My friend David was dropping me off the other day and there was an awkward situation where neither one of us wanted to say goodbye. It was a perfect autumn evening and we sat there in his car listening to the raindrops falling down.
We were laughing at my sloppiness as he saw a long black hair inside of my lipstick tube when I was trying to fix my lipstick. Then, suddenly I said: “What if it’s you, David?”
I surprised myself with my boldness, but I realized that he wasn’t sure what I meant. Then, I continued: “What if we are ‘it’ for each other and after 10 years we are still here sitting in this car together?”
He smiled imagining the scenario of us, old and wrinkly, still sitting in the car, listening to the rain, laughing, and not wanting to get out and go home.
Then, he said: “I don’t want to hurt you. I am terrified of hurting you.”
I put the lipstick in my purse, I reached for his hand, and I said softly to him: “David, you won’t hurt me. You are the safest man I’ve ever loved.”
That night was the first time we confessed our feelings and admitted to each other and to ourselves how our friendship has molded our lives together.
I was also scared. I was mortified at the thought of getting married and all the responsibilities that come with it. But I knew deep inside my heart that if it is one person that I can say ‘yes’ to and imagine my life with, it is David.
From best friends we became lovers. We are seeing each other every day, we talk every day, we love every day. He is the first one I call whenever something good or bad happens. He is my partner in crime. The love of my life.
We choose each other every day.
Yes, sometimes things get hard, but we are handling everything together. We know how to fight and scream at each other because we’ve done that when we were just friends. We know each other’s triggers and boundaries. We know what makes us happy, what makes us laugh, what hurts us.
And I believe that’s the most important thing. Being friends first is an extremely good start of a wonderful relationship.
For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to have someone you can rely on. Someone I can trust with everything I have. Someone who is just like me.