Can you imagine this: an empath and a narcissist – an emotionally – draining combination. These two types of people are as different as chalk and cheese and the possibility for them to truly bond is almost impossible, to say the least. Still, sometimes these two diametrically opposite personalities connect and the relationship they create is nothing else but toxic.
You may find it surprising, but there’s one thing that is common for all narcissists – they’re emotionally wounded people. Usually, this stems from some painful event they experienced in their childhood that made them feel worthless and scarred them for life. As a result, they constantly seek other people’s validation and admiration.
On the other hand, we have empaths – the healers of the world.
Empaths are highly sensitive people who have the ability to feel and absorb the feelings and energies of others. They can sense if someone is worried, sad, or in pain, and it comes naturally to them to feel these feelings as their own.
If an empath doesn’t have clear boundaries and doesn’t know how to protect themselves, they can easily and quickly bond with the narcissist so as to fix any damage and take away whatever pain the narcissist is experiencing.
Yet, what the empath fails to realize is that narcissists are emotional vampires. Given the chance, they’ll suck the energy and life out of anyone they come in contact with. This is how they build up their own reserves and feel fulfilled and validated, while draining the other person mentally and emotionally.
The problem is that not only are empaths unable to see the dark sides of narcissists, but they also think that all people are kind, compassionate, and generous like they are. They always tend to look for the good in others. They always put themselves in other people’s shoes and experience the feelings and thoughts of others, while forgetting that not all people are kind-hearted and honest as they are and that they may have a hidden agenda.
And undeniably, the narcissist’s agenda is manipulating others.
The narcissist will use all kinds of devious manipulation tactics to gain and maintain control over their partner and the relationship. They can’t stand to be inferior to the person they’re in a relationship with.
On the other hand, the empath’s agenda is to love, help, and heal. There is no balance between these two different personality types. And the more love and support the empath offers, the more powerful the narcissist becomes.
As the narcissist gains more dominance and control, the more likely the empath will become their victim. The narcissist will lie to and manipulate the empath in many ways so that the latter satisfy their needs and desires. Very soon, the empath will become so wounded, and as a result, more vulnerable to acquire some narcissistic traits themselves. This is how a vicious cycle begins to swirl.
When the narcissist realizes that the empath is wounded, this will make them feel more powerful and they’ll try to keep the empath down so as to feed their ego. The lower and sadder the empath is, the higher and happier the narcissist feels.
At this point, the empath will start desperately seek love and validation from the narcissist because they feel hurt and bad about themselves. And each cry for help will make the narcissist feel worthier.
Then, the empath starts focusing only on their dissatisfaction and pain they’re enduring, and instead of looking outwards and seeing what causes their pain, they blame themselves.
At this point, it’s very important for the empath to wake up and understand the situation they’re in before it’s too late and they become self-absorbed like the narcissists. Because a person who has been deeply hurt and is in pain can become a narcissist themselves since they focus only on their pain and look for other people to make them feel good again.
However, any attempt to communicate with the narcissist will be in vain because they certainly aren’t interested in helping and healing anyone. Moreover, narcissists are charismatic and highly manipulative people and they can easily blame their pain on the empath and also ensure that the empath feels responsible for the pain they’re going through.
So, how can an empath prevent themselves from becoming a narcissist and put an end to their pain?
The empath has the choice to continue being the victim, a pawn in the narcissist’s game, or find the strength within themselves, pluck up the courage and part ways with the narcissist.
The empath needs to realize that the relationship is going nowhere and that is damaging for them. They also need to realize that whatever they do, they can’t fix, heal, and change the narcissist.
Most importantly, the empath needs to understand that everyone is responsible for their own healing and happiness, and that a deep, meaningful emotional and spiritual connection between them and narcissists is impossible, in fact, such a connection is a recipe for nothing else but a disaster.