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When You Love Someone, You Don’t Change Them: You Accept Them For Who They Are

accepting someone

Lately, I’ve been thinking about love. About what we think love means, and what love actually means. You want to know the truth? When it comes to love, we don’t have the slightest clue of what it means to really commit to another person and love them in the real sense of the word.

The phrase “I love you” is thrown around so loosely nowadays, that it no longer holds any meaning or value.

Unconditional love? What do you mean? What was that? Is it hanging around until you hit a rough patch and you leave?

We live in a cruel and heartless society that is slowly destroying the real values. And it pains me to accept that.

Look around you. People are no longer grateful for the things they have. They don’t appreciate what they’re being given. They have no respect for people’s emotions. Most importantly, they have no clue what unconditional really means.

Wake up! Falling in love with the idea of someone and hoping that you can eventually change them is not unconditional love. You cannot call that love. Love doesn’t work that way. True love requires patience, tolerance, courage, acceptance and above all mutual understanding.

When you truly love someone, their imperfections are not an issue. In fact, when you fall madly in love with someone, you fall in love with the essence of their soul. Their imperfections and quirks are what make them who they are. A unique and amazing human being whose soul matches yours the same way the sun complements the moon.

When you truly fall in love with another human being, you fall for the person they were before they met you. You don’t love them hoping that they will eventually change. You don’t expect them to be something they’re not. Something that you’d want them to be.

More importantly, you don’t decide to just leave them when things get tough. At least not when you claim to love them unconditionally.

When you truly care for another person, you accept the fact that you won’t always agree on everything, but you also promise each other that you would always do everything in your power to make things work. Because deep down you know that your love is stronger than anything else in the world. And you know that whatever life throws at you, as long as you fight it together, you can overcome everything.

Unconditional love is not silently suffering and waiting for your partner to change.

The word ‘unconditional’ means until the rest of your lives and for all eternity, not until you hit a rough patch. It means loving another person on their worst days as much as you love them on their best days. It means knowing all of their secrets and never judging them for sinning. It means caring so much that you’d rather fight until the very end then choose the easier way out and just leave.

It is always seeing their magic and reminding them of it when they have forgotten how much they’re worth. It is being happy for someone’s happiness.

Unconditional is holding someone’s hand in the rain.  It means enjoying the rainbow but also surviving the thunderstorm together.

Stephanie Reeds