the other hand, women don’t live their lives looking out for danger. Women love their nests.
They also don’t feel that being alone is a scary and dangerous thing. Women are hard-wired to watch for the signs and listen to their intuition. When they sense danger – they escape into their peaceful home.
In fact, there are many women who felt relieved, happy, and safe when they came home after leaving a toxic relationship behind.
There are many single women in my neighborhood and some of them are my close friends. And all of them, even though they’ve been single for years are not yearning to change their relationship status.
They live their life. They are happy. They are independent.
They say that they are willing to get in a relationship only if they are lucky enough to fall MADLY in love with someone again. The key word being madly. Because they understand that a relationship or a marriage takes a lot of work. And a man is a hell lot of work as well.
Single women don’t mind eating alone. They enjoy cooking for themselves and pampering themselves. They love not having to justify themselves for buying another pair of shoes with their own money.
They love not being criticized or judged. They love to decide for themselves. They love cleaning their home and knowing that when they come home everything will be there the way they left it. No mess.
And single men, on the other hand, don’t care about these amazing features of single life. That’s why they hate being alone. Suddenly all they see is danger around them.
So, maybe the sayings that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, and a man needs marriage like a fish needs water are both true.
What do you think?